I think you are so brave and an amazing person. Your mum is so very lucky to have such a loving and caring child. Nothing can prepare us for the grief and hard work of looking after a loved one. Your account has helped me and I thank you for your honesty and bravery for writing it. I hope you continue to check into this forum and wish you well.
Can I ... Should I?
- Thread starter Sam Luvit
- Start date
OH and I are spending Christmas by ourselves this year as the children are spending Christmas with their respective in-laws.
I had planned a simple Christmas meal with smoked seafood (bought from our local smokary - you might know it sam as its out your way), salad and prosecco, but OH threw a wobbly, so I had to order a small turkey from our butcher
. We will pick it tomorrow and Im hoping that I can get OH up early so that I can borrow him and his "trolley" (4 wheeled walker with a seat) to get it and the veggies home before there is a long queue. If he doesnt get up I might just borrow it anyway.....!
We will eat the seafood on Christmas eve.
SIL invited up over to spend the day with them, but it will be far too much for OH and their place is denial central, so there wouldnt be any slack cut. I think we will be better off slobbing out at home and watching Christmas TV.
I have iced the Christmas cake - well, covered it in royal icing, anyway. It been purposely done in peaks all over (cos I cant get it smooth abd its quicker this way) with a plastic "Merry Christmas" plaque, some plastic holly and a red ribbon around the outside. It looks fine.
Ive also made some mince pies. They fell apart when I took them out of the oven, so I stuck them back together with the hot mincemeat and dredged them with icing sugar. They will be fine
I think the chestnut and cranberry stuffing is OK and is sitting in the fridge.
Ive lit my Christmas candle and Im beginning to feel Christmassy
I had planned a simple Christmas meal with smoked seafood (bought from our local smokary - you might know it sam as its out your way), salad and prosecco, but OH threw a wobbly, so I had to order a small turkey from our butcher
. We will pick it tomorrow and Im hoping that I can get OH up early so that I can borrow him and his "trolley" (4 wheeled walker with a seat) to get it and the veggies home before there is a long queue. If he doesnt get up I might just borrow it anyway.....!We will eat the seafood on Christmas eve.
SIL invited up over to spend the day with them, but it will be far too much for OH and their place is denial central, so there wouldnt be any slack cut. I think we will be better off slobbing out at home and watching Christmas TV.
I have iced the Christmas cake - well, covered it in royal icing, anyway. It been purposely done in peaks all over (cos I cant get it smooth abd its quicker this way) with a plastic "Merry Christmas" plaque, some plastic holly and a red ribbon around the outside. It looks fine.
Ive also made some mince pies. They fell apart when I took them out of the oven, so I stuck them back together with the hot mincemeat and dredged them with icing sugar. They will be fine
I think the chestnut and cranberry stuffing is OK and is sitting in the fridge.
Ive lit my Christmas candle and Im beginning to feel Christmassy
Oooh, thank you @Tommy2013, I’m really not amazing at all, but I’ll take the compliment as it’s sorely needed
There is nothing that can prepare us for this journey, although reading has given me so much info & wats to cope
I’m on here a lot, it keeps me sane while my mum presses my buttons lol
Feel free to join in, we’re a friendly bunch
Oh, no, @Slugsta, no chance of it being like the Waltons or a Hallmark film or any of that soppy nonsense.
I am grateful I have family to be with and who want me to be with them. I don't want to discount that!
But there are a lot of little things that make it, not quite the Christmas you want. The biggest problem this year is time. My husband works in the private sector, for a retail company, and he has to work December 26-29, unlike my cousin and his wife, who have government jobs and hence the week off. So, we will only have about 24 hours to spend with family this year and even though we've told them repeatedly, they will be startled when we have to leave and will protest and be sad we couldn't spend more time with them.
Then there is the challenge of dealing with my Aunt D (not the aunt who is hosting us, but her sister), who has mental and physical health issues. We will do the best we can, which is all any of us can do.
So you can likely well understand that my favourite part of Christmas may not be, my family gathering, but the volunteering, and spending time, with friends.
Wouldn't a TP Christmas party be nice! We will have to make do with the virtual TP Christmas room.
I'll raise a glass to all of you, just the same.
I am grateful I have family to be with and who want me to be with them. I don't want to discount that!
But there are a lot of little things that make it, not quite the Christmas you want. The biggest problem this year is time. My husband works in the private sector, for a retail company, and he has to work December 26-29, unlike my cousin and his wife, who have government jobs and hence the week off. So, we will only have about 24 hours to spend with family this year and even though we've told them repeatedly, they will be startled when we have to leave and will protest and be sad we couldn't spend more time with them.
Then there is the challenge of dealing with my Aunt D (not the aunt who is hosting us, but her sister), who has mental and physical health issues. We will do the best we can, which is all any of us can do.
So you can likely well understand that my favourite part of Christmas may not be, my family gathering, but the volunteering, and spending time, with friends.
Wouldn't a TP Christmas party be nice! We will have to make do with the virtual TP Christmas room.
I'll raise a glass to all of you, just the same.
@Sam Luvit
Wishing you a peaceful and calm Christmas! I don't post much, but pop in to keep up. Hoping your own health is relatively good at the moment? And hoping the only lemons you see over Christmas are the ones you are slicing for drinks! xx
Wishing you a peaceful and calm Christmas! I don't post much, but pop in to keep up. Hoping your own health is relatively good at the moment? And hoping the only lemons you see over Christmas are the ones you are slicing for drinks! xx
Hi @canary
I’m beginning to wish none of the family were coming, as youngest is the one that keeps eldest in check, but he’s not coming & the tantrums have started tonight Eldest has just phoned to inform me he will be turning up around 2, as he needs to sort things Christmas morning I said more like 12, I’ve no desire to be splitting up the day running around picking him up, I got “what” (very insolent), so I hung up rather than tell him his fortune
Eldest made lots of noises about wanting to come for Christmas & now wants it to revolve around him. In his dreams
I’ve got an image of you, big hat, scarf, dark glasses, pretending to shuffle as approaching the butcher, then legging it as soon as you are round the corner Go on, tell me you haven’t thought about it
Your cake sounds just fine. Very fashionable & so long as it’s tasty ....
I’ve caved & bought fancy mince pies. I have ingredients to make cakes, if I have time & energy & can be “bothered”. Your collapsing mince pies reminded me of why I don’t make them often.
I was clearing things to get ready to decorate, neighbour (very talkative & a bit religious) arrived. WouId Mum like a chair, but it has to be now. Seriously. Just before Christmas. I’ve had to move the tree, move a stool so I can move another chair. Move the recliner & the pouff (how do you spell that?). Table moved. All so Mum can have a chair, that she liked, but might not like tomorrow
Decorating & clearing up halted. I’m on a coffee break calming down.
I’m beginning to wish none of the family were coming, as youngest is the one that keeps eldest in check, but he’s not coming & the tantrums have started tonight
Eldest has just phoned to inform me he will be turning up around 2, as he needs to sort things Christmas morning I said more like 12, I’ve no desire to be splitting up the day running around picking him up, I got “what” (very insolent), so I hung up rather than tell him his fortune Eldest made lots of noises about wanting to come for Christmas & now wants it to revolve around him. In his dreams
I’ve got an image of you, big hat, scarf, dark glasses, pretending to shuffle as approaching the butcher, then legging it as soon as you are round the corner
Go on, tell me you haven’t thought about it Your cake sounds just fine. Very fashionable & so long as it’s tasty ....
I’ve caved & bought fancy mince pies. I have ingredients to make cakes, if I have time & energy & can be “bothered”. Your collapsing mince pies reminded me of why I don’t make them often.
I was clearing things to get ready to decorate, neighbour (very talkative & a bit religious) arrived. WouId Mum like a chair, but it has to be now. Seriously. Just before Christmas. I’ve had to move the tree, move a stool so I can move another chair. Move the recliner & the pouff (how do you spell that?). Table moved. All so Mum can have a chair, that she liked, but might not like tomorrow
Decorating & clearing up halted. I’m on a coffee break calming down.
Hi @Amy in the US
I think a TP Christmas gathering wouId be a scream, I’ll just go check flights & you can collect a coach load of us
I have threatened to have Poppet sorted & parked up near youngest next year, complete with Mum & pooch. Debateable whether eldest will be reserved a seat if his attitude doesn’t improve
I think I’d far rather spend the day helping homeless peeps than refereeing eldest & my mum
I think a TP Christmas gathering wouId be a scream, I’ll just go check flights & you can collect a coach load of us
I have threatened to have Poppet sorted & parked up near youngest next year, complete with Mum & pooch. Debateable whether eldest will be reserved a seat if his attitude doesn’t improve
I think I’d far rather spend the day helping homeless peeps than refereeing eldest & my mum
Sam, sorry about the idiotic grown children and their tantrums.
This is why I like volunteering on Christmas Eve and then being with friends. No family drama. People are glad to see us. We cook for other people and then get booze and nibbles for ourselves. What's not to like?
This is why I like volunteering on Christmas Eve and then being with friends. No family drama. People are glad to see us. We cook for other people and then get booze and nibbles for ourselves. What's not to like?
Hello @LadyA, it’s lovely to see you. Hope you are your furry friends are not a bother
Have a wonderful Christmas, hoping you don’t need to drive much in these darker evenings
I’ve relegated lemons. None allowed. I slice em for mums G&T, but won’t accept other variety’s
Health is ok, so long as I pace myself, not easy this time of year, but Mum is being quiet understanding, so that is a pleasant change.
I’ll look after my shoulder if you promise to do the same
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Exactly. I’d love to tell the ungrateful family to take a hike. I don’t have the energy to deal with them or their drama. Anyone would think they are the first people to ever have trouble in their lives
Next year I’m going to have a singles Chrustmas club & invite random friends & neighbours who are on their own. At least it might be fun
Sam, I love the idea of the singles Christmas club!
Sorry that your eldest is being a PITA. Is it just me, or do 'children' seem to grow up much more slowly these days? My son is 31 and still doesn't think ahead and arrange things. He is supposed to be arriving here sometime tomorrow afternoon/evening, but I wouldn't be surprised to get a message saying he won't be here until Sunday!
Well, the Sky engineer has been and gone. AS originally told, we cannot have Sky Q unless the satellite is upgraded. This would mean everyone in the block having to pay more, so is not going to happen So the only way I can watch anything more than channels 1, 2 and 3 in my bedroom is via the computer - which means I cannot use the comp at the same time We did talk about getting me a cheap lappy to use for the TV but changed our minds when we thought we could get the upgraded Sky package. Oh well, it is a real 'first world problem' isn't it?!
I have sampled the Nutella vodka. I is not as choclately as I would like but will have to do. If I make it again in future I will add some cocoa or hot chocolate powder to the mix. I have a 750ml bottle for son's girlfriend and a 375 bottle as an extra pressie if needed (my BFF's son might come over with them on Christmas Eve).
Hoping that everyone has a peaceful evening xx
Sorry that your eldest is being a PITA. Is it just me, or do 'children' seem to grow up much more slowly these days? My son is 31 and still doesn't think ahead and arrange things. He is supposed to be arriving here sometime tomorrow afternoon/evening, but I wouldn't be surprised to get a message saying he won't be here until Sunday!
Well, the Sky engineer has been and gone. AS originally told, we cannot have Sky Q unless the satellite is upgraded. This would mean everyone in the block having to pay more, so is not going to happen
So the only way I can watch anything more than channels 1, 2 and 3 in my bedroom is via the computer - which means I cannot use the comp at the same time We did talk about getting me a cheap lappy to use for the TV but changed our minds when we thought we could get the upgraded Sky package. Oh well, it is a real 'first world problem' isn't it?!I have sampled the Nutella vodka. I is not as choclately as I would like but will have to do. If I make it again in future I will add some cocoa or hot chocolate powder to the mix. I have a 750ml bottle for son's girlfriend and a 375 bottle as an extra pressie if needed (my BFF's son might come over with them on Christmas Eve).
Hoping that everyone has a peaceful evening xx
You should be able to sometime next year
http://helpforum.sky.com/t5/News-Updates/Sky-Q-to-launch-without-a-satellite-dish/ba-p/2596567
Hi @Slugsta, you know, I think you’re right. At 19 I was hassling the solicitor about the purchase of Mum & dads house, at 21 I had bought my flat & was managing a mortgage. My eldest is 27, can’t manage money (I’ve tried to teach him, but of course he knows better). If I’m invited somewhere, I ask what time I should arrive, he seems to think he can decide & I should change all plans. Not going to happen. PITA is spot on
I was pretty strict, nothing like as strict as my parents, but still more so than my friends. Eldest is a nightmare, youngest is polite & thoughtful. I’ve no idea why they are so different if why eldest thinks the works owes him. Bah. Humbug
It’s always so disappointing when you think you can do something & then get told you can’t. You could pick up a second hand Sky box & watch 1-5 with that. Or, if you just want to be able to watch in the bedroom rather than the lounge, you could try a TV eye (eBay are cheap), it’s been a while, but I seem to remember you plug one in by your first TV, with the other by your second TV & you can use the remote to change channels etc on the second TV. Not helpful if someone is watching the first TV as you change their channel too!! I used it to watch the end of something in bed, so comfy & could just turn it off & go to sleep.
Nutella vodka? Please enlighten me as I’ve nit the energy to go google lol
Yes, I think singles Christmas will need to be sorted. I’ve decided it’s a brilliant off the cuff idea, if I say so myself
Hi @nitram.
Excellent. Much better news for @Slugsta than messing about with extra boxes or eyes.
Our planner is struggling with only 5% free, Mum just doesn’t want to watch what’s on there & I’ve not the time to binge watch right now. I used to have a DVD recorder set up to copy to DVD, but the recorder died & I can’t remember how to do it anyway. (Yes it is legal, they have a copy function)
Sam, I think the singles Christmas gathering sounds a great idea. Good for you.
For photos of what I've accomplished with Christmas baking so far this afternoon, see the virtual Christmas thread. I'm putting my feet up for a minute and then mixing the next batch of dough.
For photos of what I've accomplished with Christmas baking so far this afternoon, see the virtual Christmas thread. I'm putting my feet up for a minute and then mixing the next batch of dough.
Thanks Nitram, that is good news! We have such a poor signal here that I cannot even get my freeview channels and the whole object of the exercise is for us to watch different things at the same time.
The Nutella vodka is vodka, Nutella and long-life cream, heated gently and thoroughly mixed. Some recipes add sugar, some don't but I felt it needed a little. The benefit of long-life cream is that it will last up to 3 months without being refrigerated. It was certainly nice but, as I said, could have done with being a bit more chocolatey. My BFF is rather fond of mocha, I could try adding some coffee liqueur next time . . .
The Nutella vodka is vodka, Nutella and long-life cream, heated gently and thoroughly mixed. Some recipes add sugar, some don't but I felt it needed a little. The benefit of long-life cream is that it will last up to 3 months without being refrigerated. It was certainly nice but, as I said, could have done with being a bit more chocolatey. My BFF is rather fond of mocha, I could try adding some coffee liqueur next time . . .
The idea of volunteering sounds wonderful, as does the idea of a singletons Christmas. Maybe I can do that at some stage in the future. Hope you get your eldest sorted; my youngest is a bit like that, but at least she doesnt expect me to rearrange everything around her
Amy , you have been doing a lot of baking - I hope everyone appreciates it
Not sure what to make of the Nutella vodka, slugsta
Amy , you have been doing a lot of baking - I hope everyone appreciates it
Not sure what to make of the Nutella vodka, slugsta
Just as added bonus ... whatever we were watching finished & Cake Boss (???) was on as I backed out of the planner. Oh my. They were talking about marble icing. It was just
White icing & chocolate icing. Roll each into a sausage. Then twist together. Lightly knead to mix. Roll out & ice the cake. Oh my gosh. It looked A maze ing. I might have to make. Cake & do that.
Hi @canary, I’ve got my appraisal in the New Year & I’m going to see if I can maybe do something a bit more involved than just admin. While I get that streamlining has been my forte, I fancy something a bit more face to face, it may lead to other things. I don’t want to leave them, as I think my role is important, but I also feel the need for more interaction.
I could start a new trend, not just an extra chair, but a mix of new people. Who knows, it could be fun. Christmas is hard for those with no one to share, going somewhere as the “if you’ve no where else to go” feels uncomfortable, so maybe if everyone is the same, it would be less uncomfortable
Surprise, surprise, eldest has not tried to call again. I’m annoyed as he pushed to come, so I encouraged Mum to “do Christmas” & now it looks like it’ll just be the 2 of us anyway. His behaviour history means he will not answer calls or texts, then say his phone was playing up & it’ll all be my fault. Bored of that.
I’m not sure about Nutella vodka either @Slugsta, I love chocolate (it doesn’t live me), vodka has little effect... mmmm dark chocolate & CM??
I could start a new trend, not just an extra chair, but a mix of new people. Who knows, it could be fun. Christmas is hard for those with no one to share, going somewhere as the “if you’ve no where else to go” feels uncomfortable, so maybe if everyone is the same, it would be less uncomfortable
Surprise, surprise, eldest has not tried to call again. I’m annoyed as he pushed to come, so I encouraged Mum to “do Christmas” & now it looks like it’ll just be the 2 of us anyway. His behaviour history means he will not answer calls or texts, then say his phone was playing up & it’ll all be my fault. Bored of that.
I’m not sure about Nutella vodka either @Slugsta, I love chocolate (it doesn’t live me
), vodka has little effect... mmmm dark chocolate & CM??
Hi Sam will be giving you a call tomorrow (Thank you)x
Everything was going along ok, got my various presents delivered whilst carers were here.Really well organised this year. Just a few decorations up and my advent candles so everything looking quite Christmassy although Mum has no idea and noticed nothing,couldn't risk a tree as last year Mum kept wanting to hug it so just too dangerous.
Then this morning our lovely carer Mums main one arrived and we had a good morning with Mum then she left leaving Just Mum and I Then our land line telephone rang I went to pick the phone up in next room then heard a bang Mum had tried to get up and in the space of seconds fallen and banged her back on the arm of the sofa so was in pain so I didn't dare risk moving her. I pressed Mums helpline "vitaline " and they called for an ambulance as well as sending someone to us a lovely Man who had been a paramedic for 25yrs. We got Mum covered and we tried to make her as comfy as possible whilst waiting for the ambulance. An hour later it arrived along with my next carer visit the owner of the care company, a nurse for 25yrs so I was relieved.
The outcome of it all is Mum has a swelling on her rib halfway down her back, they think it is soft tissue swelling not a break or fracture but a fracture can't be ruled out so pain relief paracetamol every four hours. Mums in a lot of discomfort and I'm awake now as she just winced in bed so poor Mum is going to find this quite distressing. I managed to get Mum on the commode at the side of the bed with a lot of cajoling so that was good at least, but I've to monitor Mum and see how she is tomorrow, don't want Mum not coughing if she needs to otherwise she could get chest infection.
So lots of gentle hugs and kisses needed over the next few days or weeks, however long this takes to heal.
Apart from our Priest calling in Christmas day our plans were to have a quiet day together. Thank goodness I hadn't invited anyone else !!
Sam I do hope your Mums spirits lift we can have a good old moan together over the telephone later.
Margi had to laugh at the image of your lovely Mum dusting with the Christmas tree
Slugsta seems like you will get sky eventually hope your doing ok.
Amy I would love to do something voluntry on Christmas day and hopefully in the future I will. Your Christmas still sounds lovely
If I don't get chance to post again before Christmas I'd like to wish everyone on this thread and your loved ones A Very Merry Christmas (as best you can) and a Happy Healthy and peaceful New Year. Lots of love and big ((hugs)) to you allxx
Everything was going along ok, got my various presents delivered whilst carers were here.Really well organised this year. Just a few decorations up and my advent candles so everything looking quite Christmassy although Mum has no idea and noticed nothing,couldn't risk a tree as last year Mum kept wanting to hug it so just too dangerous.
Then this morning our lovely carer Mums main one arrived and we had a good morning with Mum then she left leaving Just Mum and I Then our land line telephone rang I went to pick the phone up in next room then heard a bang Mum had tried to get up and in the space of seconds fallen and banged her back on the arm of the sofa so was in pain so I didn't dare risk moving her. I pressed Mums helpline "vitaline " and they called for an ambulance as well as sending someone to us a lovely Man who had been a paramedic for 25yrs. We got Mum covered and we tried to make her as comfy as possible whilst waiting for the ambulance. An hour later it arrived along with my next carer visit the owner of the care company, a nurse for 25yrs so I was relieved.
The outcome of it all is Mum has a swelling on her rib halfway down her back, they think it is soft tissue swelling not a break or fracture but a fracture can't be ruled out so pain relief paracetamol every four hours. Mums in a lot of discomfort and I'm awake now as she just winced in bed so poor Mum is going to find this quite distressing. I managed to get Mum on the commode at the side of the bed with a lot of cajoling so that was good at least, but I've to monitor Mum and see how she is tomorrow, don't want Mum not coughing if she needs to otherwise she could get chest infection.
So lots of gentle hugs and kisses needed over the next few days or weeks, however long this takes to heal.
Apart from our Priest calling in Christmas day our plans were to have a quiet day together. Thank goodness I hadn't invited anyone else !!
Sam I do hope your Mums spirits lift we can have a good old moan together over the telephone later.
Margi had to laugh at the image of your lovely Mum dusting with the Christmas tree
Slugsta seems like you will get sky eventually hope your doing ok.
Amy I would love to do something voluntry on Christmas day and hopefully in the future I will. Your Christmas still sounds lovely
If I don't get chance to post again before Christmas I'd like to wish everyone on this thread and your loved ones A Very Merry Christmas (as best you can) and a Happy Healthy and peaceful New Year. Lots of love and big ((hugs)) to you allxx
