Can i just rant here?

[HodgePodge]

I hate nights like these.
He's locked in the downstairs loo saying I've told him he's got to go to Oxford.
He then says its his money and he's got to go to pay for the volume and I should ring the woman off the telly and she'll explain.

I'm worrying because I keep hearing him run water in sink and fiddling with things.
.....
No 50 minutes into this episode, he's now washed and dressed.(02:50hr)

There's no reasoning with him, he's humming and whistling and pottering round. Do I get dressed too? Or just try to sleep? I've got the keys to house by me so he can't get out.

I get cross with the dementia. It's s hard to separate it and say its not him it's the dementia that's being thoughtless and unreasonable.

I've explained to him what time of night it is and dementia doesn't care. It's reasonable to the dementia to put all the lights on and search for that thing in the middle of the night and whitsle . It doesn't matter that anyone else might like to sleep. And it never says sorry.

When dementia kicks in he doesn't care and it hurts. People keep saying dont take it personally but thats easy when its not you thats being told you did stuff, said things that you didn't say.

I wish I could open his head and pull the dementia out and have my lovely, kind man back.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @HodgePodge and welcome to Talking Point, I am so sorry you are going through this. Of course it’s OK to rant on here, it’s one of the many great things about Talking Point, we can say just how we feel.
And yes, it is hard when people tell us it’s just the dementia Talking but so hard to be on the receiving end.
Hopefully your husband has settled for now. As long as he or you are not in danger it is probably best just to let him potter about. However if you ever feel in danger call the police, they are trained to deal with these sort of things.
Have you discussed these episodes with your husband’s GP, there are medications that can help.
Keep posting on here, either to rant some more or to ask for advice.

 

[Neveradullday!]

Hi @HodgePodge My mum used to do this quite a lot - get up in the middle of the night (she's just done it, but I've persuaded her to get back in her bed) - but in earlier days, she used to go downstairs and wander around at all hours. The official line is it's the D, and it's true, of course, but I found it helped me to call her (to myself), every Anglo Saxon name under the sun! A couple of times she even heard me too.
To be deprived of sleep is tough.

The times when she'd be wandering about, I found the quickest way to get her to go back to her bed was to go down, make us both a cup of tea, and put the TV or radio on. It usually took a couple of hours. As I said, things have improved in that regard, she generally stays upstairs, now. But being kept awake is one of the hardest parts of this. I hope you get some sleep tonight, eventually.

 

[Chocco]

I hate nights like these.
He's locked in the downstairs loo saying I've told him he's got to go to Oxford.
He then says its his money and he's got to go to pay for the volume and I should ring the woman off the telly and she'll explain.

I'm worrying because I keep hearing him run water in sink and fiddling with things.
.....
No 50 minutes into this episode, he's now washed and dressed.(02:50hr)

There's no reasoning with him, he's humming and whistling and pottering round. Do I get dressed too? Or just try to sleep? I've got the keys to house by me so he can't get out.

I get cross with the dementia. It's s hard to separate it and say its not him it's the dementia that's being thoughtless and unreasonable.

I've explained to him what time of night it is and dementia doesn't care. It's reasonable to the dementia to put all the lights on and search for that thing in the middle of the night and whitsle . It doesn't matter that anyone else might like to sleep. And it never says sorry.

When dementia kicks in he doesn't care and it hurts. People keep saying dont take it personally but thats easy when its not you thats being told you did stuff, said things that you didn't say.

I wish I could open his head and pull the dementia out and have my lovely, kind man back.

Hi @HodgePodge.
I've just 2 nights similar to what you described - hell on wheels. Wed night he went to bed at 11pm and from 12am, he was up trying to get dressed to go to Brussells pulling everything out of his cupboards and drawers. He was up and down the hallway, in and out of the bathroom, up and down the stairs and this is a man who can barely walk! There was no talking to him at all about getting back to bed. On Thurs I just couldn't sleep until about 4am and then OH woke me up at 6am wanting help putting his boxer shorts on, then continued to be in and out of my room talking dementia talk. Yesterday I was so exhausted and OH was having a particularly confused day and whereas I would normally cope, being so sleep deprived I really felt like I was losing my mind.
He refused to take his Rivastigmine and Pregabalin pills in the morning because 'Dave' had already given them to him and at one point I felt like forcing his mouth open and shoving the pills in - I didn't though!!
Thank goodness, last night I have managed to get some sleep and feel better this morning.
It is brutal what we are put through.
Thank goodness we have people here that we can vent to that totally understand.

 

[Anthoula]

Hells bells! How do you all manage with such broken and/or deprived sleep? I am the most irritable person on the planet if I don`t get my full quota of zzzz`s. I am full of admiration for how you all cope and carry on. I have to say that once/if my OH reaches that night time wandering stage I dread to think what I will do.

 

[jay6]

I'm with you @Anthoula, Mine hasn't reached the stage of wandering yet but he is partly disabled from stroke so I'm hoping he will miss that bit. It's bad enough putting up with all the rest without sleep deprivation. I feel so sorry for those who have to put up with that too.

 

[JaxG]

@HodgePodge that sounds absolutely horrendous, as if being a carer for the PWD isn't tough enough. I'm also with you @Anthoula I could not cope with this. Can you speak to your doctor and see if there are any medications to help - surely this is not sustainable? My OH is actually very tired, he takes anti-psychotic meds and I think this has helped because he has become much calmer. I really hope you can get some help. xxx

 

[Donk1]

Hells bells! How do you all manage with such broken and/or deprived sleep? I am the most irritable person on the planet if I don`t get my full quota of zzzz`s. I am full of admiration for how you all cope and carry on. I have to say that once/if my OH reaches that night time wandering stage I dread to think what I will do.

Me too