Parent living with you what is fair? I asked this question on the forum two years ago. Its really helpful to bench mark it against something so you don't constantly have to justify what you are doing. If the Care Act had been implemented properly then the figure of 12,000 per year had been mentioned as being 'hotel costs' the costs that everyone has just to survive. The full state pension is meant to cover the basics of live so should it be just over 5,000 a year. Initially we said that we would use this figure, but it did become apparent that my father did not live like a basic state pensioner - he had access to a car, good quality food, etc etc. The disparity became even more evident when I did shopping for MIL who does live on a basic state pension. Her shopping list consisted effectively of bread, jam, biscuits, tinned soup, tinned fruit. If we had steak for tea then that was what I bought for my father...so we upped it to 150.00 per week. I spend the attendance allowance totally on things that improve father's life, - art classes, coffee out, trips etc. I record everything on a little free downloadable expenses app for the phone which has been brilliant.