Hi everyone,
My Dad was diagnosed with Mid stage Alzheimer’s in 2018. I have been caring for him since 2015 and he lives with me, my husband and my 4 year old son. He was diagnosed quite late because he is also an alcoholic and we just thought it was the drink that was affecting him. When he was diagnosed the consultant added into his notes that he was a life long drinker and that if he stopped drinking completely it would be more detrimental to his health. He only drinks lager now but he is drinking daily.
The last three weeks have been unbearable and he has been getting increasingly worse. He thinks there are people in the house and we have had to remove all the mirrors because he keeps shouting at the man in them. The other day he frightened my 4 year old son and I have now come to the conclusion that being a good daughter is making me a bad mum. Dad can’t feed or dress himself anymore and he is frightened of taking a bath. He can’t go out unaided and he spends a lot of time crying. We also have a cat who he looks for in the house at least 3 times an hour and if he can’t find him it sends him into a blind panic - this happens around 2/3 times a day now. He also emptied the cats litter tray into his hand and carried it around the house (Usually I make sure I get there first but sometimes the cat is sneaky) He also pours dry cat food all around the house and covers his entire bedroom carpet Yesterday I think I reached breaking point and have requested a care assessment from my local council. I just can’t do this anymore. After we had spent an hour removing his wardrobe doors (mirrored) he told me he was going to shoot “that bloke” in the mirror. I wasn’t sure what he meant until he showed me a very convincing looking pellet gun that he had hidden under his chair cushion. I can’t have that sort of behaviour with a 4 year old around. It’s getting harder to shield my son and he is becoming very wary of grandad.
I’ve never sought outside help before as he is so very paranoid that we can’t have strangers in the house. He is even starting to get agitated when people walk past the house and we can’t get him away from the windows. I feel really guilty about not being able to do more for him and feel like I’m giving up but I’m at my wits end. I’ve spoken to my younger brother and sister (18 & 20) and they have both basically told me that I’ve given up enough of my life already and that I need to do what I need to do so I have their support.
I am concerned that if he goes into a home then he will die because of the lack of alcohol intake but I’m actually quite scared now and I’m concerned he’s a danger to us and to himself.
I know this is probably the worst time to be looking at outside care but I don’t feel I have a choice. ?
My Dad was diagnosed with Mid stage Alzheimer’s in 2018. I have been caring for him since 2015 and he lives with me, my husband and my 4 year old son. He was diagnosed quite late because he is also an alcoholic and we just thought it was the drink that was affecting him. When he was diagnosed the consultant added into his notes that he was a life long drinker and that if he stopped drinking completely it would be more detrimental to his health. He only drinks lager now but he is drinking daily.
The last three weeks have been unbearable and he has been getting increasingly worse. He thinks there are people in the house and we have had to remove all the mirrors because he keeps shouting at the man in them. The other day he frightened my 4 year old son and I have now come to the conclusion that being a good daughter is making me a bad mum. Dad can’t feed or dress himself anymore and he is frightened of taking a bath. He can’t go out unaided and he spends a lot of time crying. We also have a cat who he looks for in the house at least 3 times an hour and if he can’t find him it sends him into a blind panic - this happens around 2/3 times a day now. He also emptied the cats litter tray into his hand and carried it around the house (Usually I make sure I get there first but sometimes the cat is sneaky) He also pours dry cat food all around the house and covers his entire bedroom carpet Yesterday I think I reached breaking point and have requested a care assessment from my local council. I just can’t do this anymore. After we had spent an hour removing his wardrobe doors (mirrored) he told me he was going to shoot “that bloke” in the mirror. I wasn’t sure what he meant until he showed me a very convincing looking pellet gun that he had hidden under his chair cushion. I can’t have that sort of behaviour with a 4 year old around. It’s getting harder to shield my son and he is becoming very wary of grandad.
I’ve never sought outside help before as he is so very paranoid that we can’t have strangers in the house. He is even starting to get agitated when people walk past the house and we can’t get him away from the windows. I feel really guilty about not being able to do more for him and feel like I’m giving up but I’m at my wits end. I’ve spoken to my younger brother and sister (18 & 20) and they have both basically told me that I’ve given up enough of my life already and that I need to do what I need to do so I have their support.
I am concerned that if he goes into a home then he will die because of the lack of alcohol intake but I’m actually quite scared now and I’m concerned he’s a danger to us and to himself.
I know this is probably the worst time to be looking at outside care but I don’t feel I have a choice. ?