Can’t cope anymore

[LolaG1]

Thank you everyone for your support. I’ve found this forum to be so incredibly helpful as you feel less alone. I’m still in the process of trying to find out if Dad has a case or social worker. I’ve been pushed from pillar to post and unfortunately am getting nowhere. Dads universal credit has stopped as he is pension age but I am unable to apply for his state pension without face verification. I’ve sent various emails only to be told that someone else can help me. I know nothing about fees, funding or his care costs. Apparently he also has a new GP now which I know nothing about. I’ve contacted the following organisations
Bromley Adult social care - I was told my email had been passed to Bromley Community Mental Health Team
Bromley Community Mental Health - didn’t contact me so I emailed in a complaint, they advised me that Older Adults Community Mental Health Team (OACMHT) in Croydon took over the case on the 29th June as Bromley have pretty much washed their hands of us and dumped him in Croydon’s care.
Older Adults Community Mental Health Team in Croydon - advised me that yes they took the case on the 29th June and then they rejected it. The person who dealt with it was now on maternity leave so I couldn’t find out why. They advised me it had been referred to the Care Home Intervention Team in July who had also rejected it. They advised me to call his GP to which I replied that I had no idea who that was supposed to be now. His Bromley surgery emailed confirmation of him leaving them but I’ve never been told where he is now. They advised me the care home could tell me this but I highly doubt it as they couldn’t arrange hospital transport to pick up his clothes or tell me actually how he was when I called in on the phone. They advised me to contact Croydon Council.
Croydon Council complaints department - I’m still waiting for a response, they ask for 10 days and it has been 5.

If I don’t get anywhere with Croydon Council I’m going to leave it as I’m pretty sure they will all be on the phone when it’s time to discuss fees. I had a generic email from the care home yesterday asking about “Residence Finance”. I told them I didn’t know what that was and they briefly explained it’s for cab fares, chiropodists etc. I’m guessing most people would get some sort of information pack when their family member is entered into a home. I have had absolutely nothing from anywhere.

I wouldn’t wish this situation on my worst enemy. I miss my Dad so much and really feel someone must be in charge of his care. What about his meds and his brain bleed? I’m not allowed to see him again as the care home is shut for visitors due to a new Covid case. Do you think a charity organisation would be able to help me or should I just wait until they need something from me?

Thank you all. Xx

 

[imthedaughter]

Oh goodness this is a catalogue of incompetence. Dad's GP was changed when he moved into care as the home tend to have one practice looking after them so yes they should be able to tell you. Of course you don't have a lot of trust in them now! The home should liaise with the memory team and deal with his medication. The brain bleed if contained may be something they do nothing about, my dad has some as well and they said they could in theory operate but he is terrified of operations now and frankly the GP advised against it as well.
We sort of lost our social services contact when dad went into care but I did ask them to do a financial assessment this year and they had him on file. However he's not between boroughs, I sympathise as I live right at the edge of three!
I think you probably can wait and see with the funding, someone must be funding the care home placement.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your dad. I think next step is find GP, make phone appointment, speak to them about medication, get confirmation of memory team or GP prescribing care (who prescribes medication, have the care home been giving it etc) then you may have some answers or an opportunity to ask questions on the brain bleed etc too.

 

[LolaG1]

Oh goodness this is a catalogue of incompetence. Dad's GP was changed when he moved into care as the home tend to have one practice looking after them so yes they should be able to tell you. Of course you don't have a lot of trust in them now! The home should liaise with the memory team and deal with his medication. The brain bleed if contained may be something they do nothing about, my dad has some as well and they said they could in theory operate but he is terrified of operations now and frankly the GP advised against it as well.
We sort of lost our social services contact when dad went into care but I did ask them to do a financial assessment this year and they had him on file. However he's not between boroughs, I sympathise as I live right at the edge of three!
I think you probably can wait and see with the funding, someone must be funding the care home placement.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your dad. I think next step is find GP, make phone appointment, speak to them about medication, get confirmation of memory team or GP prescribing care (who prescribes medication, have the care home been giving it etc) then you may have some answers or an opportunity to ask questions on the brain bleed etc too.

Ahhh thank you so much for your reply. Sometimes I think one just needs to step back and ask someone else. I will contact the care home and call the GP surgery. I’m still trying to be understanding about it all as Covid has changed a lot of processes and the fact he is between two boroughs is causing a lot of the problems. Great advice, thank you. Xx

 

[Weasell]

The important thing would be that whatever doctors surgery has been changed to has a BR1 BR2 Etc postcode.
It is not the postcode of the property he is residing in, it is the postcode of the GP.
The postcode is absolutely vital as to who and how the care will be provided.
Do you have power of attorney?
I would be tempted to turn up at the care home with some money for his ’small purchases’ a big friendly smile on my face, so they can see it over my mask! and see if I could use that outing to gain more information? Most likely a waste of time
( almost certainly a waste of time ) but I would do it anyway.

 

[canary]

I had a generic email from the care home yesterday asking about “Residence Finance”. I told them I didn’t know what that was and they briefly explained it’s for cab fares, chiropodists etc.

In addition to the excellent advice above (especially from @imthedaughter ) I just thought I was address this as it hasnt been covered.

This is standard in care homes and as the CH explained, its to cover things that are considered "extras" and not covered by care home fees - chiropodist/podiatrist, hairdresser, newspapers etc delivery, outings, etc. There are two usual methods of payment to the care home. The one used by my mums care home was a "float" - you paid money in advance and the care home paid for the extras out of this float. They would send me a record of what the money had been spent on and I would top it up when it got a bit low. The one used by the CH that OH had respite in would pay out for the "extras" and then send out a bill at the end of every month. The manager of your mums CH will know how it works, although other staff may not.

 

[imthedaughter]

In addition to the excellent advice above (especially from @imthedaughter ) I just thought I was address this as it hasnt been covered.

This is standard in care homes and as the CH explained, its to cover things that are considered "extras" and not covered by care home fees - chiropodist/podiatrist, hairdresser, newspapers etc delivery, outings, etc. There are two usual methods of payment to the care home. The one used by my mums care home was a "float" - you paid money in advance and the care home paid for the extras out of this float. They would send me a record of what the money had been spent on and I would top it up when it got a bit low. The one used by the CH that OH had respite in would pay out for the "extras" and then send out a bill at the end of every month. The manager of your mums CH will know how it works, although other staff may not.

Thanks I did mean to add that! Yes we have a 'float' for dad as well. Sometimes people pay a regular personal allowance into it but dad doesn't really need it so I get the Care manager to text me if he needs a top up.
Let us know how you get on!