Both parents have dementia

[Lizzie12]

Mum who is 78 was diagnosed with Alzheimer`s 4 years ago, Dad who is 77 suddenly became confused a year ago - diagnosis is Vascular dementia.
My only sibling lives in another country so everything is down to me. I work full time and have a young child and am not sure how long I can survive. We pay for a carer to be with them for some hours each day and I spend every weekend with them. Trying really hard to keep them in their own home. Hard not to get depressed as everyday there is something to deal with.

 

[Dustycat]

I sympathise. Both my psrents had dementia. Dad is Alzheimers and Mum's was vascular. I am an only child so in a similar situation to yourself. I semi retired to help cope with the situation. I have just lost my mum and one thing it taught me was to appreciate quality time with them. You can never get it back. My mum died quite suddenly and I am so grateful for the time I had with her. But your situation is tough. I often used to wonder what I had done to deserve both parents having this dreadful disease but I guess we are just unlucky. Hang in there. Take care. Xx

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[garnuft]

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you worrying about both of them.

Do Social Services know about your Mum and Dad's issues?

Perhaps you should think about the carers coming in to help them at the weekend too?

It's not fair on your child for every weekend to be taken up with the care for his/her grandparents.

I hope you can find a way to lift yourself out of the crater you're trapped in.

Logical/painful thoughts from one who hated the idea of them herself. x

 

[Lindy50]

Hi lizzie and welcome to TP

I am full of admiration for you, working every day of the week either at work or at your parents' home. I do wonder, what does your child do at the weekends? You don't mention anything about this so I wonder. In any case, he / she must be missing their mum at some vital times in their formative years....

I wonder whether your parents have had a community care assessment, or you a Carers assessment? It sounds as though you and your parents may need more help. Can you go on as you are, realistically? Do you get any respite care?

Time for a full review of the situation, I'd say Could you contact your local adult social care or social work department and ask for an assessment?

I wish you all the best Keep posting

Lindy xx