Both parents diagnosed with Alzheimer's

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
955
Hi, I was wondering if anyone else has experience of both parents being diagnosed with Alzheimer's and can offer any advice or share experiences. They are currently both still living at home.
 

Mannie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
116
Bracknell area
Hi, I was wondering if anyone else has experience of both parents being diagnosed with Alzheimer's and can offer any advice or share experiences. They are currently both still living at home.
Yes me !

My parents live at home with a live in carer. I will send more soon. Feeling tired after work !!
 

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
955
Yes me !

My parents live at home with a live in carer. I will send more soon. Feeling tired after work !!
Thanks for replying. It's a comfort to know we are not alone, though equally sorry to hear. Look forward to hearing from you.
 

Mrsbusy

Registered User
Aug 15, 2015
356
Yes me too! Mum diagnosed with vascular and dad ignoring it and swears he's 100% but we all know he's not. My main bit of advice is be aware that each type of dementia is different, but more importantly two people even with the same type experience the whole thing differently. My mum is more reliant on people and acknowledges that. My Dad is Mr Macho and tries to pretend he knew things he didn't and won't take responsibility for anything.

My mum is never hungry and arguments about eating are common. My Dad has never been so heavy in his life and obsesses with food, sweeter the better and sometimes the more rubbishy the better.

Both badly organised but Dad has an ability to confuse issues easily and thus then stresses mum out. Seems to try and prove to the world his brain is working and he's coping. He's not but its my mum who suffers because of his demand that he's right in everything.

My dad tries to box things for the fridge and likes it labelled? My mum is now unable to recognise things a lot of the time, can't read and see well so can never find anything in the fridge.

I do sometimes think it would be easier with one or the other but both us such hard work as they undermine each other, argue and then confuse each other!

So good luck, and let us know how it goes for you.
 

TrixieB

Registered User
Jul 2, 2015
20
Same here

Hi there. Both my parents are affected too - mum with Alzheimer's and dad with vascular dementia. Mum went to CH last year after several hospital admissions and basically stopped caring for herself. She denies any problems to this day and is desperate to go home. Dad remained at home on his own but gradually went downhill regarding caring for himself/eating etc and was very lonely. We had carers in, but like mum previously, he wouldn't let them do anything, relying on me to cover all his needs. Eventually, I begged him to go for a couple of weeks respite in the same CH to give me a break, and he enjoyed it so much that he stayed! Mum will never settle, but they are both well cared for and safe. I sympathise with your situation - one is horrible enough, but two are a nightmare. Make sure that you look after yourself too.
 

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
955
Yes me too! Mum diagnosed with vascular and dad ignoring it and swears he's 100% but we all know he's not. My main bit of advice is be aware that each type of dementia is different, but more importantly two people even with the same type experience the whole thing differently. My mum is more reliant on people and acknowledges that. My Dad is Mr Macho and tries to pretend he knew things he didn't and won't take responsibility for anything.

My mum is never hungry and arguments about eating are common. My Dad has never been so heavy in his life and obsesses with food, sweeter the better and sometimes the more rubbishy the better.

Both badly organised but Dad has an ability to confuse issues easily and thus then stresses mum out. Seems to try and prove to the world his brain is working and he's coping. He's not but its my mum who suffers because of his demand that he's right in everything.

My dad tries to box things for the fridge and likes it labelled? My mum is now unable to recognise things a lot of the time, can't read and see well so can never find anything in the fridge.

I do sometimes think it would be easier with one or the other but both us such hard work as they undermine each other, argue and then confuse each other!

So good luck, and let us know how it goes for you.
Some similar aspects to our situation. Dad in denial and won't fully knowledge what's going on. We have started getting carers in for Mum, although he's been reluctant to accept, although needs help himself as communication skills impaired. Mum has started to wander and last time neither was able to recall my details. They still live at home and I live close by. I find it difficult feeling I am 'on call' waiting for the next crisis to happen!
 

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
955
Hi there. Both my parents are affected too - mum with Alzheimer's and dad with vascular dementia. Mum went to CH last year after several hospital admissions and basically stopped caring for herself. She denies any problems to this day and is desperate to go home. Dad remained at home on his own but gradually went downhill regarding caring for himself/eating etc and was very lonely. We had carers in, but like mum previously, he wouldn't let them do anything, relying on me to cover all his needs. Eventually, I begged him to go for a couple of weeks respite in the same CH to give me a break, and he enjoyed it so much that he stayed! Mum will never settle, but they are both well cared for and safe. I sympathise with your situation - one is horrible enough, but two are a nightmare. Make sure that you look after yourself too.
Thank you! Our aim at present is to keep them together at home for as long as possible but that does seem fragile at times. Without Dad, Mum would not function, and although we have some help going in we are now in a position of needing to increase it, as Mum not looking after herself and Dad not filling the gaps (and with his own needs). I try to focus on each day whilst having an eye on what the future care needs might be. Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming trying to look after your own family/life and organise that of your parents!
 

Mannie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
116
Bracknell area
Thank you! Our aim at present is to keep them together at home for as long as possible but that does seem fragile at times. Without Dad, Mum would not function, and although we have some help going in we are now in a position of needing to increase it, as Mum not looking after herself and Dad not filling the gaps (and with his own needs). I try to focus on each day whilst having an eye on what the future care needs might be. Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming trying to look after your own family/life and organise that of your parents!

Sorry I lost your thread that is why I didn't respond until now . I hope to post more soon.
 

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
955
Thanks

Thanks Mannie and others for your comments. We have now arranged daily care visits for Mum which is helping although Dad a bit bemused and insistent he is able to do it all. Would be great to hear how you are all managing.