1. Johnsy1

    Johnsy1 Registered User

    Feb 12, 2015
    Had problems with mums bizarre behaviour recently. She lives at home alone still although is moderate to severe dementia, with 4 carers a day and me visiting 3-4 times a day (as well as working full time). She had a heart attack a couple of months ago and now has moderate to severe heart failure. Mum is very strong willed and even at this severe stage says there is nothing wrong with her. The only person she knows now is me. She has mixed dementia but for the past month or so her behaviour had got really bad. She is aggressive and angry all the time, obsessed with me to the point that as soon as I leave she turns verbally aggressive towards, swearing and calling me and her eyes are piercing, and so evil and vindictive when she stares at me.

    She has tried Risperidone but had a reaction to it, Citalopram in the past and has now been put on Lorazepam small dose day and night. The last week and a half has been horrendous. Mum has started wandering out of the house in the day looking for me. Getting out of bed at night and standing at the front gate drawing attention to herself which makes her vulnerable. I have been called over at night by neighbours on 4 occasions and following a visit from the memory clinic on Tuesday was advised respite. Unfortunately, ,mum will not go without me being there and care homes when assess say they cannot deal with her behaviour at this minute in time. Friday everything came to a head. I slept there Thursday night as she had wandered during the day, was mega agitated and aggressive towards me and was unsafe to be left alone. Urine samples not revealed any infection. Care home came out to assess for admit for respite and felt there was something wrong and she needed admission to specialised unit for assessment. Following this mum was sectioned on section 2 (the most awful experience with 2 doctors and social worker coming to her house) to an Mental Health Unit (over 65`s) for assessment. Has anyone else encountered this and is a mental health unit the right place??

    Sorry the post is so long.
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    There are quite a few posts & threads on here about it being a good thing as they're being fully monitored & assessed to find the right medication & care home placement.
  3. dora

    dora Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    Deja vu

    I'm so sorry you've had to go through this Johnsy. It sounds like you've tried everything - carers, medication etc, but things have now got beyond this.

    This situation is pretty much exactly what happened to my MIL.

    The reality is that with a strong-willed person in total denial, who is a danger to herself, and refuses to go into care, this is the only course possible.

    Before the sectioning my MIL was distressed, confused, anxious, demanding, disorientated, malnourished and agressive.
    After 2 weeks in the unit, when she had been given appropriate medication, they suggested we look for a care home and she was transferred 2 weeks later.
    Once in the care home she was calm, happy, well-fed and cared-for.

    I hope your mum has a similarly happy outcome.

    One thing you could do now is start looking at suitable care homes.

    Look after yourself
  4. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    It can get better

    I suffered about a year and a half of verbal abuse from my mother, exactly as you describe. She refused help from carers coming in 3 times a day and would not eat the food they made or allow them to help her wash. She would not get out of bed and eventually ended up in hospital twice. She did not go home after the second hospital stay as I refused to take her back and she is now in a care home.

    The reason I refused is simple. In hospital with regular liquids, food and her medication taken she was happy and actually a nice person. The abuse completely stopped. I keep waiting for the bubble to burst and for her to get nasty again but 9 months later all is calm.

    I feel no guilt anymore as I know this was a decision for the best. I hope you can get a better resolution too. Its your turn to be the parent now. Find a way to get her out of her house and assessed for full time care. We all have your back. Love Quilty

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