Best way to deal with hallucinations of other people.

[Jingo27]

My father in law has vascular dementia, and for at least 6 months now has been talking about the other people in his house (he lives alone). There are several children who hide and move things, and mess with his hose in the garden, and a man who he thinks is the boss of the house - who moves things around, who takes things, and who sleeps in his bed. Whenever something needs doing around the house, he says he will have a word with the man and get him to sort it.

We have covered up the mirrors in case it was his reflection causing the problem, but he sees him in rooms where there are no mirrors or reflective surfaces.

He is very concerned about offending this man, or doing things to annoy him. When he goes to bed he sleeps on the side of the bed so the man has plenty of room. He thinks his wardrobes are the man's wardrobes (even though I have put up signs with his name on), so he takes his clothes out and stuffs them into other drawers.

Today, he wants us to talk to the man with him. Previously, we have listened to his stories about the man and the children, and just nodded and made non-committal noises, then changed the subject, as recommended by others on this forum, and it works okay. We've never told him that they are all a figment of his imagination.

So how do we deal with it now? Should we tell him that we can't see the people, or should we just fob him off and say we'll talk to them later? The problem with that is that he gets irritated when things are constantly put off. He wants us to talk to him now because his hearing aids have gone missing, and he thinks the man has taken them.

Any advice very welcome!

 

[Jessbow]

My mum took great comfort from looking after the little girl with green hair ribbons that lived under the wash basin. We had endless conversations about her. She was great company.

If he doesnt see him as a threat, just go along with it

 

[Jingo27]

My mum took great comfort from looking after the little girl with green hair ribbons that lived under the wash basin. We had endless conversations about her. She was great company.

If he doesnt see him as a threat, just go along with it

Thanks. That's exactly how we feel normally, even though he tends to see them as a nuisance. But now he wants us to get involved and help him talk to the man about the missing hearing aids, and we're at a bit of a loss at how to respond.

He's very deferential to this invisible man and this man's needs. He thinks the house is run by the man and he doesn't do certain things because of upsetting the man. We have told him many times that it is his house, and he can do what he wants, go into any rooms and use all the cupboards and to ignore what the man wants. He gets annoyed that the man has the heating on and eats his food, but doesn't pay bills, or rent, or for the food - he has to pay for everyone living there!

 

[AliceA]

Why upset him? Perhaps these people help give him a framework to his life. Children have invisible friends.
Of course, they could be real, you just cannot see them
When my father was ill he drifted in to another existence, very real to him. It seemed to help him so that was the new reality for him.
Consciousness is an unknown territory, we know so little about it.
Find out what he wants you to say to the man. Perhaps say the man is looking for the hearing aids, he will let you know when he finds these. Good luck.
Have a chat with the GP in case it is medication or a low level infection.

 

[Jingo27]

Thanks, AliceA. We've gone along with this for 6 months now, but the man seems to be growing in importance in my father in laws eyes, so it's not quite the same as a child having an invisible friend who is a comfort to them - he feels he is ruled by the man, and has to do things (move his clothes out of the wardrobe for example) to please him. And he always hides things from the children and the man - for example, taking the tv remote upstairs to bed to stop them messing with it. It's as if he is a guest in their house.

We are wondering whether it would be a better idea to explain to him that it's his brain playing tricks on him and there are no other people in his house, but don't know whether he will accept this, or just pretend to accept it. But then he needs an explanation for why his things go missing all the time - obviously he's not hiding the things, lol. I know that generally the advice is not to say that he's imagining things, but we don't really want to start pretending that we see and talk to the man either. Or should we?

This disease is so difficult to deal with.

 

[Rosettastone57]

Thanks, AliceA. We've gone along with this for 6 months now, but the man seems to be growing in importance in my father in laws eyes, so it's not quite the same as a child having an invisible friend who is a comfort to them - he feels he is ruled by the man, and has to do things (move his clothes out of the wardrobe for example) to please him. And he always hides things from the children and the man - for example, taking the tv remote upstairs to bed to stop them messing with it. It's as if he is a guest in their house.

We are wondering whether it would be a better idea to explain to him that it's his brain playing tricks on him and there are no other people in his house, but don't know whether he will accept this, or just pretend to accept it. But then he needs an explanation for why his things go missing all the time - obviously he's not hiding the things, lol. I know that generally the advice is not to say that he's imagining things, but we don't really want to start pretending that we see and talk to the man either. Or should we?

This disease is so difficult to deal with.

My mother-in-law used to have hallucinations they varied from young man with the baby at the door just talking to her to people walking through the garden. But the most disturbing one was that she genuinely believed there was an unknown male in her house one night performing a sex act in front of her. This resulted in her pressing her pendant alarm who then called the police who then came round and realised that it was hallucinations. Strangely enough she did not seem particularly bothered about this unknown male. How we dealt with this was that we told her that the medication the GP had given her was
causing her some unpleasant hallucinations. At the time she appeared to accept this

 

[Jingo27]

My mother-in-law used to have hallucinations they varied from young man with the baby at the door just talking to her to people walking through the garden. But the most disturbing one was that she genuinely believed there was an unknown male in her house one night performing a sex act in front of her. This resulted in her pressing her pendant alarm who then called the police who then came round and realised that it was hallucinations. Strangely enough she did not seem particularly bothered about this unknown male. How we dealt with this was that we told her that the medication the GP had given her was
causing her some unpleasant hallucinations. At the time she appeared to accept this

Thanks. It's so difficult to understand these hallucinations. At first we thought it was his reflection in the mirror (we took him clothes shopping, and when he was home he told us that the man had bought exactly the same clothes that he'd just bought, and had held them up to show him!), but the mirrors are covered now, and he still sees him all around the house.

He is quite cautious about medication, so if we told him it was the medication he would refuse to take his tablets again (for hypertension), otherwise that would be worth a try.

 

[karaokePete]

My wife has a significant vascular element to her dementia, along with Alzheimer's and she also hallucinates people and animals. Memantine was prescribed for my wife and it reduced the hallucinations.

Memantine is an Alzheimer's drug but it may be worth discussing the hallucinations and the medication with the GP or Memory Clinic to see if they have any experience of it.

Like the others, I just go along with the hallucinations, after checking that my wife isn't worried about anything - in case they are a manifestation of some ailment or worry.

Sometimes the reason can be abstract, like the time we had a 'burglar in the attic' and it turned out to be seagulls walking on the roof.

 

[Jingo27]

My wife has a significant vascular element to her dementia, along with Alzheimer's and she also hallucinates people and animals. Memantine was prescribed for my wife and it reduced the hallucinations.

Memantine is an Alzheimer's drug but it may be worth discussing the hallucinations and the medication with the GP or Memory Clinic to see if they have any experience of it.

Like the others, I just go along with the hallucinations, after checking that my wife isn't worried about anything - in case they are a manifestation of some ailment or worry.

Sometimes the reason can be abstract, like the time we had a 'burglar in the attic' and it turned out to be seagulls walking on the roof.

Thanks Pete

He has tried drugs (Donepezil) but it made him significantly worse in all behaviours, so we stopped giving them to him. We're a bit wary of trying a different one in case it has similar effects.

Most of the time we can deal with his hallucinations by just listening to him and then distraction, but now he wants us to talk and interact with them when he's there. It's hard to know what to do.

 

[Spamar]

OH, with mixed, vascular and Alzheimer’s, dementia also had memantine, which sorted his hallucinations. Think you need GP on board.

 

[Jingo27]

OH, with mixed, vascular and Alzheimer’s, dementia also had memantine, which sorted his hallucinations. Think you need GP on board.

Thanks, it might be worth a try then. Does it stop hallucinations altogether? His GP knows all about the hallucinations, and prescribed Donapezil, and melatonin for sleeping issues.

 

[Spamar]

OH had no sleep problems at any time, too much sleep maybe! He also had delusions and they both stopped around the same time, after he started taking memantine. Yes, they did disappear. He was pretty late stage by then, don’t know if that makes any difference.
Problem is, everyone is different. Some people can take, for instance, donepezil, with no side effects, others can’t. He was OK!

 

[Jingo27]

OH had no sleep problems at any time, too much sleep maybe! He also had delusions and they both stopped around the same time, after he started taking memantine. Yes, they did disappear. He was pretty late stage by then, don’t know if that makes any difference.
Problem is, everyone is different. Some people can take, for instance, donepezil, with no side effects, others can’t. He was OK!

Thanks Spamar. It will be worth talking to the GP about that drug in place of donepezil.

 

[Spamar]

He had donepezil from diagnosis to about 4 months before he died (9 years), as well as the memantine for the last few years.

 

[Wombles]

My gran has Vascular Dementia and will often see people or talk to people who are not there. We tend to try and distract her away to another conversation or just go a long with it. As long as they are not distressed by what they are seeing.
I think it would upset her more to tell her she is wrong.
Dementia has so many aspects to it and the hallucinations was the one part I have been most surprised by and something I never expected.

 

[elisebean23]

Hi, it's a tricky one I think, especially without knowing your father in law as everyone reacts so differently. My father has dementia with Lewy bodies and he has had a similar hallucination, which sadly ended up with the "man" becoming scary to him. We adjusted how we reacted according to my Dad's reactions - at first we ignored, and distracted him which worked very well for a couple of years, and then as it became harder for him, we began to explain to him it was his "dementia". From talking to different health professionals they have different approaches, and there is no a right or wrong way per se. As things developed, my Dad largely understood it was his dementia and it helped him - the best bit of advice I can give is speak to his GP and dementia specialist. In my experience they were incredibly helpful as they knew my father well and gave brilliant advice - and remember there is no right or wrong. We are all doing what we can out of love