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Before I leave

steffie60

Registered User
Jan 22, 2013
232
Hampshire
I posted to tell you that my Mum died on 3 April, 2014
Her funeral on the 17th went much as to be expected. One sister turned her back on me when I tried to speak to her, she was late arriving after the coffin and there was no floral tribute. The other sister is speaking to me but it is still a very tense conversation. Both sisters have been part of the "invisibles" group until yesterday when the one who is speaking to me came with a van and her husband and removed as many of mum's belongings that they could get in the van. I really didn't want anything that had belonged to my mother, I have no children therefore it makes sense to pass all on to members of the family but they phoned at 9.20 to say they would hire a van and were here by 11.00 a.m. it all happened in such a rush it has left a bad taste! So in just a couple of days I go to the solicitor to sign the necessary papers for Probate and hopefully in just the month I will finish with the whole sad and sorry saga of a lovely Mum who had dementia and in the process tore our whole family apart. I grieve not just for Mum but the loss of two sisters also.

I am signing off now dear TP forum and thank you all for all the kind help over the last few years and ask that the moderator will remove me from the forum say in about a week please. I am hoping to get a little holiday to help me breathe and say goodbye quietly to my mum.
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
Southampton
So sad for you to have had little support from sisters, As an only child I felt sad that I had no siblings to share anecdotes and sorting out my dear Mum's belongings etc after her recent death but at least I had no stress from others.
best wishes,
and sympathy,
Eliz.
 

Merrymaid

Registered User
Feb 21, 2014
304
So sorry for your loss of Mum and now your distanced siblings. I do hope you are able to rebuild relationships in time if this is what you wish.

I fear I too have lost my two brothers as a consequence of this awful illness and their lack of co-operation & understanding.

Take care of your self now, be gentle to yourself as you adjust, best wishes xx
 

Katrine

Registered User
Jan 20, 2011
2,839
England
Dear Steffie, I went to half a dozen AA meetings last year that really set me on the right track, but I didn't then want to keep attending and focusing on issues of addiction. However, I know that I can go to a meeting any time, anywhere, and will be among friends. Knowing that I have this support gives me continued strength; I am not alone, there are people out there who understand and care. I hope that you will continue to draw strength and comfort from TP without actively needing to visit the forum. You will remain our friend. Katrine x
 

juniepoonie

Registered User
Jun 11, 2013
727
essex
arh that's very sad! when I lost my mum I had my sister an brother an it brought us closer when mum went as we clung together for support. now my sister is terminal an I will soon loose her too. it breaks my heart. im sad for you an your sisters. you take care .juniepoonie xx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,662
Kent
I'm so sorry you had no siblings to share the loss of your mother, steffie.

I hope you will now be able to go forward knowing you did all you could to help you mother throughout her illness.

Thank you for updating us and please do not hesitate to return should the need arise. We will still be here.
 

bilslin

Registered User
Jan 17, 2014
762
hertforshire
So sorry selfie that your mums passed, she's at peace now and I hope you will find some now too. Its sad that you've lost your sisters too. Take care lindaxx
 

krissymc

Registered User
Sep 24, 2012
75
So sad for you to have had little support from sisters, As an only child I felt sad that I had no siblings to share anecdotes and sorting out my dear Mum's belongings etc after her recent death but at least I had no stress from others.
best wishes,
and sympathy,
Eliz.
like you elizabet I am an only child and often wished I had siblings to share the problems that we had when my mum died, although I had my husband and 2 sons to support me. I thought often I will leave this group but I always log on everyday and I think it is helping me in the grieving process although I usually end up in tears.
 

kingmidas1962

Registered User
Jun 10, 2012
3,537
South Gloucs
Hello Steffie,

I'm so sorry to hear that things are difficult following your mums death and that so much is left unresolved.

I hope that you will now have time to grieve, heal and find some peace within.

...but if you decide not to leave, or ever wish to return you know you'll be welcomed with open arms!