Hello. I have posted here in the past about my mother. Mum died in January so that long sad story has ended. Thank you so much for all your kindness and practical advice over the years. It has meant so much to me to know that I was not alone.
I have now become involved in caring (long distance) for my husband's very elderly aunts who live together, one of whom has dementia and OCD, and is basically in a codependent and psychologically abusive relationship with her younger sister. It is the older one with dementia who is dominant and controlling, the younger one is submissive, frail, and sometimes suicidal. Both have serious underlying health conditions.
My immediate question is practical. The older aunt (92) is now sort of recovered from a broken hip and keeps saying she wants to take her car out for a drive. While she was in hospital my husband disabled the battery but she has now got a garage mechanic out to repair it and take the care away to the MOT. The car passed and she is all set to drive it. She does remember that everyone keeps telling her she shouldn't drive but she wants to anyway.
Of course if she wants to risk her own life by driving in a sense, there is not much we can do about it from a distance. But our concern is that she will kill someone else. When we talked to her doctors pre lockdown they said that they did not like to intervene to remove the licence as it tends to damage the patient's relationship with their doctor. The older aunt does not have an official diagnosis of dementia and presents well to others at first encounter so she is might well fail to be diagnosed.
Is there anything more we can do to get her licence removed? I am afraid that any more subtle measures (hiding keys, disabling starter motor etc.) won't work even if we can get to the house because older aunt is very "clever" and manipulative and will simply keep calling garages until the car is fixed (she called 20 tradesmen yesterday until she found one who was willing to come out and perform an emergency repair to her rotary washing line).
I would welcome any advice.
ChloeE
I have now become involved in caring (long distance) for my husband's very elderly aunts who live together, one of whom has dementia and OCD, and is basically in a codependent and psychologically abusive relationship with her younger sister. It is the older one with dementia who is dominant and controlling, the younger one is submissive, frail, and sometimes suicidal. Both have serious underlying health conditions.
My immediate question is practical. The older aunt (92) is now sort of recovered from a broken hip and keeps saying she wants to take her car out for a drive. While she was in hospital my husband disabled the battery but she has now got a garage mechanic out to repair it and take the care away to the MOT. The car passed and she is all set to drive it. She does remember that everyone keeps telling her she shouldn't drive but she wants to anyway.
Of course if she wants to risk her own life by driving in a sense, there is not much we can do about it from a distance. But our concern is that she will kill someone else. When we talked to her doctors pre lockdown they said that they did not like to intervene to remove the licence as it tends to damage the patient's relationship with their doctor. The older aunt does not have an official diagnosis of dementia and presents well to others at first encounter so she is might well fail to be diagnosed.
Is there anything more we can do to get her licence removed? I am afraid that any more subtle measures (hiding keys, disabling starter motor etc.) won't work even if we can get to the house because older aunt is very "clever" and manipulative and will simply keep calling garages until the car is fixed (she called 20 tradesmen yesterday until she found one who was willing to come out and perform an emergency repair to her rotary washing line).
I would welcome any advice.
ChloeE
