I care for my Mum who is in her early 80's, the thing is a family member would like to see put into a care home as they feel that they are not getting enough of my undivided attention and hardly see me anymore. I can't do everything and look after everyone I find this very difficult to handle at times and I am lost for words. What do I say how do I handle it. It is my choice to look after her, I do this without moaning and trust me it is strain and will only get harder I know.
Members of my family want mum in a care home?
- Thread starter Actionman
- Start date
Hello @Actionman
The family member who wants to see your mum in a home, doesn`t seem to be thinking what`s best for your mum but what`s best for them.
This family member is being quite selfish. If you wish to care for your mum it is, as you say your choice.
You do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
What do you owe this family member? Probably nothing.
The family member who wants to see your mum in a home, doesn`t seem to be thinking what`s best for your mum but what`s best for them.
This family member is being quite selfish. If you wish to care for your mum it is, as you say your choice.
You do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
What do you owe this family member? Probably nothing.
Hello @Actionwoman
The family member who wants to see your mum in a home, doesn`t seem to be thinking what`s best for your mum but what`s best for them.
This family member is being quite selfish. If you wish to care for your mum it is, as you say your choice.
You do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
What do you owe this family member? Probably nothing.
The family member who wants to see your mum in a home, doesn`t seem to be thinking what`s best for your mum but what`s best for them.
This family member is being quite selfish. If you wish to care for your mum it is, as you say your choice.
You do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
What do you owe this family member? Probably nothing.
If this is your wife or partner complaining about you not spending much time with them then maybe you need to get carers in to help with your Mum to allow you a little more freedom?
Much depends on who this relation is and why they want the undivided attention.
If it's a very close relation i.e. son or daughter, that needs your attention due to pregnancy or illness, then they're justified. I will add, that as a child of a carer, we miss that relationship with our parent. We try to understand but at times, we tend to resent that person that sucks the life out of our mother/father.
If it's your partner that's objecting then you have a choice, Mum or your relationship.
Anyone else, then it's none of their business.
Yes I’m also wondering what the relationship is to the family member because that does make a difference. If it’s a sibling or cousin etc then the could chip in and help not demand your time. A spouse/partner might feel very left out and if that relationship breaks down would you mind?
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