at my wits end and dont know where to turn

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by topaz70, Apr 17, 2015.

  1. topaz70

    topaz70 Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    9
    Hi My mum was diagnosed with alzheimers about 18 months ago. Told me things could be ok for a few years. I have seen a deteriation in mum since January. Took her back to the clinic and they said there was only a slight difference from a year ago. Really? the last 24 hours i think i have been to hell and back. Mum has done a runner 3 times, been nasty and swearing at me and my dad. Says she wants to commit suicide and be with her son. she even raised her fist to me tonight which mum has never done. Had to involve the police tonight as she walked for miles very distressed with me following her and even stood near a cliff top edge and went to climb over a wall to jump in to the sea to drown. How do i help her? how do i stay in control? Who do i ask for help from? And am i going mad myself in thinking shes getting worse?

    Any advice would be great, im at my wits end and feel im failing my mum :(
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    My first thought would be infection: a UTI quite possibly but any kind of infection can cause this sort of downturn. Alternatively, constipation can do the same thing.

    You need to get her checked by her GP pronto.
     
  3. topaz70

    topaz70 Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    9
    Hi and thank you for replying. The police called for a ambulance tonight they run some tests and said all was good.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    I would want to know what tests. Because frankly, blood and urine tests take time and if this all happened this evening I simply don't believe the results would be back at this point. They might have done a basic urine dip test but that's not always accurate.
     
  5. topaz70

    topaz70 Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    9
    No just basic test in the ambulance, temperture, blood pressure and sugar levels is all they done tonight
     
  6. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    None of that would tell if she had a UTI.. Older people can have quite major infections without, for example, a high temperature. Please I urge you to get her to her GP tomorrow.
     
  7. topaz70

    topaz70 Registered User

    Feb 16, 2015
    9
    I will call 1st thing and thank you
     
  8. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,239
    Cotswolds
    Just to say I agree with Jennifer, topaz, do get your mum seen urgently by her GP

    Sending you best wishes :)

    Lindy xx
     
  9. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    I hope you managed to get a GP appointment
     
  10. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Just to add (and I'm sure it's stating the obvious but in the stress of the moment...) make sure you tell the GP what has been happening. They are often the portal for increased help.
     
  11. jimbosmith

    jimbosmith Registered User

    May 10, 2013
    77
    Got to agree with the UTI and constipation advice.

    I have been giving my mum 200ml of Cranberry Juice a day.

    She is also taking up to 30ml of lactulose a day to help with her constipation.

    Get the doctor involved but if you are struggling over the weekend or until you can get in, you can get these from the shop today.
     

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