Some people think the seven stages as described by the Alz Soc are not useful and look at other ways of charting progress/ deterioration of dementia. My own feeling is that I can see a chart for my own behaviour/reaction just as clearly as I can see one for dementia and wonder if it is the same for all. I do consult these stages to see where we are. Pre diagnosis: my husband's decision making and judgement baffled me and did a lot of harm to our relationship even though he seemed untouched by any concern. I lost some respect for him and have struggled to recover that . Diagnosis: when I told him that there were drugs which could slow down the rate of memory loss he was keen to go to the GP. This was more like the trust and cooperation which was our normal relationship. Memory clinic, blood tests, brain scans etc and a diagnosis of AD. I threw myself into finding out everything I could and a year of frenzied activity followed with walking, swimming, theatres, Alz groups, holidays. I thought I had cracked it and could keep this illness at bay. I was wrong. Post diagnosis: after 18 months the deterioration began to overwhelm me with constant repetition of obsessions and delusions. Other commitments built up and I had no reserves of energy and time to deal with them. The following twelve months have at times brought me to a new low. Mid stage: John is a definite stage 5 now on the Alz scale with elements of six thrown in especially extreme wandering. He is otherwise healthy and happy but very restless. Medication is geared to calming this down and getting sleep and works well most of the time. Our relationship is very much carer and cared for but I have a much better understanding of why things went so wrong at an earlier stage and that it was largely out of his control. I don't know what the next years will bring but I feel better prepared with knowledge and at the same time less prepared as time and age eat away at ability to tackle the demands and unpredictability of this illness.