I slapped my mum when she was at home. She was kicking off and I mean kicking off, tried to strangle me 3 times, I had to restrain her on the sofa with her still kicking out at me, she was shouting, pushing and shoving.
She got so irate at one point she slapped me straight across the face. My knee jerk reaction, well, I slapped her on the shoulder. It didnt stop her though, her mouth carried on running away with her.
That day she was admitted to a psychiatric assesemt unit and from there into a home. My dad god bless him was being hit on a daily basis, with brushes and TV zappers, anything she could get her hands on. He never once raised his hand, I on the other hand in his shoes would have grabbed the zapper or the hairbrush and whacked her back with it!
We all have our breaking points, we all have very different personalities and levels as to what we can take. Whilst you and I both know, slapping our loved ones is wrong BUT! It is a knee jerk reaction. Sometimes it can't be helped. The life of a carer is a bloody dofficult one, please don't give yourself too hard a time, yes it was wrong but you realise that. There are as mentioned above numbers to call for duty social workers, you could even ask an on call GP to contact the Mental Health Crisis Team on your behalf.
Maybe you could get your wife into emergency respite? Or maybe it's time to let go, do what my dad did and admit that your wife just needs looking after and set the ball in motion to finding a place in a care home. Your post really is a cry for help and by your own admission you didn't want the respite to come to an end. We all have our breaking points and it takes a strong person to admit they've reached theirs. I personally think you are there.
As always just my thoughts, please don't take offence at my CH suggestion. You must not only take care of your wife but yourself also. Don't get the iron out, have a cuppa and jump into bed. Tomorrow is a new day.
Take care
Sharon