Hi everyone. Thank you Bruce and Deedee for your replies to my last post. Went down to visit mum at the weekend. One of the things I find most worrying is the fact that she seems to have no interest in doing anything at all. She sits. or rather lies, in the adjustable chair dad brought her (which we think is a kind of 'safety zone' as she seems most relaxed there). She doesn't watch tv, listen to radio or anything. Everything we suggest is dismissed, and as her eyesight is deteriorating it is hard to think of things she could do. Has anyone come across this before? I have read that this can happen with Alzheimers but I thought it was much later in the illness. She says she's quite happy lying there but I know she gets very lonely as anyone would after losing their life partner. The shaking that I mentioned in my last post we think may be down to anxiety as sometimes it is non-existent but if anything vaguely stressful crops up it becomes very pronounced (for example one evening the lady from social services was very late and she got very agitated and my brother had to go round and try to calm her down.) I do wish we lived nearer, as I work weekends I can only get down very occasionally. my other problem is that as she can no longer tolerate the children around, gets very upset and agitated if they're noisy or arguing( which unfortunately they do a lot!! ) so I have to leave my family to go and see her which means I don't get to see very much of them. Anyway, if anyone has any advice they can give regarding any of the above, I would love the hear from you. Mum is 73.
Any ideas please
- Thread starter Rachel
- Start date
As the illness developed, Jan couldn't watch TV either and would get agitated when it was on, so we both entered a TV-free zone for many months.
Perhaps this is due to the brain being unable to follow what is going on, perhaps the eye problems start earlier than we realise, perhaps the people are desperately trying to figure out what has happened to the world around them.
Jan was very sensitive to noise and lots of people. It must take so much energy on the one part to concentrate on just one person at a time, and on the other to be able to syphon out the speech of this person from the noise of that one. It may be that if you take the children and they understand they need to be restrained in terms of noise, then your Mum could take that better.
You may have to accept sooner than you would wish that your Mum is best just sitting in her chair, doing nothing. My view is that Alzheimer's patients have no ability [or reason] to hide their feelings, so if she does not seem unhappy, just accept that she is ok. What is normal to her may not be normal to us, but she may be most comfortable like that.
I know that Jan hates people trying to bring her into activities; she is much happier trying to talk sensibly [which she does not appear to be able to do], on her hands and knees.
Treat the abnormal as normal!
Perhaps this is due to the brain being unable to follow what is going on, perhaps the eye problems start earlier than we realise, perhaps the people are desperately trying to figure out what has happened to the world around them.
Jan was very sensitive to noise and lots of people. It must take so much energy on the one part to concentrate on just one person at a time, and on the other to be able to syphon out the speech of this person from the noise of that one. It may be that if you take the children and they understand they need to be restrained in terms of noise, then your Mum could take that better.
You may have to accept sooner than you would wish that your Mum is best just sitting in her chair, doing nothing. My view is that Alzheimer's patients have no ability [or reason] to hide their feelings, so if she does not seem unhappy, just accept that she is ok. What is normal to her may not be normal to us, but she may be most comfortable like that.
I know that Jan hates people trying to bring her into activities; she is much happier trying to talk sensibly [which she does not appear to be able to do], on her hands and knees.
Treat the abnormal as normal!
Thanks Bruce
I think maybe you're right and perhaps we just need to accept this is the way things are. I suppose I'm looking at it from how I would feel just sitting doing nothing. As for the children being restrained, I wish!! As the distance means that we have to visit for at least a couple of days, it's hard to cope with mum and try to keep the kids amused - they're not bad kids but they do have the usual sibling arguments and they do like their tv!! The stairlift is a bit of a novelty though! Joking aside, it's probably best if I visit on my own, when I can.
You mention eye problems starting sooner than we realise - is this something a lot of AD sufferers have? Also would you expect this inactivity to be a feature of early AD or would you think it comes later on. Mum is supposedly showing early symptoms, but I sometimes think it might be more far on than the doctors think.
I think maybe you're right and perhaps we just need to accept this is the way things are. I suppose I'm looking at it from how I would feel just sitting doing nothing. As for the children being restrained, I wish!! As the distance means that we have to visit for at least a couple of days, it's hard to cope with mum and try to keep the kids amused - they're not bad kids but they do have the usual sibling arguments and they do like their tv!! The stairlift is a bit of a novelty though! Joking aside, it's probably best if I visit on my own, when I can.
You mention eye problems starting sooner than we realise - is this something a lot of AD sufferers have? Also would you expect this inactivity to be a feature of early AD or would you think it comes later on. Mum is supposedly showing early symptoms, but I sometimes think it might be more far on than the doctors think.
