Another long night

[Skylark/2]

It’s me again folks.
Husband is in a good mood, I’m the grumpy one!
Yesterday evening we were both in bed by 7.15 p.m. I had said I wanted to see a programme that came on t.v at 8 p.m. Husband said good idea, I thought he was going to watch with me but no, he expected me to join him in bed! In a bid to avoid an argument I gave up the idea of watching the programme.
He is now up and about, dressed, light on, using hairdryer to warm his shirt before putting it on! Knocked over the bedside light, chatting away happily………whilst I lay here thinking, I’m now awake, forget about sleep another long night. Increasingly he wants to go to bed earlier and earlier, starts making preparations at about 6 p.m, Think I may as well get up.!!

 

[Skylark/2]

My previous post is a bit disjointed but I am so tired, apologies. Have given up trying to get husband to go back to sleep and have got up. Is he sundowning now? I am turning into an insomniac!

 

[Kath610]

My previous post is a bit disjointed but I am so tired, apologies. Have given up trying to get husband to go back to sleep and have got up. Is he sundowning now? I am turning into an insomniac!

Good morning @Skylark/2 , I am in the same situation! Bogeyed after about 2 hours sleep.
My husband went to bed about 7 last night and I came up about 9. We don’t sleep in the same room anymore (thank goodness) but he woke me up at 11 having a shower and shave. I didn’t get back to sleep for ages then he woke me up again about 2:00 wandering about on the landing, going downstairs, switching the lights on in every room including mine and not switching them off again. Talking to himself all the time. When he finally went back to his bed I went round switching all the lights off and was thoroughly awake.
Then he had another shower at 4:15 this morning - I had just about drifted off when the noise of the water tank and the bathroom fan started up. Lights on again. After every shower he puts the same clothes back on, as he sleeps fully dressed and anything I say makes no difference - I’m just nagging.
He is now fast asleep - I am wide awake and will have to get up in an hour’s time to go and look after the grandchildren.
Happy days! (Not)

 

[SeaSwallow]

Oh dear @Skylark/2 I don’t have any answers for you but you cannot go on like this. You will have at some stage consider residential care for your husband before your own health breaks down.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Good morning @Skylark/2 , I am in the same situation! Bogeyed after about 2 hours sleep.
My husband went to bed about 7 last night and I came up about 9. We don’t sleep in the same room anymore (thank goodness) but he woke me up at 11 having a shower and shave. I didn’t get back to sleep for ages then he woke me up again about 2:00 wandering about on the landing, going downstairs, switching the lights on in every room including mine and not switching them off again. Talking to himself all the time. When he finally went back to his bed I went round switching all the lights off and was thoroughly awake.
Then he had another shower at 4:15 this morning - I had just about drifted off when the noise of the water tank and the bathroom fan started up. Lights on again. After every shower he puts the same clothes back on, as he sleeps fully dressed and anything I say makes no difference - I’m just nagging.
He is now fast asleep - I am wide awake and will have to get up in an hour’s time to go and look after the grandchildren.
Happy days! (Not)

Hello @Kath610 This must be so hard for you. Have you discussed the issue with your husband’s GP to see if they can recommend any medication. This sort of behaviour can be caused by anxiety.

 

[Kath610]

Hello @Kath610 This must be so hard for you. Have you discussed the issue with your husband’s GP to see if they can recommend any medication. This sort of behaviour can be caused by anxiety.

Thank you @SeaSwallow , I hadn’t thought of mentioning it to our GP. This is the same behaviour every night, often more than one shower, wandering and switching lights on.
I wouldn’t think it’s anxiety, but maybe. I will mention it

 

[Skylark/2]

I think

Good morning @Skylark/2 , I am in the same situation! Bogeyed after about 2 hours sleep.
My husband went to bed about 7 last night and I came up about 9. We don’t sleep in the same room anymore (thank goodness) but he woke me up at 11 having a shower and shave. I didn’t get back to sleep for ages then he woke me up again about 2:00 wandering about on the landing, going downstairs, switching the lights on in every room including mine and not switching them off again. Talking to himself all the time. When he finally went back to his bed I went round switching all the lights off and was thoroughly awake.
Then he had another shower at 4:15 this morning - I had just about drifted off when the noise of the water tank and the bathroom fan started up. Lights on again. After every shower he puts the same clothes back on, as he sleeps fully dressed and anything I say makes no difference - I’m just nagging.
He is now fast asleep - I am wide awake and will have to get up in an hour’s time to go and look after the grandchildren.
Happy days! (Not)

I think your husband and mine are twins!
They go to bed at the same time, leave lights on everywhere and sleeps in the same clothes! And of course according to him, I nag him all the timeHowever he’s not keen on personal hygiene these days! Getting him to shower is a battle.
We are both up and he is telling me he gets annoyed at the peevish people ( me ) telling him which way to lay in bed…..I ask him to give me space. I’ve tried sleeping in another room but he comes in switching on the lights, asking me what I’m doing.
At least I don’t have the responsibility of looking after grandchildren, I take my hat off to you, you must be dead on your feet.
He has a dental appt this morning, that should be good fun ( not ) getting him to take his denture out and do as the dentist asks. He‘ll need treatment as he won’t brush his teeth, thinks mouthwash will do. I’m not ready to take on the job of brushing his teeth for him!!

 

[Kath610]

I think

I think your husband and mine are twins!
They go to bed at the same time, leave lights on everywhere and sleeps in the same clothes! And of course according to him, I nag him all the timeHowever he’s not keen on personal hygiene these days! Getting him to shower is a battle.
We are both up and he is telling me he gets annoyed at the peevish people ( me ) telling him which way to lay in bed…..I ask him to give me space. I’ve tried sleeping in another room but he comes in switching on the lights, asking me what I’m doing.
At least I don’t have the responsibility of looking after grandchildren, I take my hat off to you, you must be dead on your feet.
He has a dental appt this morning, that should be good fun ( not ) getting him to take his denture out and do as the dentist asks. He‘ll need treatment as he won’t brush his teeth, thinks mouthwash will do. I’m not ready to take on the job of brushing his teeth for him!!

@Skylark/2 , okDefinitely twins! Like you, I'm not sure how much washing goes on when I hear the shower running though this morning I could smell MY best shower gel! Likewise with the teeth, he gets through loads of mouthwash but not much toothpaste. He is forever having shaves during the day too, several a day. I just wish he would wear clean clothes or at least clean underwear.
Looking after the grandchildren (a 6 year old and a toddler of 20 months) was quite a welcome break until my husband decided he wanted to come with me and set off walking the 3 miles to come and find me. Now I have an extra child to look after, but he does love playing with the trains and Megablocks, it keeps him occupied for ages while the baby plays with something else!

 

[Skylark/2]

Oh @Kath610 , I have started my day with a smile, reading your last post…..thank you.
My husband doesn’t shave, he has a very sparse beard because he keeps trimming and using the clippers…….it’s very patchy. He has a favourite shirt that is almost impossible to get off his back, very whiffy!
Maybe I’ll get a train set to occupy my 6 foot ’ toddler ‘

 

[Skylark/2]

Some things never change…Nothing to watch on t.v last night so suggest I try and find a film on Neflix. Found a film but with 15 minutes left, grumpy husband said he was going to bed as it was rubbish. Time was 8 p.m and I said I would watch last 15 mins and then come to bed. Off he went only to come back and start being abusive. Not wanting an argument, I turned everything off and joined him upstairs. Our bedtime is getting earlier, fine for him, not for me as he expects me to beready to come to bed too! He couldn’t sleep, got up at 1.30, husband woke up at 3 a.m, came looking for me and ready for an argument. Accusing me of all the usual rubbish, I’m spiteful, selfish, he’s going to sell ‘ his ‘ house and I made a world shattering mistake, we had run out of milk!! Am off to Tesco, to rectify my massive mistake, tired and fed up. On a serious note, how do I get out of having to go to bed at ridI ulously early times, just to keep the peace. I am not a toddler!

 

[Skylark/2]

Some things never change…Nothing to watch on t.v last night so suggest I try and find a film on Neflix. Found a film but with 15 minutes left, grumpy husband said he was going to bed as it was rubbish. Time was 8 p.m and I said I would watch last 15 mins and then come to bed. Off he went only to come back and start being abusive. Not wanting an argument, I turned everything off and joined him upstairs. Our bedtime is getting earlier, fine for him, not for me as he expects me to beready to come to bed too! He couldn’t sleep, got up at 1.30, husband woke up at 3 a.m, came looking for me and ready for an argument. Accusing me of all the usual rubbish, I’m spiteful, selfish, he’s going to sell ‘ his ‘ house and I made a world shattering mistake, we had run out of milk!! Am off to Tesco, to rectify my massive mistake, tired and fed up. On a serious note, how do I get out of having to go to bed at ridI ulously early times, just to keep the peace. I am not a toddler!

 

[Wifey1]

Sounds similar to my situation. I rarely get to watch what TV I would enjoy, and husband is ready for bed very early, sleeps till about 2 then wants to get dressed and up. Melatonin doesn't seem to help. So frustrating, would love to have a lie in!!!!