1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. lesley1958

    lesley1958 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2015
    107
    Bristol
    On Sunday night for the first time my dad could not recognise my mum, did not know he was married or had children.

    I know we are doing all we can but it is so hard. Especially for my mum after 60 years of marriage to be treated as a stranger.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    It`s one of the worst symptom of this illness in my opinion when the person with dementia no longer recognises family members and the spouse they have lived with for years.

    The only thing which helped me was trying to imagine how frightened I would feel if I was in the same position and believed I was surrounded by strangers.
     
  3. Babymare01

    Babymare01 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2015
    305
    Hello there

    I have to agree that this is worst symptom of this evil illness. My mother doesn't recognise me now and I rarely get a smile or acknowledgement from her. But I know my mother loved me so much and I hold that in my heart

    Big hugs xxxxx
     
  4. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    I was kind of expecting Mum to reach a stage where she forgot who I was, although I wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. Her recent mini-strokes and TIAs over the last couple of months have, unfortunately, brought things on apace. Luckily she still knows my Dad, who has Vascular Parkinsonism, and clucks over him all the time (sometimes he finds it a bit much!)

    I thought I'd be devastated when she first looked and me and said 'who are you?' but I was surprised how calm I was. Someone recently said to me 'Oh god I couldn't cope with that' but you do because you have to. And I've got it easy compared to many of the wonderful people on here.
     
  5. katek

    katek Registered User

    Jan 19, 2015
    191
    #5 katek, Apr 28, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2015
    It is hard, isn't it. Although we all know it's going to happen, it is still a shock when it does. With my dad (also after 60 years of marriage), it was some time ago now but I can still vividly recall my mum telling me about it. He had locked her out of the bedroom, sayng "you are not my wife". When she said, "I am! I am A...., your wife" he replied "No,you're not. A.....was my wife - I loved her but she was run over by a bus." He had probably not recognised her for some time, but that was the first confirmation. And as Grannie G says, must have been frightening for him, not recognising people.
     
  6. lesley1958

    lesley1958 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2015
    107
    Bristol
    So many lovely, supportive replies. No, nothing can take away the years of love we have all shared even if Dad can't remember that he shared them with us. I too have it easy compared to some of the amazing posters on here who leave me slack-jawed with amazement at their courage, patience and compassion.

    "You cope because you have to". Yes, absolutely.

    Love to everyone xxx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.