Hello @Grahamstown Trying to keep track of where your OH is using find my iPhone sounds stressful. I wanted to let you know about an app we started using to check in on our then teenage daughters when they were out late (they called it stalking, and may be right). It’s called Life360 and is free. You install it on your phone, invite your OH, accept on his behalf on his phone, and hey presto, you can see him moving on a map in real time. You can also invite other people, eg family members or carers, but be aware that they can then also see where you are, in real time. Just thought it might be easier, but might be wrong xI have been driving him to his lunch place recently because he couldn’t remember to use his bus pass, banged his head getting out of the bus, and brought a take away cup of hot tea home on the bus and tipped it because his hands are shaky. Today, after a run of low alcohol drinks he is a bit more ‘with it’ and wanted to go in and out on the bus so he has gone. Now the iPhone Find Phone App has come into its own because I can make sure he has got there safely. He never actually uses the phone for calls or messages, just reading emails but if I keep it charged, on and in his pocket then it gives me peace of mind. Conversation now revolves around the past, his working life, the family and the immediate present moment. Everything else is wiped. As long as he can safely be independent going in and out of town on a route he has done hundreds of times, I think he should do it because he couldn’t get around anywhere else. From an independent driver, going to the gym and functioning normally a year ago, he is now physically weak, tired and spending large amounts of time on his bed, with no short term memory to speak of. What next, I try to stop myself asking!
Thanks very much for your suggestion and I would try that if... Sadly he has deteriorated so much that he doesn’t want to go out now and I certainly wouldn’t want him to go alone. Today for example he has not been dressed all day, maybe a hang over from the heat yesterday. He doesn’t go out when I am out walking either. It’s a great sadness that as he has got worse I am able to go out for short periods walking, shopping, having a coffee with a friend. I have lost my companion of over 50 years to this destructive disease.Hello @Grahamstown Trying to keep track of where your OH is using find my iPhone sounds stressful. I wanted to let you know about an app we started using to check in on our then teenage daughters when they were out late (they called it stalking, and may be right). It’s called Life360 and is free. You install it on your phone, invite your OH, accept on his behalf on his phone, and hey presto, you can see him moving on a map in real time. You can also invite other people, eg family members or carers, but be aware that they can then also see where you are, in real time. Just thought it might be easier, but might be wrong x
I am so sorry. Bless you both xxxThanks very much for your suggestion and I would try that if... Sadly he has deteriorated so much that he doesn’t want to go out now and I certainly wouldn’t want him to go alone. Today for example he has not been dressed all day, maybe a hang over from the heat yesterday. He doesn’t go out when I am out walking either. It’s a great sadness that as he has got worse I am able to go out for short periods walking, shopping, having a coffee with a friend. I have lost my companion of over 50 years to this destructive disease.
Thank you trekker, kind words go a long way. I have been trying to say this to some friends who are going through a great family trauma. They are sorry that they can’t do something for me but they can’t. Their words of support are enough and make such a difference and I try to be there for them. That’s all you can do I think.I am so sorry. Bless you both xxx
Today a bunch of balloons appeared in the area outside our window and he was very disturbed by these, kept asking who they belonged to, why they were there, where they had come from over and over again. When I got back from taking her to the station and he was in bed, I got them, popped them and put them in the bin. All forgotten, visitor and balloons!my husband's eye was caught by something through the window,
Today a bunch of balloons appeared in the area outside our window and he was very disturbed by these, kept asking who they belonged to, why they were there, where they had come from over and over again. When I got back from taking her to the station and he was in bed, I got them, popped them and put them in the bin. All forgotten, visitor and balloons!
Oh Alice I feel for you with this questioning of his condition, it’s so upsetting and undermining for the person caring when it’s difficult enough as it is. It’s as if the burden is not heavy enough and has to be increased. I do get that with visiting friends but when my family members have actually stayed overnight, they know then! Incidentally my initial pleasure at his eating is now deflated by his appearance in his night clothes and announcing that he is going to bed and feels funny, something he has been complaining about recently. It’s 6 o’clock and the earliest that he has done this behaviour but he will be up and down saying goodnight for several hours. Needless to say he won’t eat. I managed to get him for a walk earlier, not very far but that may be why.My husband is in hospital via A&E. admitted Tuesday/Wednesday night, for chest infection, we could not rouse him. We got back about 4.00.
He has been hiccuping 9 days, I did try and get medication got this but various delays. I am insisting on a care package on discharge.
So when I have been home I have been juggling two counties trying to get them to coordinate.
But there is so much hosting going on! Unbelievable, one nurse caring for him queried whether he had dementia.
Wait and see I thought darkly!
Oh Alice I feel for you with this questioning of his condition, it’s so upsetting and undermining for the person caring when it’s difficult enough as it is. It’s as if the burden is not heavy enough and has to be increased. I do get that with visiting friends but when my family members have actually stayed overnight, they know then! Incidentally my initial pleasure at his eating is now deflated by his appearance in his night clothes and announcing that he is going to bed and feels funny, something he has been complaining about recently. It’s 6 o’clock and the earliest that he has done this behaviour but he will be up and down saying goodnight for several hours. Needless to say he won’t eat. I managed to get him for a walk earlier, not very far but that may be why.