Dear Talking Point Friends.
Nick and I have been in isolation for 22 days now. (Due to my CML we will have the minimum 12 weeks of isolation) But we are incredibly well and adjusting. No walkers, no daycare.
I have tried so hard to lead a full and rich life. I continued to work in the early years, brought up the children, and tried to have a "life" of my own; singing in my choir, singing in my rock band, going out on my own, keeping up my appearance, keeping up Nick's appearance.
Regarding life today, the Corona situation has freed me from trying to live a full and normal life, it has freed me to just give up and relax. I feel like all the things I have done to keep engaged and part of life have made me stressed, crabby and impatience. Now no one is having a “life” so it does not matter that I am not having a life. Before I was comparing my life to the lives of others, my friends and acquaintances they were traveling and going out. I was jealous of the spontaneity in their lives. I felt I must at least be very involved and active in my life here in Basel, go to choir, make music with friends, have people to dinner, go to the exhibitions to be alive.
I am not sure I was really enjoying anything. I was just pushing to sustain my previous life, just trying to have a normal life….or that I needed to say I was living a full life. My ego.
Now, I have been given permission by the universe to just hang…no pressure to get anywhere or do anything. No organizing Nick. Just caring for him and myself. I realize now how stressful it was to try and remain “normal” in our situation which was not normal really.
It is early days, but I hope and pray I can continue to sustain this mental attitude for the duration of the crisis. Nick is no better, he continues to progress. He generally unaware of the crisis (and life in general) and is content as long as I am content, and that all his needs are met. I have not been grateful to have his company for many years. But in isolation, I am grateful that he is here with me still. We are also very grateful to be out in the country....walks for hours at a time are easy here. Without seeing other people . And walking is all NIck has ever wanted to do.....so we continue to do that as we have for many many years.
Take care and stay healthy all.
