My husband, who has Alzheimer's which has affected his speech and communication, had an UTI and was constipated but because the GP refused to come to the house to see him he told me to ring the emergency services. It was not an emergency but eventually he was admitted to hospital. He went in fully mobile, active, sleeping upstairs, able to feed himself and attending a day centre twice a week.
He has been there for 2 months and during that time has become completely dependent, has lost a lot of weight and when he comes home will need a hospital bed downstairs and carers 4 times a day to help me do everything for him. He will be bedridden because he has so much muscle wastage and has been left lying in bed for most of the time.
I have brought up various issues with PAL's but although these have been resolved theoretically, nothing has changed in practice.
Yesterday was the last straw. I was told in no uncertain terms by one of the nurses in front of everyone else in the ward that I was taking liberties (I had over run the hours visiting time), taking the mickey, was selfish, endangering other patients and staff, that I thought I was special and if I didn't leave, the matron and security staff would escort me off the premises and she would get me banned from the hospital.
I have been visiting MH everyday (a 3-4 hour round trip) for one hour. Often he is asleep for the entire hour. I have tried to time the visit so that I can feed him as he can no longer do that himself and the nurses don't have the time to do it and this sometimes takes me over the hour but no one has objected before.
A few weeks ago he had recovered and was waiting for a care package. He was clearly not drinking enough fluids, which I brought up over and over again with the nursing staff and eventually he got another UTI and was back on anti biotics.
I am posting this, apart from getting it off my chest, because I am beginning to wonder if I have been unreasonable in my expectations having never experienced NHS hospitals except as a day patient.
These are some of the issues I have expressed concerns about:
The need for my husband to have help with food and fluids rather than it be left on his tray.
He has on at least 2 occasions (I was present at the time) been given another patients meal instead of the one ordered for him.
The need for him to be got out of bed and work done on his mobilisation.
The need for him to have some stimulation. There is a radio/TV but it is hardly ever on because it's a small ward and would disturb the other patients.
I mentioned he was wearing another patients T shirt on one occasion despite his own being on his chair next to him and the reply was " well at least it's clean".
His finger nails became encrusted with dried food where he was trying to pick soft food like mince up with his fingers and were only cleaned when I asked for some water and a nail brush.
Invariably when I go in his feet are like blocks of ice sticking out the bottom of the bed. Sometimes the hospital socks are nearby, sometimes they are nowhere to be seen.
Surely I can expect my husband to be treated with dignity and respect?
I am so tired of fighting his corner with the NHS and getting nowhere.
Am I now over reacting, should just accept it as it is and hope my husband will be home soon?
He has been there for 2 months and during that time has become completely dependent, has lost a lot of weight and when he comes home will need a hospital bed downstairs and carers 4 times a day to help me do everything for him. He will be bedridden because he has so much muscle wastage and has been left lying in bed for most of the time.
I have brought up various issues with PAL's but although these have been resolved theoretically, nothing has changed in practice.
Yesterday was the last straw. I was told in no uncertain terms by one of the nurses in front of everyone else in the ward that I was taking liberties (I had over run the hours visiting time), taking the mickey, was selfish, endangering other patients and staff, that I thought I was special and if I didn't leave, the matron and security staff would escort me off the premises and she would get me banned from the hospital.
I have been visiting MH everyday (a 3-4 hour round trip) for one hour. Often he is asleep for the entire hour. I have tried to time the visit so that I can feed him as he can no longer do that himself and the nurses don't have the time to do it and this sometimes takes me over the hour but no one has objected before.
A few weeks ago he had recovered and was waiting for a care package. He was clearly not drinking enough fluids, which I brought up over and over again with the nursing staff and eventually he got another UTI and was back on anti biotics.
I am posting this, apart from getting it off my chest, because I am beginning to wonder if I have been unreasonable in my expectations having never experienced NHS hospitals except as a day patient.
These are some of the issues I have expressed concerns about:
The need for my husband to have help with food and fluids rather than it be left on his tray.
He has on at least 2 occasions (I was present at the time) been given another patients meal instead of the one ordered for him.
The need for him to be got out of bed and work done on his mobilisation.
The need for him to have some stimulation. There is a radio/TV but it is hardly ever on because it's a small ward and would disturb the other patients.
I mentioned he was wearing another patients T shirt on one occasion despite his own being on his chair next to him and the reply was " well at least it's clean".
His finger nails became encrusted with dried food where he was trying to pick soft food like mince up with his fingers and were only cleaned when I asked for some water and a nail brush.
Invariably when I go in his feet are like blocks of ice sticking out the bottom of the bed. Sometimes the hospital socks are nearby, sometimes they are nowhere to be seen.
Surely I can expect my husband to be treated with dignity and respect?
I am so tired of fighting his corner with the NHS and getting nowhere.
Am I now over reacting, should just accept it as it is and hope my husband will be home soon?