I'm not sure how to word this posting as it is Christmas and I have no wish to spoil the true spirit of the season. From reading other threads I am not the only one who is so very very tired and dispirited by the constant battles and struggles I have almost on a daily basis.
My husband Ken is still on the EMI ward at the local hospital. After weeks and weeks of pleading to the Consultant and her staff I have finally managed to get him off the Section 3 of the Mental Health Act. I have had to grovel, beg and plead and be subjected to lectures about 'behaving in a responsible manner'. I am a retired senior teacher who has lived the whole of my life in a 'responsible manner' I have defended the staff, thanked them and tried in every way to help them. I have complied in every way with whatever the staff have said and yet I was treated as if I was a silly, irresponsible child who needed to be kept in check.
I give you one example of what the section 3 meant. After much pleading I was allowed to take him home twice a week for 4 hours - on one of the home visits I had run a bath for him and then realised that we would be about 20 minutes late getting back to the ward. I phoned the ward to let the staff know and was told by a senior nurse that if I did not get him back in time they would send the police to collect him!! Imagine how I felt as I let the bathwater out and rushed him back to the ward. This is a man I have been married to for 40 years!!
The relief I now feel in being able to take him home twice a week without worrying about being a few minutes late back on the ward is enormous. I have spent months sitting on a public ward with no privacy and peace whatsoever. To be able to sit in our own home for a few hours and eat a meal together is heaven. The change in the way the staff treat us both now the Section 3 is no longer hanging over our heads is a wonder. Today Ken wet himself and his slippers were wet through. I asked if I could take him to a local shop to get him new slippers (with trepidation in my heart as it was not one of the agreed days to take him out) I was told by a smiling and relaxed nurse that now he was off the Section I could take him out whenever I wanted!!!
By the nature of the ward I know that Ken is living amongst some violent men. I have seen examples of this time and time again. Most of the men are not able to move about much and this does help the situation. Also it is easy enough to see when they are getting disturbed and to move out of their way. One man is constantly monitored and trailed by a nurse to ensure the safety of both himself and others and when he is violent he is restrained in his room but with the door open with a matress across the door and a nurse sitting at the door. A humane and safe way to ensure the safety of others. Ken was also subject to 24 hour watching by a nurse the first week he was on the ward simply because he had mistaken another patient for myself and been 'over protective' towards this person. This behaviour happened only twice within the first week and was the main reason he was immediately put onto Section 3. He has never repeated this behaviour on the ward since that time.
Three weeks ago a new man was admitted and it was obvious from the first day that he was volatile and very dangerous but no check on his movements around the ward was made and no nurse was on 24 watch with him. Ken lived in terror of the man and I reported this to a senior nurse. I was told that my remarks would 'be passed on to the consultant' and the man was left free to prowl around and terrorise both my husband and others. I cried when I got home as I felt I had left my vulnerable husband in a dangerous situation with no one who would protect him.
Two days ago the man threw a full cup of hot tea around the room and covered everyone. He had to be physically restrained by several nurses from harming another patient. I repeated my complaint that Ken was terrified of the man and was told 'it is the nature of the ward' and nothing could be done. Today the man hurled a nurse across the room and broke her arm. This was a situation which I know everyone dealing with the man could have anticipated. The Consultant was called onto the ward and I hope that finally something will be done to protect everyone. I am left angry and dismayed that this situation has been ignored for all this time.
I have spoken to other relatives and know that they feel the same as I do about many things which happen on the ward. None of us are brave enough to suggest we all try to get together to discuss our grievances or even simply to support each other in the terrible ordeal of having our loved ones on a long stay elderly mental health ward. The car park is not a good place to talk to other relatives but I am not bold enough to ask the ward sister can I put up a notice to invite other relatives to the coffee shop or some such meeting place. I think along with my husband, I too have now become institutionalised, compliant and frightened of 'rocking the boat'.
xxTinaT
My husband Ken is still on the EMI ward at the local hospital. After weeks and weeks of pleading to the Consultant and her staff I have finally managed to get him off the Section 3 of the Mental Health Act. I have had to grovel, beg and plead and be subjected to lectures about 'behaving in a responsible manner'. I am a retired senior teacher who has lived the whole of my life in a 'responsible manner' I have defended the staff, thanked them and tried in every way to help them. I have complied in every way with whatever the staff have said and yet I was treated as if I was a silly, irresponsible child who needed to be kept in check.
I give you one example of what the section 3 meant. After much pleading I was allowed to take him home twice a week for 4 hours - on one of the home visits I had run a bath for him and then realised that we would be about 20 minutes late getting back to the ward. I phoned the ward to let the staff know and was told by a senior nurse that if I did not get him back in time they would send the police to collect him!! Imagine how I felt as I let the bathwater out and rushed him back to the ward. This is a man I have been married to for 40 years!!
The relief I now feel in being able to take him home twice a week without worrying about being a few minutes late back on the ward is enormous. I have spent months sitting on a public ward with no privacy and peace whatsoever. To be able to sit in our own home for a few hours and eat a meal together is heaven. The change in the way the staff treat us both now the Section 3 is no longer hanging over our heads is a wonder. Today Ken wet himself and his slippers were wet through. I asked if I could take him to a local shop to get him new slippers (with trepidation in my heart as it was not one of the agreed days to take him out) I was told by a smiling and relaxed nurse that now he was off the Section I could take him out whenever I wanted!!!
By the nature of the ward I know that Ken is living amongst some violent men. I have seen examples of this time and time again. Most of the men are not able to move about much and this does help the situation. Also it is easy enough to see when they are getting disturbed and to move out of their way. One man is constantly monitored and trailed by a nurse to ensure the safety of both himself and others and when he is violent he is restrained in his room but with the door open with a matress across the door and a nurse sitting at the door. A humane and safe way to ensure the safety of others. Ken was also subject to 24 hour watching by a nurse the first week he was on the ward simply because he had mistaken another patient for myself and been 'over protective' towards this person. This behaviour happened only twice within the first week and was the main reason he was immediately put onto Section 3. He has never repeated this behaviour on the ward since that time.
Three weeks ago a new man was admitted and it was obvious from the first day that he was volatile and very dangerous but no check on his movements around the ward was made and no nurse was on 24 watch with him. Ken lived in terror of the man and I reported this to a senior nurse. I was told that my remarks would 'be passed on to the consultant' and the man was left free to prowl around and terrorise both my husband and others. I cried when I got home as I felt I had left my vulnerable husband in a dangerous situation with no one who would protect him.
Two days ago the man threw a full cup of hot tea around the room and covered everyone. He had to be physically restrained by several nurses from harming another patient. I repeated my complaint that Ken was terrified of the man and was told 'it is the nature of the ward' and nothing could be done. Today the man hurled a nurse across the room and broke her arm. This was a situation which I know everyone dealing with the man could have anticipated. The Consultant was called onto the ward and I hope that finally something will be done to protect everyone. I am left angry and dismayed that this situation has been ignored for all this time.
I have spoken to other relatives and know that they feel the same as I do about many things which happen on the ward. None of us are brave enough to suggest we all try to get together to discuss our grievances or even simply to support each other in the terrible ordeal of having our loved ones on a long stay elderly mental health ward. The car park is not a good place to talk to other relatives but I am not bold enough to ask the ward sister can I put up a notice to invite other relatives to the coffee shop or some such meeting place. I think along with my husband, I too have now become institutionalised, compliant and frightened of 'rocking the boat'.
xxTinaT