Alz Patients mistaking genders

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Shakey1961a, Jul 25, 2005.

  1. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Quick question really...

    Have any of you out there had someone with Alzheimer's and they've mistaken you or someone else for the opposite sex? Called you a man when you're a woman or visa versa?

    You know my reasons why...

    BTW, had a good visit last week. Bananas, chocolate and fresh orange juice all went down very well.

    Mum still sucks through a straw for the orange which I think is a good sign!!!

    Ta for your replies.

    Steve
     
  2. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Hi Steve

    He & She constantly get interchanged - I suspect it is part of the speech deterioration. He & She are just words aren't they.

    With both Aunt and Dad even the dogs underwent gender changes!

    Kriss
     
  3. Matzu

    Matzu Registered User

    Jun 7, 2005
    11
    South Carolina
    Steve, my husband is notorius for this and has been for quite some time now (late State 6 currently). I turn into "that ol'boy" repeatedly throughout the day and especially during the sundowning hours.

    Matzu
     
  4. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    #4 Shakey1961a, Jul 26, 2005
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2005
    But if there are 2 careers both female in the room attending to a persons care and the Alz patient is asked what they're sick of (after getting agitated when being changed and moved) and they reply "That Man" could they be mistaking the ladies for men especially if they're dress in care workers/nurseing uniforms?

    Can Alz people mistake genders even more when stressed and agitated?
     
  5. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    520
    hi ,even if the AD patent was not mistaken in the gender ,it is not unusual to take against ,a loved one ,it is the nature of the illness ,there is no understanding what goes on in there mind we have all been , accused of something or another even if trivial .it can be hurtfull.ANGELA
     
  6. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Thanks Angela. I understand about them accusing loved ones. I'm more in need of the gender confusion on this one. When mum was talking about "That Man" I wasn't even in the building, but was being attended to by nurses and carers.

    Just need to know how common this is.

    Thanks for all your replies everyone. Please keep them coming
     
  7. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Dad often refers to the nurse in charge as his 'mate' - a term he used to reserve for men only. She's big, buxom, short hair and a strong voice - maybe he's just picking one of the 'male' characteristics to define her as 'he'?
     
  8. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,152
    Toronto, Canada
    I agree with Kriss - I think it's just the language deterioration. My mother does it occasionally. Certainly I think it's all part of the AD. Goes along with the fact that I am now nearly always a sister and not a daughter.

    I don't think it's worth worrying about - I wouldn't even bother correcting your mother. Just the old "Smile & nod".
     
  9. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    I don't correct my mother, in fact I don't ever remember her calling me "her".

    I relates to my legal stuff and that while mum was agitated she said "I'm sick of it" and the nurses and carers asked "What of?" and mum is supposed to have replied "That Man" I was wondering if she could mistake the nurses for men.

    Because mum said "That Man" the carers are implying that I've been abusing mum which is not the case.

    Mum is also supposed to have said more things about a "male" like "Don't let him in here"

    I'm just tyring to prove that she may not be able to distinguish between male and female and that the carers have it all wrong.
     
  10. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,152
    Toronto, Canada
    Absolutely she may have trouble distinguishing between male and female. It may be her perception or it may be her language skills (or lack thereof). The nurses should certainly know that a person with AD can come up with some interesting statements. While my mother still lived with my stepfather, she accused him of all kinds of odd things, like him spreading the rumour around that she had a brain tumour, having affairs, going out every night drinking & carousing. My grandmother died in 1970 and my mother talks about her as though she's still living. Are the staff supposed to take that seriously?

    I realize you say you have legal issues but is it not possible for you to have a meeting with the staff & go over these concerns? Or would that be a no-no?
     
  11. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Well all this is "supposed" to have happened last September and is in the witness statements. The prosecution are trying to rely on what my mum says as evidence against me. Daft.

    I'm not allowed to talk about the legal stuff or approach any of the nurses/carers involved.

    There's a whole host of contradictions between their statements and I've uncovered so much that it's going in my favour feel.

    It's things like Alz patients mistaking genders that I wanted to find out about to prove that mum's behaviour and what she says cannot be relied upon, especially when mum had been asked questions when she was agitated. I mean, even you and I have difficulty in answering questions if we're stressed or upset or frightened, never mind an Alzheimer's person.
     
  12. Suzy R

    Suzy R Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    40
    Switzerland
    Both my mum and my grandfather often talk(ed) about 'that man' when there is(was) no-one there. My grandfather also kept saying that 'those men' were getting him drunk. It was a Martini advert that kept being shown on the TV....

    Not only can my mother not always distinguish between M and F, but she has no real grasp of then and now. Your mother could be re-living a repressed memory from years ago or mentioning something she saw on the TV.
     
  13. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Exactly!! How can anyone tell what they mean. It must be awful for them as well.

    But this is the "evidence" that has/is being used to make a case against me. There's no evidence. No CCTV of my actions, it's only from agency staff who hadn't been there for long.

    To my knowledge none of the full-time staff have ever questioned my actions, behaviour or words towards my mother before this.

    It's very hard to stay calm when you know you're totally and utterly innocent!
     

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