Mum has Been in a nursing home for just over three months. Over the last week, when visiting, I have been threatened by one of the residents, had food and a table thrown at me and made to feel very uncomfortable. Yes I have spoken to the manager who said the resident took medication but it didn’t always have an effect. Yesterday the resident slapped another visitor across the face. Unfortunately the lady declined to make a complaint. i Have difficulty communicating with Mum and try to make it light hearted and laugh but this particular resident thinks we are laughing at her and starts shouting abuse at us. in their blurb the home says they don’t take accept residents with challenging behaviour so what is classed as challenging. It’s been a very difficult week!
Aggressive resident
- Thread starter Josee
- Start date
Hmm, the other visitor should let the manager know this happened as they may need to support that resident more or look at their care plan.
It’s so hard with some people with dementia, I regularly get told to F off by a resident in my mums home but that person cannot help that and I believe my mum has been quite vocal at times.
However physical aggression is not ok and the home need to check on this and deal with it appropriately. This will either be by reviewing the aggression and referring the person on to other support or placing more staff in the areas where this is happening. Again, my mum became aggressive and steps were taken to support her better.
You will always get some behaviour that does not sit well with visitors , sometime you have to ignor this but it would be worth finding out what the home will do to support your mum and other residents who are not at this stage .
It’s so hard with some people with dementia, I regularly get told to F off by a resident in my mums home but that person cannot help that and I believe my mum has been quite vocal at times.
However physical aggression is not ok and the home need to check on this and deal with it appropriately. This will either be by reviewing the aggression and referring the person on to other support or placing more staff in the areas where this is happening. Again, my mum became aggressive and steps were taken to support her better.
You will always get some behaviour that does not sit well with visitors , sometime you have to ignor this but it would be worth finding out what the home will do to support your mum and other residents who are not at this stage .
It’s totally stressed me out this week. I have grandchildren to look after atm too and I was hoping to take then in to see Mum if only for 5 minutes but I know they would be scared f someone was throwing things at us so I darent take them. I‘m not the upset sort but I’m afraid it’s got to me today.
Hi @Josee, this does sound upsetting. I know which of the residents at my wife's home are likely to turn from friendly to hostile in a moment. One of these just shouts but the other offers physical violence but rarely follows through. I am a fit, 6 foot, 12 stone man so these ladies don't intimidate me. I know that a lot of this is due to dementia, although I suspect that 1 always had a temper. I address them by name and tell them firmly to calm down, which doesn't always work. Your situation sounds more difficult. I agree that incidents should be reported as there may be ways for staff to address underlying causes. There may be a challenging behaviour team, for example. It is a matter of judgement as to the benefit there would be for your Mum to see her grandchildren in what might be a scary (and unpredictable) environment for them.
It's a difficult one.
The first home my mum was in took some very bad dementia cases, 2 of them had 1:1 care which meant they were well supervised. One guy threw plates at staff across the lounge/dining room while she was in there.
In the end my brother and I took the decision to find another home as it would stress us out both being there visiting and knowing mum was amongst some severe cases.
Although it's a tough call to move someone with dementia, it was the best choice we made as new place was much calmer, private and had less exteme residents. Visiting became eaiser and less stressful instead of constantly worrying whether it would affect my mum being mixed in with too many challenging residents,
The first home my mum was in took some very bad dementia cases, 2 of them had 1:1 care which meant they were well supervised. One guy threw plates at staff across the lounge/dining room while she was in there.
In the end my brother and I took the decision to find another home as it would stress us out both being there visiting and knowing mum was amongst some severe cases.
Although it's a tough call to move someone with dementia, it was the best choice we made as new place was much calmer, private and had less exteme residents. Visiting became eaiser and less stressful instead of constantly worrying whether it would affect my mum being mixed in with too many challenging residents,
It's possible that the other resident is not abe to cope with the comings and goings of visitors etc, maybe they are not being supported enough, or maybe they would benefit from a 1:1 . Nevertheless it's still distressing for you, and possibly for other residents too. The home will have a duty to log all incidents and comments so it may be that in time the home will be deemed unsuitable for that resident. In the short term, would it be better to have more private visists in your Mum's room, or in a garden if weather allows? I know there's no reason why you should feel you have to hide away with your Mum but perhaps it would help a little? It must be very difficult x
I’m having the same issue at my mum’s care home. Two gentlemen are very agitated and aggressive. They shout and swear and ram everything with their walkers. Yesterday I thought he was going to clobber my mum. it is sad because I know it’s because they are confused and want their wives… but I’m so worried about my mum stuck in that hostile environment. They really shouldn’t be on that floor. this evening I phoned to see how things were and I was told that all residents were in their rooms for their own safety. Is that normal practice? It really doesn’t seem right to me.
I never heard of anything like that happening when my mum and dad were in a nursing home, it must be a bit worrying for you.
It might be a good idea to try to speak to the care home manager about your concerns.
That must be worrying @Suzysheep01
Call tomorrow for an update but it sounds as if there has been some sort of incident and the home have had to do this to keep everyone safe. One would hope action is taken promptly and this is an emergency very temporary measure.
Call tomorrow for an update but it sounds as if there has been some sort of incident and the home have had to do this to keep everyone safe. One would hope action is taken promptly and this is an emergency very temporary measure.
One of the residents was removed. The other remains, with occasional vocal outbursts. I think the combination of the two of them was a disaster.
im not that happy that one is still remaining, he should definitely be on a higher care floor, but what can you do?
im not that happy that one is still remaining, he should definitely be on a higher care floor, but what can you do?
In my mums care home there has to be a full safeguard report due to the L.A adult social care policy. This is actually a bit of a tedious task as all minor incidents have to be reported as well. This is quite a significant incident and I would expect the home to take action, however if they are reporting it to social services and they are not taking any action there is a problem. Maybe you could contact ss and ask if they are aware of this and what is being put in place. It might be this home is not suitable for this resident or that they need 1:1 care ( very expensive!) When my mum became aggressive with other residents she had to move home and is now on a behaviour support unit, social services were involved and very supportive.
Quite. This is unacceptable and the home needs to take immediate action to protect your mother and the other residents.
Unless the senior manager for the home is present when you visit and is taking this VERY seriously indeed, I personally would make an urgent report to both the CQC and the Safeguarding Team in the local social services. It's not as if this is the first time it's been clear that there is a problem, and whether or not the visitor you mentioned in your first post wanted to make a complaint, action should have been taken then - not least because the resident who is lashing out is clearly distressed and whatever medication they are taking is not helping.
My mum was attacked by a male resident who I had spotted before the incident as having some considerable behavioural issues. It was taken very seriously and went to local safeguarding who kept me informed of what actions were taken. The male resident was subsequently transferred to a more appropriate psyche unit, where 1:1 really is instigated.
I think it is really difficult in these circumstances as care homes / nursing homes are frequently met with staff shortages and budget restraints which often results in a lack of any real and appropriate staffing to support residents with more challenging behaviours, however not all PWD are suited to even EMI units in the private sector, but it seems to me by experience some care homes /nursing homes will try to push the boundaries of what they can actually deliver rather than accept they just can't deliver the best care on some residents.
I wouldn't visit with any children just yet until this is resolved and with some understanding about the offender I would certainly be asking if they are in the right place given the apparent lack of supportive care for the challenging behaviours. We also have to think about this the other way round, the person committing these acts also has clearly unmet needs in a place that is not meeting them.
I think it is really difficult in these circumstances as care homes / nursing homes are frequently met with staff shortages and budget restraints which often results in a lack of any real and appropriate staffing to support residents with more challenging behaviours, however not all PWD are suited to even EMI units in the private sector, but it seems to me by experience some care homes /nursing homes will try to push the boundaries of what they can actually deliver rather than accept they just can't deliver the best care on some residents.
I wouldn't visit with any children just yet until this is resolved and with some understanding about the offender I would certainly be asking if they are in the right place given the apparent lack of supportive care for the challenging behaviours. We also have to think about this the other way round, the person committing these acts also has clearly unmet needs in a place that is not meeting them.
At the same time, the pressure on care homes to take people they might prefer not to is considerable, although it is a condition of their registration that they don't take anyone whose needs are beyond their capacity to meet. Sometimes optimism clouds judgement.
I too would keep children well away from this environment until matters have been resolved, preferably by moving the distressed resident into a more suitable setting where he can be properly assessed and cared for without putting others at risk.
I think the reality is that care homes /nursing homes have to run at full capacity and the optimism is more about filling vacancies than genuinely assessing potential residents needs. I also think EMI units should not be mixed sex because as always 9 times out of ten it is the female residents who get abused by their male counterparts.
I would be really unhappy about this. How is your mum? Does she remember the assault?
speak with the manager. This is a safeguarding issue.
We spoke to the manager quoting the safeguarding issue and for a while the staff were either close by or the resident remained in her room. Mum didn’t discuss it except to say she was a nasty woman. More recently the resident moves from chair to chair in the lounge and Has fallen a number of times while we have been there. there Never seems to be a member of staff around and it seems to be up to the visitors to summon help. It makes visiting pretty stressful!
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