Advise please

[Debz5564]

My hubby has been happy and childish most of the time, he randomly sings and dances even during serious situations
tonight we had a bit of a row, he reacted childish but aggressive, after things had calmed he apologised and asked if I was talking to him, because I was angry I said no
he didnt speak for over 3 hours then took himself to bed without even telling me he was going to bed or saying good night
this is so out of character as he is never quiet as he always has questions and challenges everything
I don’t understand how he has stayed silent for 3 hours, why didn’t he forget we had a row ?
will he have forgot in the morning?
im concerned something has changed suddenly

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Debz5564.

As dementia progresses the person becomes more attuned to body language and emotion. What has happened seems to be a good example.

My wife is just like that and in her case she does lose the memory by the next morning.

A hug often cures all ills and there is a secure and pleasant emotion tied to a hug.

I wish you strength.

 

[Lawson58]

My hubby has been happy and childish most of the time, he randomly sings and dances even during serious situations
tonight we had a bit of a row, he reacted childish but aggressive, after things had calmed he apologised and asked if I was talking to him, because I was angry I said no
he didnt speak for over 3 hours then took himself to bed without even telling me he was going to bed or saying good night
this is so out of character as he is never quiet as he always has questions and challenges everything
I don’t understand how he has stayed silent for 3 hours, why didn’t he forget we had a row ?
will he have forgot in the morning?
im concerned something has changed suddenly

My husband went three weeks without talking to me. We had an argument and he really spat the dummy. He was trying to prove to me that he didn’t need me and of course things reverted to normal. I didn’t mind it actually as it was better than having him badgering me.

I believe that people with dementia can control their behaviour to a certain extent, depending on what’s in it for them. My husband could be very manipulative and tried all sorts of things trying to control me and the situation.

 

[Debz5564]

My husband went three weeks without talking to me. We had an argument and he really spat the dummy. He was trying to prove to me that he didn’t need me and of course things reverted to normal. I didn’t mind it actually as it was better than having him badgering me.

I believe that people with dementia can control their behaviour to a certain extent, depending on what’s in it for them. My husband could be very manipulative and tried all sorts of things trying to control me and the situation.

thanks for your reply, i quite liked the peace last night but was confused as normally he cant keep quiet.
it advises not to argue as we cant win and it will make them angry but it is so hard to not argue when you are trying to make them see sense. suppose i should count myself lucky as he is happy most of the time but that can be annoying too especially when it is not appropriate.

 

[Debz5564]

Hello @Debz5564.

As dementia progresses the person becomes more attuned to body language and emotion. What has happened seems to be a good example.

My wife is just like that and in her case she does lose the memory by the next morning.

A hug often cures all ills and there is a secure and pleasant emotion tied to a hug.

I wish you strength.

thank you for your reply, he did remember this morning but says he doesnt know why he behaved like that and has said sorry. i agree about a hug curing all ills but it is so hard to hug someone that you are upset and annoyed with, then the guilt kicks in because deep down i know he cant help it but at that moment its not so easy to ignore

 

[ChaceSoto]

Your husband may be feeling stressed or frustrated because of your argument, which has led to his unusual behavior. Every person reacts to conflict differently, and for your husband, staying silent may be a way to process the emotions. It's not necessarily that anything has suddenly changed, it's just possible that he needs time to calm down and process his feelings. Discuss your quarrel with him calmly and openly when you are both ready.