Thanks for your replies Helen, Cliff and jan That is how I feel powerless, when i try to approach the subject he just thinks I am getting to him. But I will try to get him to contact his mams doctor he needs advice more than anything. Conversation with his mam today she said she is ging to stop talking to him about it because she knows he gets up set about it (her house she means) but she will never forgive her daughter for it, she really sounds hurt and wanting to get back at her family. To me she doesnt sound as if she has much wrong with her when she is dispalying thought fullness like that, but who knows I will pass on your advice to my partner thanks