Advice please

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Morg, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. Morg

    Morg New member

    Oct 21, 2018
    8
    my mum who used to be a very clean smart lady is now very grubby. I had noticed her clothes often being worn for too long however as I am a distance away I could only say when I visited for a couple of days. In the last few weeks two visits have shocked me. Mum hasn't bathed or showered for a long time but used to wash. Now it is clear she just changes underwear occasionally. There were 10 pairs of grotty pants in her bed. To be blunt she is very smelly and so too is her house. She has two visits a day from carers giving her medication, and recently has had a district nurse to treat her legs. I did suggest she should have a bath but she said she'd have one another day. We haven't got the type of relationship I could help her in or out and I think she's a bit frail to manage alone. I'm not sure what I'm asking really. Am I passing the buck by ignoring the problem, should I be more proactive and ask care agency - it's all so awkward.
     
  2. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,678
    Toronto, Canada
    I think this is a health and dignity issue so if I were you, I would discuss it with the care agency. I realize how difficult it feels but I think you'll have to grab the bull by the horns. Would it be possible to get a cleaning lady in every week or two to give the house a good going over?

    My mother had been ultra fastidious when she was well but it shocked us as to how quickly her hygiene deteriorated.
     
  3. J53

    J53 Registered User

    Oct 9, 2018
    26
    Hi Morg
    It's so difficult can she have carers that will wash her? Before my dad went I to a home he had carers that showered him 3 times a week maybe it's time you looked into care homes so you will be prepared when the time comes to do this it's a hard step to take I am 240 miles away from my dad so I know how hard it is but being prepared rather than told I would have preferred.
     
  4. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,451
    Male
  5. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    519
    Sadly this is very common . My mother-in-law used to say that she would always have a bath or wash or change her clothes another day it was always that same phrase another day. She had carers in three times a day and it was on the care plan to assist with a wash. In the three years she had carers at home I think they succeeded in assisting her with personal care about 5 times. As she didn't smell I never used to fret about it. When she eventually went into residential care this summer within 48 hours they had bathed her and had her hair washed
     

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