my mum who used to be a very clean smart lady is now very grubby. I had noticed her clothes often being worn for too long however as I am a distance away I could only say when I visited for a couple of days. In the last few weeks two visits have shocked me. Mum hasn't bathed or showered for a long time but used to wash. Now it is clear she just changes underwear occasionally. There were 10 pairs of grotty pants in her bed. To be blunt she is very smelly and so too is her house. She has two visits a day from carers giving her medication, and recently has had a district nurse to treat her legs. I did suggest she should have a bath but she said she'd have one another day. We haven't got the type of relationship I could help her in or out and I think she's a bit frail to manage alone. I'm not sure what I'm asking really. Am I passing the buck by ignoring the problem, should I be more proactive and ask care agency - it's all so awkward.