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Advice appreciated

SLG

New member
Feb 27, 2021
1
0
Hello, I just wondered if anyone had any tips on caring for a parent with dementia whilst being pregnant... I’m finding it all quite hard.
just to give you some background... my Mum has aphasia and dementia and so is losing her ability to communicate, she has very limited understanding of words now so she can’t express herself or understand what we are saying in any meaningful way. I have a 2 1/2 year old with another one on the way and I have a chronic pain condition which makes life really difficult as well. Every time I go to visit my Mum (she still lives with Dad but we had the conversation today that we should probably look into homes soon) she is in tears- I think she is understandably terrified and I just find it so upsetting and hard to see. She used to have the loveliest bond with my toddler but watching that deteriorate over the last few months has been heartbreaking as she just can’t really interact with her anymore. I don’t think my Mum really even understands that I am pregnant again. I just miss her so much and would love nothing more than to just have a chat with her or go out for coffee with her or laugh like we used to.
I also feel guilty at the moment as I’m only seeing her every few days due to my poor health and when I do see her I just feel completely helpless as I don’t know what she’s trying to say to me.
Does anyone have any tips for how to cope with this situation or a similar one? I don’t have any aunties and my mother in law passed away a few years ago so I feel like I have no one to talk to. I’m still fairly young and all my friends still have their Mums in their lives and it’s hard to hear them all talk about the lovely things they are doing together.
I’m so sorry for the long post, I just needed to write it al down!
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,974
0
N Ireland
Hello @SLG and welcome to the forum

My wife also has dementia with aphasia so I understand the communication issue and that feeling of being lonely that can be induced by that pairing. Unfortunately that feeling of loss as the loved one disappears under their dementia is a common one. It's one of the reasons for the forum as we support each other here.

Would it be an idea to explore the possibility of some outside support for your parents as you don't mention that. If this is something you would like to explore you may be assisted by the Society Factsheets that can be found by clicking the following links
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,122
0
leicester
Hi @SLG and welcome to DTP although I’m sorry you needed to find us.
I personally don’t have words of wisdom with regards to caring for your Mum as I cared for my husband but the first thing that springs to mind is you are all so much in need of help, online support first which I hope DTP can help you with and also practical help which you need to get via a needs assessment from SS..
From your post I can see you are missing interacting with your Mum very much, I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post..
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
722
0
My mother has Dysarthria which means her speech is pretty much incomprehensible. It can't be cured. Unfortunately a lot of patience is required, and find ways to understand.