Adult day care for dimentia

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by rummy, Oct 25, 2005.

  1. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Do you all have adult day are centers in the UK? We have been advised to take my Mom to one every week but getting her to go is about impossible. She will hardly be away from home for more than an hour. I am wondering if as the disease progresses and she looses cognitive ability if it will be easier to get her there or if by then it will do little good. The Alzheimers Association case worker indicates that her going to one could keep her out of a nursing home for a longer time.
    Do any of you have any experience with this?
    Thanks,
    Debbie
     
  2. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    Hi Rummy,

    Dad went to a fantastic day care centre for about a year and seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. Loads of activities and loads of people (he's a people person). We always callled it 'The Club' and I think that dad thought he was helping others, in fact, knowing dad he probably was. He returned very animated, happy and started sleeping a lot better at night. Unfortunately day centres in the UK are under a lot of financial pressure and due to funding problems are closing down slowly but surely.

    This day centre all had to be arranged through dads social worker / care worker - so move fast.

    Kind Regards
    Craig
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Debbie

    yes we do have day care centres but I think they can be available in some areas, not in others. Sometimes distances can be a problem here in the UK, although we are such a small country. When dementia calls, a 1 mile journey might as well be 1,000 miles.

    When day centres are available, they may be full, etc. So it can be a lottery.

    In my experience, the day centre that was available to Jan was run by the local health authority. We were banned from it very quickly because Jan was the only young person there and she wanted to know why the hell she was being dumped with a lot of really old weirdo's [her impressions, not mine!]

    It was so hard on her - and me - that I was pleased to have the decision to take her there removed from me by the ban.

    The local Alzheimer's Society branch also ran day facilities and these were very good. Jan didn't respond well to day centres though.
     
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Going to the day centre has really helped Lionel.. I talked him into going by saying it was something he could do for me, and that he was in control. i.e. if he went it really was his decision. As at that time he was so aware that he was losing the ability to make decisions, to instigate anything, and had stopped being THE MAN IN CHARGE.

    He thoroughly enjoys his time at the centre, but still tells everyone "I only do this for Connie". We are fortunate that he is taken by taxi as the centre is over 20 miles away. He is still coping with the travelling, although we struggle to get him in and out of any form of transport. Connie
     
  5. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    Hi Rummy


    Here in Germany, they have an extremely well organised network for AD. Apart from day care centres, there are also 'meetings`for dementia patients once a week. This not only helps them but also gives some much needed respite to care-givers.

    My mother was so reluctant initially - so I went along and stayed with her the first two times - they have lots of fun activities and each patient gets an individual carer. The table is beautifully decorated, everyone has tea and snacks (whatever their favourites are), then they go out for walks, return, play some therapeutic games (for movement of fingers, co-ordination etc.), then each one does his individual thing - in my mum's case, quite surprisingly, she is able to do emboridery again and everyone's praise delights her.

    Mind you, my mother (Indian) lives with me here in Germany and she doesn't speak any German. Still, the results have been good, as the care-takers are indeed dedicated and language is no barrier. Now, she looks forward to it every week. However, she believes she is going to the temple which is quite okay because it's in the premises of the church anyway.

    Hope my experience helps you :)
    Good luck !

    Sue Stimpfig
     
  6. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    787
    Buckinghamshire
    Transport problems

    Connie,
    You mention problems getting Lionel in and out of the Taxi - do you have any tips?
    Just recently, my husband has not been able to follow any instructions of how to get in (and often out) of the car, I think it is just too big a task now for him, which he can't break down into small steps - it has taken us over an hour on occasions, which is not only very impractical, but will be impossible now that the weather is getting colder and wetter ..... occasionally, it works, but my fear is that it may not work on the way home from wherever we've been, and that would be even more stressful.
    We have abandoned his trips to the day centre for that very reason (he is taken there by car by a carer), and interestingly, the staff were unable to get him onto the mini-bus type ambulance for the return journey last week and 'phoned me to go and collect him.

    This is a really big backward step for us, and any practical tips would be greatly appreciated!
     
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi all, it may not be relevant, but when I used to do EMI nursing, we often used a mini bus that took wheelchairs. Those that could not/would not get on board, we sat in a wheelchair, wheeled them on and strapped the wheelchair in. The other end, wheeled them off, problem solved. Can you get a taxi that can take a wheelchair? I know some do. Sorry if this doesn't help, but just in case, I thought I would mention it. Love She. XX
     
  8. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    We really struggled with car transport whilst on holiday, each car being different and left hand drive.

    Lionel is usually fine in my car, but someday when he is tired we can spend up to 20 mins. trying to get in. Seems easier to get out.
    My daughter-in-law took hime out a few weeks ago. He got in and out of her car on the outwood journey and again quite easily on the return.

    She made him lunch and then suggested a trip to the beach. He got stuck trying to get in the car, twisted himself around so his back was against the dashboard and knees locked against the seat. She had to ask some passing strong lads to help her get him out. No rhyme or reason.

    Sorry Nan, this is a longwinded way of saying haven't found the answer yet.
    Warmest regards, Connie
     
  9. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    Hi Connie

    Have you considered having adaptive devices fitted in your car which are usually custom-built ? I am not sure how this works in the area you live in but on one of the websites, I read that voluntary agencies can get special discounts to have the cars modified.

    For a start, you could perhaps check out http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cars/rules/adaptive/brochure/brochure.html

    Sue
     
  10. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Thanks all for your encouragement and advise. I will try to tackle getting Mom to a day care soon and hope it goes well. She is incredibly stuborn!

    Debbie
     
  11. jenny millen

    jenny millen Registered User

    Oct 26, 2005
    4
    Mottingham, London, SE9
    Coping


    Hi Connie

    I am new to the forum. We used to have problems with Mum in and out of a car but ours was lack of patience on our part. We now have to leave her at the car door and gently guide her through putting her right leg in first and holding the cars doors. She always feels that she isn't going to make the seat as it always seems so far down but we just guide her down slowly. We then praise her enormously saying "thats it" and this seems to help. Its a phrase we use a lot with her and she now mimmicks us with it. Mum has the problem with speech, letting us know what she wants in a way that makes sense - if you know what I mean - we just have to try and de-code what she says.

    You would think that there would be something we could buy to put on the seat that swivels round once it is sat on to face the front - trouble is with the system that no-one really appreciates the difficulty we face with our loved ones in and out cars.

    Don't know whether this will help but here's hoping.

    Jenny x
     
  12. jenny millen

    jenny millen Registered User

    Oct 26, 2005
    4
    Mottingham, London, SE9
    Day Centre


    Hi Debbie

    Mum was very reluctant to go to a Day Centre but we convinced her by saying that "you don't like being on your own all day do you and you will have fun". She eventually gave in and loved it. We now use this ruse when we get back to her nursing home sometimes when she asked "where am I" and we answer that this is your club - remember? When she gets in she then recognises where she is - never really knowing. Day Centres are a very good way for your peace of mind as well as you know that they are safe and maybe keep her from having to go into care in the longer tem.

    Jenny x
     
  13. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    It has really hit home this week. My Dad who takes care of my Mom all of the time was rushed to the hospital after he passed out. He was in for three days and I just got him home. They found that his carotid arteries are clogged and will have to address that. So I had full care of Mom for three days and she was a hand full. Last night she flipped our bedroom light on at 1:30 am scarring the daylights out of us. She was fully dressed, bags packed and ready to "go" somewhere! I had to sleep on the couch to make sure she didn't leave the house. If I had her in day care or had someone to come in it would have helped soooooo much! This is going to the top of my priority list!
    Thanks again for all of your advice and encouragement.
    Debbie
     
  14. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi Debbie,

    Sorry to hear about your dad's hospital stay. Having to look after your mom full time over the past few days sounds stressful, but at least it gives you a true picture of her behavior 24/7.

    Your dad might not have been giving you the full story upto now, either due to a desire to protect your mom and you, or perhaps he has just got used to her little ways.

    It's also possible that the change of scene and routine has unsettled your mom and caused her to behave a bit more erratically.

    A place in a day centre would take the pressure off you and your dad - definitely a top priority!

    The health of the primary carer can often take a real beating in the process of looking after someone with AD, but if they go down the domino effect is staggering. We just visited my in-laws last weekend and had to really encourage my MIL to arrange to have a nurse come to give her and my FIL their flu shots.

    You're doing a great job :) .

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  15. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Thanks for saying that Sandi, I feel like if it had been a test I might have made a C-. I got angry with Mom a couple of times and we had a spat, something we never do. I didn't realize she couldn't turn on our shower because it is different than hers so she faked taking one. I didn't anticipate her anxiety at staying at my house and should have gone to hers instead. Let's see and I should have been there when she found her way to my closet and just stood there, while my husband was afraid to come out of the toilet area because she was there and he is in his undies. Oh and I shouldn't have gotten mad when she had a fit because I was cleaning her house ( I'd to the dance of joy if someone cleaned my house :D ) Of course alot of this is because I only got two hours sleep because I was guarding the front door to make sure she didn't leave the house in the middle of the night too!
    ALL of you that do this full time have my admiration and respect. My turn is coming and I hope I learn something from these episodes that are happeninng now.
    I really appreciate all of the encouragment your all giving me!
    Debbie
     
  16. storm

    storm Registered User

    Aug 10, 2004
    269
    notts
    Dear Jenny,You mentioned about trouble getting in the car well you can buy a swivel cushion which you place on the car seat and it swivels round freely you can buy them from argos and they even have a washable fleece cover on they are really useful. STORM
     
  17. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    520
    Hi ,i Believe You Can Request These Seats From The Occupational Therapist Dept , Funny How No One Tells You About What Is Available ,allso A Little Tip I Was Given By A Carer Was To Put A Large Plastic Bag On The Seat ,this Has The Same Affect ,worth A Try ,
     
  18. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    787
    Buckinghamshire
    Transport

    I have ordered the swivel seat/cushion, in the hope that it will enable us to assist my husband in getting OUT of the car. However, he would not feel safe getting in 'bottom first', as he is used to 'climb' in. I just hope that we get another chance at 'climbing in' so that we can, at least, test my theory of getting out again with the swivel cushion (if you follow my train of thought ....).

    Sheila, I put exactly that question to the manager of the day centre: could he not be wheeled into the mini- bus ambulance in a wheelchair, as that would get around his anxiety about negotiating the couple of steps into it, and would also allow for a swift exit once they 'deliver' him back home. Her reply, after some consideration: "well, not really, as he doesn't actually NEED to use a wheelchair". I'm afraid words failed me - - - you have restored my faith in my own judgement, as I was beginning to feel I had some truly barmy ideas. Could it be that they (the Day Centre) are simply taking the easy way out by asking me to collect him?
     
  19. McK

    McK Registered User

    Sep 13, 2005
    62
    Pgh. Pa. USA
    Safe Return

    Dear Rummy, It sounds like you're having your hands full now, and unfortunatly, in the case of your mom, everyday living patterns are going to change. Maybe you've heard of the Alzheimer's Assoc. Safe Return program which helps identify, locate and return individuals who are memory impaired due to Alzheimer's disease or a related disorder. The assoc. provides an identity bracelet or necklace, clothing labels and wallet cards to identify the memory impaired individual. They are registered in a national database; a 24-hour toll free 800 number to contact when one is lost or found; access to the NationalCrime Info, Computer with over 17,000 local law enforcement agencies to help find the missing person and a nationwide network 0f 220 community-based Alzheimer's Assoc. chapters to provide info. This is a free service provided for by the Alzheimer's Assoc. You can call 1-800-272-3900 for further info. I know that these are trying times for you and your family and no one knows how long the road is going to be. I hope you take advantage of the "Day Care Center" so that you and yours get a few hours in the day to take care of your own matters. Best Wishs, McK
     
  20. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Debbie, how is your Dad now? This spate with your Mum, you can build on it to help him when he comes home you know. He will not be able to cover things up for her so easily now, as you are fully aware of the strain he was under 24/7. Use it to help both of them. In the nicest, kindest, diplomatic way you can with love of course. Thinking of you, love She. XX
     

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