Hello, together/Katherine,
I've read your first blog entry and you do need to let it all out. Somehow - or other. You've got to release it all - how you do that is up to you. But out is better than in.
I have the most enormous empathy with what you have written - because I also have the most horrific memories that will not go away of my own relative's days in a care home, and then in hospital. Those memories will be with you for a long time. So whatever way you can find to let it all out - do it. It won't make the memories go away - but it may allow you to breathe again.
Don't even consider the "I let her down" option. You were not in control of the care home, so it is they who let her down. Not you. Definitely not you.
My own personal choice has been not to write it all on TP - but I've written it all elsewhere. I've blogged it from start to (almost) finish and I have received an amazing amount of support from others who have been there and walked the walk and worn similar shoes. Sadly, support for unusual situations doesn't always come your way on TP. But, once you get your blog going, it may well come your way.
Your blog was not a Draft - otherwise I wouldn't have been able to read it. I hope!!!
And if it was a Draft, there's a serious problem with TP's software. Because it is not allowing you to protect your privacy.
Your blog also shows 'together has no blog entries to display.' So there's something strange at work in the Blog Department.
Or it may be all to do with whichever 'button' you pressed when you set up your blog. (My TP blog was set up before this new - horrible!! - software version came into being.)
But your Blog is not a Draft.
Link to together's blog:
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/blog.php?15725-together
Title: Memories to lose
Please, TP software team, help.