A very sudden & heartbreaking downturn

[Butter]

I'm so glad.

Yes I'm sure you have horrendous memories. I think we are like rolling stones that do gather moss: rolling with memories which may inform our brains and our skills in a useful way ..... but sure as heck land us with things to make us fearful and rock our confidence.

 

[glennie]

Hi Lady A, my hubby has been worse during this hot weather..sleeping a lot and being extra depressed. Up till now I haven't had to go thu what you have, he dresses himself
and is quite lucid...I find it so hard to try and motivate him..looking after someone with dementia, is like walking in the dark. Like Wm, he still speaks affectionately, but times he has that glazed look in his eyes and starts talking about things that happened in 1969, when we lived in Essex, he did a course at night school for Accountancy and starts getting ready to go...Trying to explain it was long ago, is hard work.
You sounded exhausted. Hope you sort out how to get him to take his antibiotics and his chest infection clears up. I mean this sincerely...TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Even though we haven't met, I send a big hug.glennie

 

[Saffie]

I'm glad things look as though they are bit better for you, and William too, and matters have eased a little.
Sometimes I can tell that Dave has no idea who I am, at others it seems obvious that he can and there again, sometimes he seems to think I'm his nurse, doctor, teacher, mother - you name it and I've probably been, it in his eyes! The reason I don't really know for certain is that he can rarely communicate and even then what he says doesn't make much sense. I just go along with whatever he wants.

I hope the ABs help to narmalise things as far as they can, very soon.

 

[LadyA]

I'm glad things look as though they are bit better for you, and William too, and matters have eased a little.
Sometimes I can tell that Dave has no idea who I am, at others it seems obvious that he can and there again, sometimes he seems to think I'm his nurse, doctor, teacher, mother - you name it and I've probably been, it in his eyes! The reason I don't really know for certain is that he can rarely communicate and even then what he says doesn't make much sense. I just go along with whatever he wants.

I hope the ABs help to narmalise things as far as they can, very soon.

That's exactly how William is, communication wise. He usually says little, and what he does, it's so hard to make out what he means. He never finishes a sentence - not even halfway. And often he makes "sentences" out of words that are not real words, and when I say "what was that you said?" he'll just respond "yeah." Very frustrating - especially when he thinks he has asked a question, and is waiting for an answer!

We got liquid antibiotics today, and I managed to get two doses in. I also split up his bedtime tablets, and now give the anti-psychotic about an hour or so before bed time so that he only has to take one tablet at a time. He had been getting both anti psychotic and molipaxin (trazadone) at bedtime, and he would put both in together and then be holding them in his mouth for ages while I tried to get him to swallow them. It seems to work better this way - he only has one to do.

I did wonder today if maybe he is having a problem swallowing liquids - they might be a bit more difficult to swallow than food. He is so inclined to just take a couple of mouthfuls and then leave drinks. So I got some milkshakes today, and will try those - andything to get fluid in. He is in better form today although still quite tired. He's already in bed and asleep. Hope he stays that way!

 

[Butter]

You do seem to be managing incredibly well .... the over-view you have, combined with the minutiae of the moment-by-moment, is pretty awe-inspiring. I just hope you are getting enough you-time and enough wedding-time.

 

[LadyA]

You do seem to be managing incredibly well .... the over-view you have, combined with the minutiae of the moment-by-moment, is pretty awe-inspiring. I just hope you are getting enough you-time and enough wedding-time.

Me time? *insert hollow laughter here* - well today I did get the two hours in the afternoon when a lady from the Alz. Soc. came. I raced into town to pick something up that a shop had been holding for a month for me! The lady knew I would be in for it when I got a chance and knows my circumstances, so didn't mind holding it.

Wedding time - well, I've now done a few practice sessions on dau's make-up, and have it down to where I can get her full face done - everything from primer through to the last bit of lipstick - in less than 40 minutes, which is pretty good. And she actually went to a photographer the other day, who had some sort of special deal on, and got a couple of pics taken with the make-on, so she could see how it looked in photos - and she loved it. She kept saying she really wanted to look "like a much prettier me" - but she didn't want to be very obviously "made-up" in her photographs. And that's how it came out in the pics - she looked like someone who had perfect skin, beautiful cheekbones, and lovely eyes - but you couldn't see the make-up! Well pleased.

 

[Butter]

It is clearly a work of art. Or rather, she is!

 

[LadyA]

It is clearly a work of art. Or rather, she is!

Make-up, like clothes, goes in fashions. Dau had her make-up done by a "professional" make-up artist once. She came home seething. "Look at me! I'm brown! I kept telling her I don't do bronzer! I am naturally very pale skinned. But no - THREE TIMES!! she went with the bronzer! All over my face!! You never use bronzer all over my face!" When she calmed down, she agreed that she looked perfectly fine - but she looked exactly like every other girl walking around town. Mostly girls in late teens and very early twenties. She is 28 - although looks a lot younger. Beyond the heavy eyeliner, thick foundation and fake tan stage.

 

[Saffie]

I did wonder today if maybe he is having a problem swallowing liquids - they might be a bit more difficult to swallow than food. He is so inclined to just take a couple of mouthfuls and then leave drinks. So I got some milkshakes today, and will try those - andything to get fluid in. He is in better form today although still quite tired. He's already in bed and asleep. Hope he stays that way!

Funny you should mention that. Dave has been holding his drink in his mouth lately and yesterday, he just let it all come out of his mouth - twice. He was soaked and I'm wondering it this is a passing thing or a deterioration.

 

[LadyA]

Managed to get his liquid antibiotic in both times today, although he was reluctant. He did refuse one of his tablets - the afternoon molipaxin, but I persuaded him, and he eventually took it. No problems with the evening ones - again I gave him the anti psychotic earlier so he had only one to take at bed time. Lordy, but I am completely exhausted today though. I don't know when I have ever felt so tired. I've fallen askeep several times, and am still exhausted.

 

[BeckyJan]

I do understand how difficult it is having been through some of it myself. You are doing a wonderful job and I wish I could do more to help.

Take some comfort from knowing other members here have been through similar experiences and will be feeling for you.

 

[lilysmybabypup]

LadyA, just catching up again. You're living the same life Mum had been for the last 18 months, and she had me there for much of the time. You would be exhausted, I hate the battles, trying everything under the sun to get meds in, to eat some food, to dress or undress, and now to drink.

Each battle results in sheer exhaustion, I felt like giving up. Dad has now gone into a nursing home because he can't walk and Mum is becoming seriously ill. It has been absolute desolation for our family but I've now learned that the battles are no longer ours to wage. I was there every day to get him to eat, take meds, drink, get into the lifter to be showered or changed, it has broken me. Now I go and hold his hand, kiss his brow, tell him how we love him, then I leave before dinner so I no longer feel responsible for whether he eats, drinks or takes meds. I'm still learning how to accept the situation but there has been no other choice for us.

I've walked your road, and Mum has crawled it, so my wish for rest and fortitude is sincere.

Take care,
Stephanie, xxx

 

[Margaret938]

Hello Lady A
Catching up on your posts, I wish you could do my face, make me look pretty !!!??
I never wear make up now, I used to wear it all the time. My Mum would be horrified, she never went out the door without her make up on, my sister was the same.
I am just lazy I guess.
Take care, hope William is better today.
Love Margaret x

 

[LadyA]

I don't wear it much myself these days - probably takes too long to do, the older I get!

Well, I've managed to get the liquid antibiotic into him for two and a half days, which is better than I'd hoped. He balked a bit yesterday at his tablets, but was persuaded into taking them. He's in good form today so far - gone for a lie down now. I'm scoffing down a caramel baked custard. Yum. Desperate attempt to use up some eggs - I have loads of eggs in the fridge at the moment, so made the custard and have a chiffon cake in the oven.

 

[Margaret938]

All these yummy desserts sound great
Love Margaret x

 

[Butter]

Pity you can't post the eggs.

I put make-up on once.

 

[LadyA]

Pity you can't post the eggs.

I put make-up on once.

I could take them with us to Neverland, for eggnog?

 

[Butter]

Egg cell end