Coletta,
It seems like I've moved on a bit as I've had almost a week of improvement and am running better. The best part is that my head is clearer and I've at last started writing the story of our Alzheimer's journey.
I'm sure that there have been many personal stories written, so why should I write mine? There are two reasons, one is to free me of the frustrations of what I read and what I've observed along my lone caring journey. The second reason and most important is to share a different perspective of how I saw and reacted to the illness.
When I removed my wife from a NH, I was angry and upset at the whole system. Mostly, I objected to the manner in which the 'experts' or 'professionals' were coming between my wife and I. At the time we had been married 47 years and yet I was told off for cutting her toenails, and was asked to leave the room whilst 'carers' changed her pad. As I knew her far better than anyone else and had been caring for her at home for 7 years, plus I'd changed her pads for about three years, I refused to leave her room.
The situation was detrimental to both our healths. Only one option remained: move to a smaller house and take her home to care for her on my own before it was too late. Thank God I chose to go with my heart, as for almost eight months it was touch and go, but in the end she pulled through. Fortunately I've retained her medical file that contain all the entries on my wife's progress and remarks about my refusal to accept help, plus the fact that she was dying. To cover themselves they entered details of my refusal to continue some treatments. In the end they saw she was making a good recovery, they vanished from the scene and left me to get on with it for another four years.
Just maybe by sharing my story it will be of some benefit to others. This is likely to be my last post for some time.