A perfect death?


Registered User
Sep 14, 2006
East sussex
I really feel that I want to share the last few days that I spent with mum before she died on Sunday morning with you all.
The last time I had seen mum was last Wed when I took the children in to see her. She gave me the most beautiful smile ever that day and I thanked her. The children stood at the end of the bed and sang her songs and she watched and listened. I could tell that she was enjoying it. I wasn't really able to see her on Thurs and Fri but on Saturday we got a call from the NH at about 8am to say that her breathing had changed. I got to the NH at about 9.45 and yes there had indeed been a change. Mum had stopped eating and drinking completely in the last 4 or 5 days.
I stayed with her all day and my brother arrived in the afternoon. She had started to have little seizures which at first were distressing to witness and then she had a big one that seemed to go on for well over a minute. This was in the afternoon. We made the decision to stay at her bedside overnight because we just didn't want to leave her. She seemed to be comfortable and I must say that throughout all of this there never seemed to be any pain with her which obviously gave us comfort. She suffered more small seizures throughout the night and we stroked her face and held her and told her not to fight it. Morning came and she was still with us thank God. At about 7.50am we both lwent home to freshen up and do what we had to do. Before we left mum we said to her " we are going now mum to freshen up but we will be back. Don't you dare do anything or go anywhere until we get back ". We said this semi seriously.
My brother went back to the NH at 9.45am. I arrived back at 10.45am and there had been a marked change in her colour. She was thankfully still alive though.I held her hand and stroked her arm and then I gave her a kiss and told her " I'm back now mum so we are both here again. You aren't alone ". I sat back down and was chatting to my brother when I glanced over at mum. I looked at her and couldn't see her chest moving. I pulled the cover slightly off her chest but it was still. Her eyes were half closed but were no longer moving. My brother checked for a pulse but nothing. " I think she's gone " I said to him and she had. She had waited until we were both there and quietly slipped away. I burst into tears because it was such a shock. She looked no different to how she had been looking and still looked incredibly peaceful. My lovely, beautiful, kind, funny mum had just quietly slipped away from us. There was no drama and I feel incredibly privelidged that she allowed us to be there at her passing. My mum was the most amazing woman ever and even in death she knew what she wanted and how she was going to achieve it.

Thank you mum.



Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
Dear LittleL,

I don't know what the perfect death would be, but your mum must come pretty close. What a moving story...thank you for sharing with us all.

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

Vonny xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear LittleL

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It was very moving.

I'm sure your mum waited until you and your brother were with her before she left you, she would kow how much that would mean to you.

I hope it will give you comfort to know how peaceful the end was, and how much you all knew you were loved.


Matt's mum

Registered User
Jun 25, 2009
South wales
littlel I am so sorry for the loss of your mam I also believe that your mam waited for you and your brother to say goodbye.
I lost my mam last year and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, although my son was with my mam when she passed.
Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Take care
ally x
Last edited:

Sam Iam

Registered User
Sep 29, 2008
Hi LitteL,
It must be a great comfort to you and your brother, to see that your Mum's passing was peaceful and dementia can no longer harm her.xx
Thank you for shareing you Mum's last few days with us and condolences on her passing. xx


Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
Dear Little L

That was such a moving account of your mum's final hours and although I am so sorry for your loss, I am glad that you were able to all be together at this precious time.

I am sure you know that Talking Point is here for you in your time of loss should you have the need.

My sincere condolences Little L.


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Hi Little
your story brought tears to my eyes.
I wasnot able to be with my Peg when she left this world,one regret that I have


Registered User
Jul 19, 2009
That brought tears to my eyes, how wonderful that your mother waited for you to be there when she passed away. I send you my sincere condolences. Pauline x


Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
East Midlands
Hello LittleL..

Thankyou for sharing with us your mum's passing...peaceful and pain free..with her loved ones beside her.

Please remember that TP will always be here for you.

Love xx

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
North Derbyshire
Oh, LittLel, that must be the most perfect ending to your mum's life. Peaceful and with her close family there. She must have hung on for you, trusted you to be there with her, relied on you.

I am so sorry for your loss, but I hope you can take great comfort from the manner in which she left you.

Much love



Registered User
Sep 14, 2006
East sussex
Just to say thank you all for your kind messages over the last few days. I shall of course pop in to TP every now and again for the support that the forum gives me. I would just like to say though that I would absolutely and without question do it all again. I know the experience has changed me a lot and it will be forever in my memory. I have felt honoured and privelidged especially over the last two weeks that I spent with my beautiful mum.

RIP now mum.

Much love and hope to you all,

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