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A long long happy death

myheadisinaspin

Registered User
Nov 6, 2008
310
0
marlow bucks uk
i posted here in 2008 when my mum first got diagnosed with Alzheimer's . its been a long long long 15 years of the disease and she has finally been allowed to pass over which she did on valentines day this year 2021 . although i feel numb, i am also relived to finally put this to rest. we had some difficult years with mum but some very rewarding ones too. its often frowned upon when people say sorry for your loss. and you reply. its ok we are pleased shes gone. without a thought to the length of time we have grieved the loss many years previous. never be ashamed to admit you are happy they have passed. peace comes to all including the deceased. we loved our mum and that love allowed her to go peacefully too. aged 74 she was 59 years young when she was diagnosed
 

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Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,830
0
69
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read of your mum’s passing. Sending my condolences. I’m glad she’s now at peace.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
58
0
I’m sorry you lost your dear Mum, but I do understand why you’re pleased for her too. It must be a relief to see an end to the suffering (Hers and yours). I love your honesty. Take care xx
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,705
0
Those pic's of your mum show a happy and contented woman: a fun and loving mum who will surely be remembered.
I'm very sorry for your loss; celebrate your mum and peace to you and your family.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,555
0
Dorset
As I said when people were sympathetic after The Banjoman died “It was the kindest thing for him”.
It will still take time for you to get your head around the whole thing so I send my best wishes.
Carol.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
515
0
Sending my condolences for your loss, but also understand when you say " its ok we are pleased shes gone".

Take care x
 

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
608
0
i posted here in 2008 when my mum first got diagnosed with Alzheimer's . its been a long long long 15 years of the disease and she has finally been allowed to pass over which she did on valentines day this year 2021 . although i feel numb, i am also relived to finally put this to rest. we had some difficult years with mum but some very rewarding ones too. its often frowned upon when people say sorry for your loss. and you reply. its ok we are pleased shes gone. without a thought to the length of time we have grieved the loss many years previous. never be ashamed to admit you are happy they have passed. peace comes to all including the deceased. we loved our mum and that love allowed her to go peacefully too. aged 74 she was 59 years young when she was diagnosed
It sometimes astonishes belief, the longevity of Alzheimer’s in a loved one and the fact that they have borne the disease with all its negativity and discomfort so very well. During the Caring, one wishes on an hourly basis for the dementia to end, for the one it inhabits to awake the next morning and be free of it all. We know that is a fantasy. So, when it does come to an end it is that unique human blessing - compassion - which knows it to be a goodly thing that the pain, distress, anxiety, fear, confusion and profound inability to explain or indeed understand the world around them, releases a loved one from all of that. Naturally, the absence of that loved one is something very hard to accept after all this time. But then we step back and say this is not all about me and we realise that the anxiety, frustration, expectations and sheer hard work was still worth every moment however exceedingly challenging at the time. If that Care has evolved from the heart then it will change you for the better and death becomes an element in that journey of Care and not a source of despair. After all, it is a path every single human being will tread and hopefully tread free of dementia in their lifetime.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,896
0
67
Toronto, Canada
My sympathies for the loss of your mother. I do understand your relief, as I'm sure she was no longer the same as she had been 15 years ago. My mother also had 15+ years after diagnosis and it is a difficult journey for all.