A life in the day of.........................

[Grannie G]

`Our son booked a table to take us out to celebrate our 45th. Wedding Anniversary last night. He booked the first sitting for 5pm.

This was eagerly awaited, and all day Dhiren was saying what a good son we have, how thoughtful he is, what a good idea it was to live here, how pleasant and peaceful it is here, no vandals, clean fresh air, and how much he was looking forwards to the meal.

Late afternoon, while we were waiting, sundowning came along. I sensed the change immediately.

S `Are you all right?`
D `How much longer will we stay here?`
S `We live here. We are not going anywhere else.`
D `I`m not staying here, just with you for the rest of my life.
S `Well it`s your choice`.

I was very upset, there was such spite in his expression.

We went for the meal, it was lovely. We both managed an act. Dhiren really can cover up when he wants to. No-one would have known anything was wrong.

We came home and gave each other the silent treatment. He fell asleep in the chair, then went to bed.

I went to bed much later, couldn`t settle, got up at 5am.

He got up went into the garage, still wearing only pyjamas, to get a suitcase. He was going to his grandmother`s. I screamed at him go get back inside, he couldn`t go to his grandmother, she was dead, he couldn`t go anywhere, no-one would have him.
It was not one of my better moments.

Going away is the only solution he can think of to give me peace. He doesn`t know why I am upset. He only knows why he is upset.

I thought we`d passed that stage.

 

[gigi]

Oh Dear, Sylvia..I want to wish you Happy Anniversary!

Not really appropriate..but am thinking of you and hope your day gets better.

Eric is pretty confused thismorning..he thinks it's Whit Sunday..it can't be Easter because that's always on the 1st..(confused)

Love Gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Thank goodness for Paul.

He`s come to watch the football with Dhiren, they`ll put the football world to rights during the next couple of hours and hopefully, peace will reign. [And I`ll have a break]

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Dear Sylvia,
I'm sorry to hear you had such a rough anniversary yesterday. Dhiren seems to have been in such a mood, I'm not surprised you got upset with him.

So it wasn't one of your better moments - so what? I lost it with my mother many times too and I wasn't taking care of her 24/7 the way you are with Dhiren. You are under the most incredible stress and it's only natural that you will have your moments too.

Put it behind you and move ahead.

Much love,

 

[christine_batch]

Reading about the stomach bug some weeks ago, I was so thankful that Peter's Care Home had escaped it.

Until a phone call this morning saying all of the E.M.I. Unit had it and no visting.
Why does it always seem to happen weekends and holiday times?
If it is not emergency visits to A & E, it is something else that we have to deal with.

For all those people who travel long distances weekends and holiday times to visit and it turns out to be a wasted visit.
I promise not to touch Peter's Easter Eggs and will give them to him when he is better, then I suppose he will be confused about Easter as he was about Christmas and his birthday.

Best wishes
Christine

 

[Cliff]

Hello Sylvia,

So sorry your day and night went all wrong.

But I thought I was the only one who climbed the wall, shouted inwardly, burst into tears in the toilet, wondered how I am going to face the next refusal, etc etc etc.

You're not Superwoman really, you're human after all.................

Love to you both,

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Cliff,
How did you know I burst into tears in the toilet?
Lovexx

 

[BeckyJan]

Sylvia and Cliff; Isn't that what we ALL do???
Love to all
(D is still in hospital awaiting rehab - he thinks he is in a nursing home )
Jan

 

[Cliff]

In some dreadful way, it is good to know we poor human carers are all in the same boat.

My latest hazard was a complete, absolutely uncompromising refusal to sit on the toilet seat - but the anticipated flood on the bathroom carpet (plastic of course) never happened.

The morning helper didn't arrive so was doing the toileting myself. They don't have these problems. Dee is a cuddly little angel so does Dee know/sense/realise/enjoy my involvement and deliberately wind me up ?

Maybe there is an Alzheimer's fact sheet on this somewhere.

Lots of love to all,

 

[Skye]

Dear Cliff, Jan and Sylvia

Much love and sympathy to you all. I too know all about the tears in the toilet -- now I can cry wherever I want, and that's no fun either!

I'm sorry I haven't any practical suggestions. Just wanted to let you know I care.

Love to all,

 

[Grannie G]

Oh dear. I don`t know which is worse, to cry in the toilet or to have a whole empty house to cry in.

Cliff, your Dee reminds me of a child who plays the parents up but is as good as gold for others.

Love to all who cry and also to those who don`t, the bottlers.

 

[Cliff]

Dear Sylvia,

I think you are right, for some reason just like a child, Dee is playing me up.

After a bad session of "sun-downing" and having struggled to get Dee into bed and tucked in, she smiles so innocently and sweetly that I think: "why did I have all that difficulty not five minutes ago !"

Then, satisfied, Dee closes her eyes and drops off to sleep in minutes. There is no conversation so I'll never know.

Do hope your problems ease off now, love to you both

 

[Grannie G]

We went for a walk today. The first this month.

It was so cold but sunny and bright and beautiful.

Dhiren shuffled along, taking tiny steps, looking a bit like Charlie Chaplin. He was taking about six steps to my one. He held my hand so tightly, he hurt my fingers, his eyes were practically on the pavement, looking for cracks and uneven flagstones, he was so frightened of falling.

We walked for 30 minutes. We couldn`t talk, too much concentration was required just to walk.

S `Have you had enough now?`
D `No. I could walk for another hour at least.`
S `I`m too cold. Let`s go home.`
D `If you want, we`ll go home. But I could walk for another hour at least.`

So we came home, because it was too cold for me.

 

[annmitt]

Bless you Sylvia, hope you felt better after your walk.

 

[TinaT]

Sylvia
Your posts are an inspiration to me. I try to follow your example - sometimes succeed, somentimes not.
xxTinaT

 

[Grannie G]

Well, who would believe it?

This morning Dhiren went for his annual diabetic eye screening. I was on pins because of his `poorly controlled` blood glucose levels.

When the examination was over I asked the practitioner if there was any change.
`Yes there has been a change,`she said, ` it is much better than last year.` Not at all what I`d expected to hear, but very good news.


We`d taken a taxi to keep the appointment but decided on a bus home, as it was quite pleasant.
On the journey, for the first time in five years, Dhiren was so aware, he passed comments showing he knew how far we were from home. `Not much further now.` `Nearly home.`


Once home I had to go out again. I was only out for 45 minutes. I arrived home to find a very anxious Dhien getting ready to go out to look for me. I reassured him I had no intention of coming to any harm whilst I was out, and tried to lighten his mood by telling him I`d bought him a present.
`You are my present.` he said.

Looks like today is a good day.

 

[jenniferpa]

How lovely Sylvia

 

[gigi]

`You are my present.` he said.

Oh Sylvia..how wonderful that is...

Isn't it strange that when you think you've lost the person that was..they suddenly reappear..

I'm so happy for you....

Love Gigi xx

ps..Good news about the eyes too!!!

 

[Grannie G]

I must admit it compensated .

 

[Skye]

`You are my present.` he said.

That must have made your day, Sylvia.

Definitely one for the memory box.

Love,