A life in the day of.........................

[Sooe]

Oooops sorry all.....don't mean to be hiding or anything dodgy, but had not remembered even giving what is now my user name....def used to use something else!!!! Thanks anyway x

 

[Kathphlox]

Oooops sorry all.....don't mean to be hiding or anything dodgy, but had not remembered even giving what is now my user name....def used to use something else!!!! Thanks anyway x

Hi sooe

I definitely hide.... unless I choose not to in a controlled environment like a private forum, It's not dodgy in any way, it's self preservation and you are in control

 

[Grannie G]

I hadn`t seen Dhiren for 9 days but his greeting was the same as ever. The `missing` was certainly one sided, on my part, not his.

I planned to spend longer with him today to make up for lost time, but after I`d been with him a couple of hours he suddenly said `Go home now.` It was quite a shock to hear this. He wasn`t cross or fed up, he wasn`t even tired. It was just a simple statement.

As I gathered my things together, he said `You can write to me.`

So I will.

 

[Christin]

Oh Sylvia, I am sorry to read this. It must have been so disappointing for you and I hope you are okay.

On t'he bonus side, you know that being away didn't cause Dhiren any distress. Writing a letter can be fun, do you have some photos to pop in?

xx

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Oh Sylvia, I hope you aren't too discombobulated by Dhiren's words. They probably slipped out one moment, along with the feeling behind them, if there were any, and possibly completely forgotten twenty minutes later. I'd be willing to bet a good deal that Dhiren will be very pleased to see you next time. But writing might be a blessing in more than one way. It would give him something tangible to enjoy in your absence, I'm sure.
x

 

[nellbelles]

Sylvia

I expect that remark was a bit of a blow, no matter how well things seem to be there is always something to knock us back.

Still the positive as you say he is content in his world and is always pleased to see you, maybe a suitable picture postcard would give him some repeated pleasure.

Helen x x

 

[Grannie G]

Oh I didn`t relate it properly. Sorry.

I was shocked but in a surprised way. I wasn`t upset or offended he wanted me to go. Either he had forgotten who I was for a while or was just expressing how he felt. I thought he was quite clever, at least he can still make his needs known.

I have written a notelet to him. I will post it on Monday for him to get on Tuesday, which is a day I`m not planning to go.

 

[jeany123]

Oh I didn`t relate it properly. Sorry.

I was shocked but in a surprised way. I wasn`t upset or offended he wanted me to go. Either he had forgotten who I was for a while or was just expressing how he felt. I thought he was quite clever, at least he can still make his needs known.

I have written a notelet to him. I will post it on Monday for him to get on Tuesday, which is a day I`m not planning to go.

How sensible of you not to take it to heart,



Jeany x

 

[Izzy]

That's very interesting Sylvia. I do think it takes a really special and strong relationship for you to be in a place where you can accept this kind of comment for what it is. I think it's really nice that you're going to write him a note. I'll be interested in hearing what he thinks of receiving it. x

 

[Butter]

I am finding such remoteness a challenge. I had explained to me that people sometimes distance themselves from their beloveds in order to try and protect them. (Not protect themselves.)

Or maybe that is psycho-babble?

I am glad your husband can still read ok.

 

[Grannie G]

I am finding such remoteness a challenge. I had explained to me that people sometimes distance themselves from their beloveds in order to try and protect them. (Not protect themselves.)

Or maybe that is psycho-babble?

I think it might be.
I think the remoteness happens when there is emotional confusion , low self esteem, paranoia and the person is unsure of their role.

I am glad your husband can still read ok

I`m not sure he can read a full sentence Butter or even a phrase. He tends to pick out odd words.

I have written;
Dear Dhiren,
I will be coming to see you tomorrow.
I hope you feel well and happy.
Love Sylvia xx

We shall see.

 

[Sue J]

I have written;
Dear Dhiren,
I will be coming to see you tomorrow.
I hope you feel well and happy.
Love Sylvia xx

We shall see.

Would it help to include your photo Sylvia? Forgive me if you think not.
Sue
x

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Sue.

I have already sealed the envelope so will see how this letter is received. I know one of the carers will open it for him, for he will not know there is anything inside, so I should get an accurate account.

If he doesn`t know who it`s from I will insert a photo next time.

 

[Helen33]

Dhiren's statement 'go home' could be another demonstration of how content he is. I can imagine you fully appreciating his contentment and that would make you feel content yourself rather than sad. If you'd picked up anything of rejection in his way of speaking to you, I think you would have posted it. Rather than that, it seemed to be a post of how peaceful and content he is. He seems to have recovered from the tooth extractions as well

Love

 

[Grannie G]

He seems to have recovered from the tooth extractions as well
Love

Even so Helen, I didn`t take chocolate.

 

[Grannie G]

The saga of the sore mouth continues.

Dhiren complained of toothache last week. He also complained of toothache to paul on Sunday.

The dentist visited him today. neither the home nor I had been informed of her visit.

The gums are not healing so an antibiotic has been prescribed.

What a shame it was not prescribed when I asked on 10th July.

This toothache has been suffered on and off since February.

 

[Butter]

At last he has the treatment he needs. Maybe it will be easier for you to insist on close observation and intervention from now on? It is good your husband is able to complain of pain. I hope the carers hear him, not just you and your son. February to August is a long time.

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Butter.

I always promised keeping my husband pain free is of prime importance. Even though he is in a really good home I have been unable to do this because it depended on the cooperation of the dentist , who does not know us and perhaps does not understand dementia.

But this experience , as far as his dental pain is concerned, hopefully might not be repeated.

 

[nellbelles]

I realise that blanket prescribing of antibiotics is not a good thing generally, but I'm sure an earlier prescription would not have been detrimental to Dhiren, one day some of these experts are going to walk in our shoes.

Helen x

 

[Loopiloo]

The saga of the sore mouth continues.

The dentist visited him today. neither the home nor I had been informed of her visit.

The gums are not healing so an antibiotic has been prescribed.

What a shame it was not prescribed when I asked on 10th July.

Yes it is a shame, Sylvia.

Also if the home had been informed of the dentist's visit, and then informed you, then you could have been there as Dhiren's voice. I hope the antibiotics do help and kick in soon.

Loo xx