A life in the day of.........................

[ROSEANN]

Dear Sylvia

Cannot add much to what the others have said and so I a sending you lots of love.
You know where I am if you need to talk.
Love Roseann xx

 

[scarletpauline]

Just wanted to say nothing I can add but to tell you I send you my love, Pauline xxx

 

[Izzy]

Me too, Sylvia. I find it amazing that you can still find time to give so much help and support to others whilst you are facing all those difficulties yourself. Take care. Izzy x

 

[zoet]

Sylvia, you are an amazing person, strong, brave, and supremely devoted. This sadly does look like a change downwards, but dont lose faith, there will be ways to learn to cope with this. I find it unbearably sad to read of your husbands connection with you gently slipping from him, and your heart must ache with the loss. He must love you so very deeply to be concerned for you whilst he copes with his confusion. I hope that you will find the extra support and respite very soon so you can rest. A big hug and lots of love for you Sylvia. xxx

 

[Grannie G]

I am at a loss to respond to so much support appropriately. `Thank you` is inadequate.

I have been trying to decide how I feel and what I want but it is impossible.
The manager of the good home will be away for a fortnight so I have time to think. When she returns, if a bed does become available she might be able to offer me a week`s respite before the room is taken by the next resident.
It gives me two weeks to see how Dhiren`s behaviour develops and whether there is an increase in his falling.

Dhiren has been restless again this evening but did not go walkabout. He took his shoes off so I took them into the bedroom and brought his slippers. He put his slippers on.
Five minutes later he left the room and returned with his shoes back on again.
This makes me fidgety. What is he planning? Is he planning, or am I becoming over anxious?
And he asked me to get him some money tomorrow. How much does he need? £500.

WE have had a sitter for four months. It has worked better than I could ever have hoped.
I can only hope for the same for the next stage.

 

[nellbelles]

Sylvia

So sorry that it is all changing so quickly for you both, the falls are not good. Would Dhiren accept a frame, never thought my Dad would but in the end it thought it was good to get up the garden.

Although if he did would it worry you that he could wander off.

Hell for every question there is a dozen answers.

 

[Grannie G]

Funny Helen but when the physio visited only recently, a frame was not even mentioned although a walking stick was recommended.
I don`t know what to do for the best. He was so distant tonight, he refused all help .

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Sylvia

I cannot imagine what you must be going through just now. My heart is in my mouth as I read your thread. Just wondered though if Dhiren has just started falling, has he been checked out for infection? Mum used to fall infrequently but when the falls started we generally discovered that she had a UTI. It took a little while for us to find the correlation as she had no outward, obvious, external signs of it..it would just show up in a sample.(Once we managed to get one!)

We did discuss the walking frame with the home nurses at the time and the comments they gave me at that time were that a frame would be of use if someone had it pre-dementia but generally they had found that most people could not learn to use one as the dementia progressed because they could not find the co-ordination required. I don't know how it would be for Dhiren, but maybe this is why the physio suggested the stick instead.

(((Hugs))) to you and Dhiren.

Love

Mameeskye

 

[Grannie G]

Mameeskye, I think you are right about the frame. I`m sure if Dhiren had one he would try to pull himself up with it.


I had a phone call this afternoon from the OT/Physio from the Community Care Team. This was the person who tried to work with Dhiren but was only successful on the third attempt, and that was the occasion when Dhiren asked her help him to get away from this prison.

She needed to do some observations, BP, Blood and urine tests but she really seemed not to want to come if it would waste her time and Dhiren would refuse to co operate.

She asked what I thought. I said I could never speak for Dhiren as he was so unpredictable. I didn`t want to waste her time, but on the chance he would comply, I wanted to leave no stone unturned.

I asked if she would mind if I told Dhiren she was a nurse sent by the GP to do some tests to save him having to go to the surgery. She agreed.
He thought it was wonderful, said people were so kind and thoughtful.

She came, he cooperated in every way, she was very surprised. She was seeing a different person.
I told her I was glad she`d seen him in a more positive light.
She said it must be really hard for me.

 

[jenniferpa]

She said it must be really hard for me.

Never a truer word spoken. I do think it's the unpredictability of dementia that grinds one down, and the thing that people who haven't lived with it, day in, day out, don't get.

 

[Bookworm]

A really sensitive & intelligent man who likes to be treated with respect!! So pleased it went well this time, xox

 

[burfordthecat]

Sylvia

I was glad to read that it all went well this afternoon. Long may it continue.

Love Carina x x x

 

[sad nell]

So pleased for Dirhen and you that it went so well, the nurse sent from gp was a storke of geniue Sylvia, have a good weekend love Pam

 

[sad nell]

meant to read stroke of genius, really must read posts before i press the button

 

[connie]

Dearest Sylvia, so glad that the appointment went well.

Now you have to play the waiting game........relentess I know.
At least you manage tp stay positive.

WE have had a sitter for four months. It has worked better than I could ever have hoped.
I can only hope for the same for the next stage.

Take care now. Love n'hugs.

 

[Grannie G]

We had a much easier day yesterday.
Dhiren slept all morning after exhausting himself getting bathed and dressed. While he was asleep I sat in the garden, right outside the back door, On Guard. And while I was sitting out I sewed name tapes, just in case. But it was quiet and peaceful.
After the community care person had gone Paul phoned and asked if we`d like to have dinner with them. He was making a Thai curry.
The only downer was Paul had to come for us and bring us home. I think this is the second time Dhiren has been unable to walk there.
We had no sundowning and a relatively peaceful evening.

 

[Helen33]

Morning Sylvia

Well I think if you ever needed an easier day it was yesterday I know it doesn't work in that we get what we need when caring for someone with these diseases but I do hope that you have an easier weekend and are able to recover a bit from the trauma of the week

Love x

 

[Grannie G]

I spoke too soon .
I can`t even go for the paper today as Dhiren is ready to go home now.
Nor can I take him with me as it is too far for him.

 

[burfordthecat]

Sylvia

That is not a good start to your day. and such a shame after your better day yesterday.

Fingers crossed that something manages to distract Dhiren and you both have a calmer time of it.

Love Carina x x x

 

[TinaT]

I hope that your afternoon was better than the morning Sylvia. It really is the daily 'grind' of it. There is never a moment in the day when you can relax and say, 'It's going to be OK for the next few hours'. Things change hour by hour don't they.

xxTinaT