Hello Fellow TPers,
I just wanted to share something that happened today. I have been looking after my Mum for over 10 years now, with dementia diagnosed 6 years ago. It has never been easy as she has had life long mental illness making her very difficult, selfish and critical. We had a single carer at dinner from Last August until December. I found her on the floor on New Years day and she has been there all night. The next door neighbour dismantled the door so I could get in. 6 weeks in hospital and they then kicked her out against the wishes of her social worker. She then had 3 daily carer visits. She would not cooperate. Would not eat, drink or allow them to help her with washing and dressing. I had to kick the bathroom door in. She flooded the bathroom and the kitchen ceilign came in. She refused point blank to go to respite. 3 weeks home and I again found her on the floor after being there all night and she was in hospital until 3 weeks ago.
three weeks ago she moved to a care home in our village. Its shabby but the staff are very loving which is what really matters. Mums next door neighbours daughter works there as a carer and is keeping a special eye on her.
So why this post? Well today I went to visit as I have done every day in the last 3 years. At home she had nothing good to say. In the hospital and the home she is actually happy. Today she told me this was the right move for her and that I had chosen well. She said "its a bit of life for me and a bit of life for you now". I was gobsmacked and cried in my car for 10 minutes before I could leave. Years of dread led up to the care home. It wont all be plain sailing but I plan to hold today in my memory to sustain me.
I am still recovering from that last 2 years and how hard it has been. I feel like I have been chewed up and spat out again. Time for us both to have a little bit of life.
I hope this story can help someone walking the same path.
love Quilty
I just wanted to share something that happened today. I have been looking after my Mum for over 10 years now, with dementia diagnosed 6 years ago. It has never been easy as she has had life long mental illness making her very difficult, selfish and critical. We had a single carer at dinner from Last August until December. I found her on the floor on New Years day and she has been there all night. The next door neighbour dismantled the door so I could get in. 6 weeks in hospital and they then kicked her out against the wishes of her social worker. She then had 3 daily carer visits. She would not cooperate. Would not eat, drink or allow them to help her with washing and dressing. I had to kick the bathroom door in. She flooded the bathroom and the kitchen ceilign came in. She refused point blank to go to respite. 3 weeks home and I again found her on the floor after being there all night and she was in hospital until 3 weeks ago.
three weeks ago she moved to a care home in our village. Its shabby but the staff are very loving which is what really matters. Mums next door neighbours daughter works there as a carer and is keeping a special eye on her.
So why this post? Well today I went to visit as I have done every day in the last 3 years. At home she had nothing good to say. In the hospital and the home she is actually happy. Today she told me this was the right move for her and that I had chosen well. She said "its a bit of life for me and a bit of life for you now". I was gobsmacked and cried in my car for 10 minutes before I could leave. Years of dread led up to the care home. It wont all be plain sailing but I plan to hold today in my memory to sustain me.
I am still recovering from that last 2 years and how hard it has been. I feel like I have been chewed up and spat out again. Time for us both to have a little bit of life.
I hope this story can help someone walking the same path.
love Quilty
