A fog free day and an unexpected surprise

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Quilty, May 17, 2015.

  1. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,051
    GLASGOW
    Hello Fellow TPers,

    I just wanted to share something that happened today. I have been looking after my Mum for over 10 years now, with dementia diagnosed 6 years ago. It has never been easy as she has had life long mental illness making her very difficult, selfish and critical. We had a single carer at dinner from Last August until December. I found her on the floor on New Years day and she has been there all night. The next door neighbour dismantled the door so I could get in. 6 weeks in hospital and they then kicked her out against the wishes of her social worker. She then had 3 daily carer visits. She would not cooperate. Would not eat, drink or allow them to help her with washing and dressing. I had to kick the bathroom door in. She flooded the bathroom and the kitchen ceilign came in. She refused point blank to go to respite. 3 weeks home and I again found her on the floor after being there all night and she was in hospital until 3 weeks ago.

    three weeks ago she moved to a care home in our village. Its shabby but the staff are very loving which is what really matters. Mums next door neighbours daughter works there as a carer and is keeping a special eye on her.

    So why this post? Well today I went to visit as I have done every day in the last 3 years. At home she had nothing good to say. In the hospital and the home she is actually happy. Today she told me this was the right move for her and that I had chosen well. She said "its a bit of life for me and a bit of life for you now". I was gobsmacked and cried in my car for 10 minutes before I could leave. Years of dread led up to the care home. It wont all be plain sailing but I plan to hold today in my memory to sustain me.

    I am still recovering from that last 2 years and how hard it has been. I feel like I have been chewed up and spat out again. Time for us both to have a little bit of life.

    I hope this story can help someone walking the same path.
    love Quilty
     
  2. Spiro

    Spiro Registered User

    Mar 11, 2012
    522
    So generous of you to share this story with us, Quilty. A win-win situation; long may it continue. I wish you and your Mum the best for the future.
     
  3. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    637
    What an amazing moment. Thank you for sharing.:)
     
  4. Tara62

    Tara62 Registered User

    I do so hope it continues to work out well for you both, Quilty.
     
  5. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,051
    GLASGOW
    Thanks to all of you. Things are going well and i am trying to live in the moment and not look ahead. I know i have done the right thing for her. God bless all the carers in care homes loving our special people. They are angels walking amongst us.
     

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