I began a thread on how to feed my dysphagic 96 year old father, but my 91 year old mother's shocking weight loss and exhaustion suddenly even more a worry to me.
She has always curled her hair every night, kept her house nicely, been a delight in conversation, being a writer, artist, intellectual and spirited, but is now "running the ship" 24/7, by sleeping in a cot in the hall, so she can watch my dad in his hospital bed in the living room.
She is self funding. Their savings are vanishing with the sets of carers that storm in daily to wash, dress, hoist, etc. my father, in late stage dementia.
I am now shocked at her appearance, -her face has a bruise that hasn't vanished in 5 months, and a cut that will not heal, her body is tiny, bent, -skin and bone. She looks shrunken and frail. My father's dementia has consumed her in the last years. He is now barely able to talk, incontinent, bed-bound- although we insist the carers put him on the recliner chair for 3 hours a day. He is dysphagic, so my mother spends hours preparing things for him to eat, which he will often refuse- and in feeding him. He is beautiful and unlined. He looks 30 years younger.
I feel now that she is the one who needs saving.
When my father dies, I want her to have money left, not have spent up the house. I want her to have choice in where and how she lives, but saving her health now is critical!
I have been visiting from America, having overstayed my 6 mos for two years now, so that I will not be allowed into the country again, when I leave in a month.
She has always curled her hair every night, kept her house nicely, been a delight in conversation, being a writer, artist, intellectual and spirited, but is now "running the ship" 24/7, by sleeping in a cot in the hall, so she can watch my dad in his hospital bed in the living room.
She is self funding. Their savings are vanishing with the sets of carers that storm in daily to wash, dress, hoist, etc. my father, in late stage dementia.
I am now shocked at her appearance, -her face has a bruise that hasn't vanished in 5 months, and a cut that will not heal, her body is tiny, bent, -skin and bone. She looks shrunken and frail. My father's dementia has consumed her in the last years. He is now barely able to talk, incontinent, bed-bound- although we insist the carers put him on the recliner chair for 3 hours a day. He is dysphagic, so my mother spends hours preparing things for him to eat, which he will often refuse- and in feeding him. He is beautiful and unlined. He looks 30 years younger.
I feel now that she is the one who needs saving.
When my father dies, I want her to have money left, not have spent up the house. I want her to have choice in where and how she lives, but saving her health now is critical!
I have been visiting from America, having overstayed my 6 mos for two years now, so that I will not be allowed into the country again, when I leave in a month.
