Morning Loo,
I have be re-reading some of my own threads and am now realising another benefit to talking to you all on TP I'm glad it helps you now and I hope it will help you in the future.
I'm glad you have TP to help you share how you feel. I hope today's visit is a good one. x
TP is just brilliant for being able to write about all the "stuff" going rund in your head, and I'm glad you're able to find help and friends here. You are dealing with so much and I so admire you xxxx
Thanks Helen, Izzy and Mary.
TP is a wonderful place to come.
I have spent most of this evening reading posts and marvelling. Many people here to be admired, Mary.
Yes today's visit was fairly good. Henry was relaxed and calm even although he asked when he was getting out of this place. Only the once. One brief mention of home. Later he asked "Where do you live?" I said the name of our town and he asked where was that and how far away. How did I get there, I said I drove, he said "I didn't know you drove. Is the car fine?" Then fifteen minutes after I arrived "You'd better go now and do your shopping before it is dark". I replied that I could wait for a while yet, it was only 2.30pm.
I was tempted to ask him his address which he has always known, along with his date of birth, but didn't want to go down the "going home" route. But I thought of reading on TP how many others talk about going home, but the home in their mind is not their present home. I wonder if this is now happening to Henry.
At one point he murmered he must go to the toilet, went to get up, and I said to use his zimmer, a few inches from his knees. "What's a zimmer?" ... "That thing? I don't need that, I can walk". I'm afraid he is never going to associate the zimmer with "walking", and his mobility is hardly that.
When I said I'd get someone to take him he said he needed now, could not wait, and "I'll just do it now". I don't know if he did or not but I called a nurse who took him to a neaby toilet.
A man sitting opposite us, usually calm, chatty, didn't look well and had had a painful procedure last time I visited, we could hear him cry out from his room. He had visitors earlier on this afternoon, was very pleasant with them, but changed after they left and became agitated. He is usually in the type of wheelchair you can move yourself, with the large wheels, but today was in the type that is pushed and was trying to move it towards the door by turning the ordinary wheels.
Said he wanted to go to the toilet, I said I'd wheel him into the corridor, and then I called a nurse. She said he has a catheter, took the wheelchair to turn it around and return him to the sitting room and I think his foot, too far out of the chair, caught on the furniture.
He started screaming really profane obscenities at the nurse. Henry about to lower himself into his chair suddenly turned round remarkably quickly and said "Hey! Hey! That's enough of that!"
Another brief glimpse of the Henry that once was. A brief glimpse of another side of the usually polite cheery, chatty chappy.
It has taken me a while to realize he has dementia as he usually holds a most interesting and intelligent conversation. Until one day he said "I forgot where I left the car in the car park today and I'm scared to go home and tell my Mummy and Daddy. That is why I'm staying here".
I left them silently glaring at each other across the room, with a carer sitting beside the other man, trying to calm him down. Before leaving I managed to distract Henry and left him smiling, waving to me.
Instead of his usual why are you not taking me home he was smiling when he asked when he would see me again.
The carers are wonderful with the patients. Oh to find a care home with similar.
Love
Loo xx