Hiya, this is my first post so let’s start with a bit of background, I’m 23 moved out of my mums around 4 and a half years ago with my partner and his family who we help care for as his parents are really ill. I have been helping take care of my mum since I was 10 (she is currently 63) however around a year ago she got diagnosed with early onset dementia after a long battle of getting her diagnosed as we have been noticing signs for about 3 years before that. Me and my 2 older sisters are her main careers and me and one of my older sisters have full time jobs. And my other older sister is quite ill herself however she is the one who had power of attorney for financing and health, even though I deal a lot with her doctors as when my mum had capacity she gave me permission to speak on her behalf. It’s all gone downhill very fast since she got diagnosed. She is now on 30mg of memantine which has only just been upped. She just argues about everything. All three of us take turns to do 2 days a week unless one of us is ill and has to do there day and my older brother takes her for a few hours once a day to sort out her medication (she takes alot) and do her dinner. My mum forgets to eat half of the time and she can’t cook, clean, needs assistants with washing and she cannot go out by herself as she’s not long moved (still in the same area) she use to drive but eventually was driving on the wrong side of the road so for obvious reasons she had to stop. She has just started getting violent as the other day she was grabbing and putting her nails into my older sister and today while we were doing food shopping in the middle of Tesco just started shouting at me calling me Mary and telling me that I couldn’t take Sophie, Chelsea and Sam away (me, my older sister and younger sister) away and grabbing my hand and arm shoving me around trying to run me over with her mobility scooter. She then calmed down and 5 minutes later she saw me as me and she was fine and couldn’t remember. She has also just left her flat (where she lives alone) and just gone to the shop as my older sister left money there but she got lost as she didn’t know where she was going and on numerous occasions will ring me up scared as she doesn’t know where she is or how to get back to Hendon (that’s where she lived when she was a kid). The issue I have is now me and one of my older sister think she definitely needs a lot more care than we can give but my eldest sister the one who has POA doesn’t think so and thinks we can do everything (I think it’s denial on her behalf so I can understand but it’s still frustrating as I just want what’s best for my mum). Has anyone been in this situation? What did they do? Can anyone offer any advice? I’m so overwhelmed with caring where I live now and caring for my mum plus I’m professionally a carer too. I just want to cherish these moments with my mum but I can’t as I’m just worried all the time.
Sorry this has been long.
Sorry this has been long.
