Some days I just sit and think about how much my dad has changed. Alzheimer's is so slow in its progression that I often don't notice how much he has changed.
First he was forgetting simple facts about me such as my age, my friends names or remembering to make dinner for when my sisters and I came home from school. Then his driving became careless and he was forced to stop altogether.
One day he bought my mum a Valentines card. I had to sit with him and basically show him how to spell and write again.
Then he was unable to cook. He used to be a chef so I found this particularly hard to watch.
Now he is a shell of his former self. I remember when I was a child my sisters and I used to laugh at him because no matter where we went with him, he would stop and talk to at least 5 people he knew. How he knew so many people I don't know. People absolutely adored him. They would go out of their way to talk to him.
His social skills are now non existent.
Today his daily routine consists of walks with our dog, day outs with his carer and watching television. It pains me to see him living like this. I always think to myself 'imagine if he could see himself right now?'.
What unfortunately makes everything twenty times worse is the fact that he is going to get gradually worse. I'm scared that I'm not cherishing the final years that I have with him. I don't want to live with regrets.
Sometimes when I get really upset about the whole situation all I can think about is the fact that he will not be there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. He will never meet his grandchildren. He will miss so many major events in my life and my sisters lives.
First he was forgetting simple facts about me such as my age, my friends names or remembering to make dinner for when my sisters and I came home from school. Then his driving became careless and he was forced to stop altogether.
One day he bought my mum a Valentines card. I had to sit with him and basically show him how to spell and write again.
Then he was unable to cook. He used to be a chef so I found this particularly hard to watch.
Now he is a shell of his former self. I remember when I was a child my sisters and I used to laugh at him because no matter where we went with him, he would stop and talk to at least 5 people he knew. How he knew so many people I don't know. People absolutely adored him. They would go out of their way to talk to him.
His social skills are now non existent.
Today his daily routine consists of walks with our dog, day outs with his carer and watching television. It pains me to see him living like this. I always think to myself 'imagine if he could see himself right now?'.
What unfortunately makes everything twenty times worse is the fact that he is going to get gradually worse. I'm scared that I'm not cherishing the final years that I have with him. I don't want to live with regrets.
Sometimes when I get really upset about the whole situation all I can think about is the fact that he will not be there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. He will never meet his grandchildren. He will miss so many major events in my life and my sisters lives.