Well here I am, 18 months on, starting to feel a bit more positive. I'ts terribly hard when you have no other family to share hopes and fears with. You don't want to burden your friends when you're struggling but those times, when you don't want to speak out, are exactly the times when you need extra input and support. I read all your opinions and decided that, for me, taking some time out would be for the best. I've now not been working for a year but I have achieved so much. The garage, shed, attic, 3 spare bedrooms and greenhouse have been cleared of 53 years worth of accumulated "stuff" from my hoarder of a DIY fanatic Father. Three old dead washing machine motors gone to the dump pretty much sums up all the rest I think, I could have opened a shop selling nothing but nuts, bolts and washers! I'm nearly finished with HMRC, boy are they slow!, and psyching myself up for putting my family home of my whole life on the market. Very scary times ahead. I,m going to be starting all over again, from scratch, all on my own. My best friend says it,s a fantastic opportunity but, OMG I,m terrified but also quite excited in a buttock clenching kind of way x