Mum's deterioration

[Anongirl]

Hi Raggedrobin. Spoke to the manager at mum's CH and she's still very concerned. She doesn't think the ab's have worked really, she thinks she is the same. She feels she is deteriorating, and quite rapidly. Those were her exact words. She said they are going to see how she goes this week and get the doctor out again. Then call me in for a chat. Worrying really.

Do you think your mum's care home are supportive of changes in your mum's condition? I asked about how they try to encourage mum to eat and she said they take it away and bring it back later and sometimes she will eat some.

She also said the toilet issue is a regular occurrence, they find her room soiled most mornings.

 

[jeany123]

AG how worrying about your poor mum, I hope she starts to pick up soon,

Hugs from Jeany xxx

 

[Anongirl]

I'm a bit worried they might decide they can't meet her needs Jeany123. I don't want her to move from there for as long as possible. Perhaps I'm jumping the gun and worrying unnecessarily. I don't like the words "deteriorating rapidly"

 

[Sue J]

Sorry to read about your Mum AG, I hope they can find some reason for change as it does sound as if it has been quite sudden.
Thinking of you
xxxx

 

[starryuk]

Hi Anongirl,

Do you think it is worth calling the GP out again tomorrow? I am a bit puzzled why the manager thinks your mum is deteriorating rapidly and yet isn't going to call the doctor for a week or so ( if I am understanding what you say). I think I would be wanting to try a different AB, in case your mum could improve.

So sorry this is happening, you must be sick with worry.

 

[Anongirl]

Hi StarryUK. Initially she said they would be ringing the GP to come back Tues (tomorrow) but on the phone tonight I'm sure she said they were going to see how she goes this week. I might have heard her wrong. I'm not sleeping well and my concentration is awful!

She did say after the GP visits she will call me in for a chat.

She said the Trazadone doesn't seem to be having much effect and the GP suggested trying it in the morning and evening but she said this can make people very sleepy. I just don't want things to spiral because I don't want her to move, it would be far too confusing for her. Thing is the CH she is in isn't a dementia CH, some residents do have dementia but many don't.

My tired brain is working overtime

 

[Sue J]

I agree with StarryUk AG, I think the GP should come sooner and not wait.

Such a worry for youxx

 

[Raggedrobin]

anongirl, don't most homes take people to end of life care providing they can fix up for nursing staff to come in? My mum is in a non dementia home too, but it is a nursing home, but I would be surprised if they wanted to move her, have they indicated that or is it just something you think they might do? i think you need to have a chat with the manager about that, you can't be worrying about a move at the same time as your mum is not doing well. X

 

[Anongirl]

They haven't suggested that at all RR, I think it's just a fear of mine. One of many!

Apart from her dementia she is fit and well (as far as I know) so doesn't need nursing care. I think it could be more behavioural with mum.

I will have a chat with the home this week and discuss my fears. The manager is very open and supportive so I know she will be honest with me.

Goodnight xxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hi AG - I have no advice but just wanted to say again how sorry I am that you and your mum are going through this, and to say that I know just how worn out you must feel. Worry on this scale is just exhausting, draining. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and recharge your batteries a little.

Night night xx

 

[Anongirl]

Thank you CG X

Wish I could do something but, as a friend of mine said to me, perhaps I can't help now maybe I just have to be there. I just feel helpless though.

I think it's time for me to visit my own GP again.

X

 

[CollegeGirl]

I think that's a good idea. It's all so overwhelming isn't it? One of my emotional battles within myself is feeling responsible for dad's happiness - he says to me that he has no life, and that makes me feel that I have to try to do something about it, but nothing really works and then I feel as though I've failed.

 

[Miss Merlot]

No words of advice here AG, as have not even nearly reached that stage with MIL, but just wanted to say thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug... xx

 

[Dazmum]

I think that's a good idea. It's all so overwhelming isn't it? One of my emotional battles within myself is feeling responsible for dad's happiness - he says to me that he has no life, and that makes me feel that I have to try to do something about it, but nothing really works and then I feel as though I've failed.

I used to feel just like that with my dad too, CG, I tried so hard and nothing worked

 

[Anongirl]

I think that's a good idea. It's all so overwhelming isn't it? One of my emotional battles within myself is feeling responsible for dad's happiness - he says to me that he has no life, and that makes me feel that I have to try to do something about it, but nothing really works and then I feel as though I've failed.

I am absolutely terrible for worrying about other people's happiness. For example, to a lesser extent to you, my younger brother is struggling to deal with what is happening to mum. I know he is getting very low though he is very supportive. Last night I was upset and usually I would talk it over with him but I couldn't bear to put any more pressure on him so I didn't. I'm worried about him too.

We'll drive ourselves crackers!

 

[Anongirl]

No words of advice here AG, as have not even nearly reached that stage with MIL, but just wanted to say thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug... xx

Thank you Miss Merlot x

I wouldn't have believed how quickly she could deteriorate. Just before Christmas she was still doing her volunteer job and visiting people on her own. It's all happened so fast to this point. I keep hoping she stabilises again.

 

[Raggedrobin]

HI Anon, well I don't know if this will make you feel worse or better but went in today and just couldn't believe it, mum was back to her normal dementia state of confabulating but the strange delirium has gone! Her wrist, which had swollen up, has gone down again, and as i had worried, it must have been that that caused her downtown. I have been a pain in the xxxx to staff these last few days, but now I feel I was right, mum's condition was entirely down to pain/discomfort.

i do hope things perk up with your mum, It was like a miracle to have mum back to being her chatty self today. Xx

 

[bilslin]

Hi Anongirl sorry to hear about your mum. Did the gp see her today. Even reading all that's on here still hits you for six when it happens to your mum. Sending you hugs and strength. lindax

 

[Anongirl]

HI Anon, well I don't know if this will make you feel worse or better but went in today and just couldn't believe it, mum was back to her normal dementia state of confabulating but the strange delirium has gone! Her wrist, which had swollen up, has gone down again, and as i had worried, it must have been that that caused her downtown. I have been a pain in the xxxx to staff these last few days, but now I feel I was right, mum's condition was entirely down to pain/discomfort.

i do hope things perk up with your mum, It was like a miracle to have mum back to being her chatty self today. Xx

Aww I'm so glad to hear that RR! What a relief for you. Hopefully she will continue to improve. It must be so hard for her not to be able to tell you something isn't right. X

They say mum is pretty much the same today but she said with plenty of coaxing they are managing to get her to eat here and there. She said she just doesn't seem to recognise what to do with food anymore. I hope at least she can keep eating because she's only slim to start with.

 

[Anongirl]

Hi Anongirl sorry to hear about your mum. Did the gp see her today. Even reading all that's on here still hits you for six when it happens to your mum. Sending you hugs and strength. lindax

Hi Linda, she's got a few more days of antibiotics yet so I think they are letting her finish the course first before getting the GP back. I know she's taken a downturn but I'd like to see her at least calm again.

I still can't get the pooing episode out of my mind. I just can't believe that was my mum. I know, I have a lot to come to terms with