Mum's deterioration

[Anongirl]

I had a bad feeling tonight about mum so I rang the CH. They said she seems to be deteriorating quite significantly recently. Refusing food, tablets, showers, etc. She's starting to wander back and forth to the front door and back. She's being aggressive and losing touch with reality.

Whilst I read about these things on TP and try to prepare myself its always a punch in the chest when it happens to my mum.

They are treating her with antibiotics just in case it's an infection but if she's not improved by Tues they are getting the doctor back again.

They want me to go in and try to encourage her to have a shower and eat. I go every weekend anyway so I'll try. I wanted to go straight away but they advised me not too as it would upset her routine and I do agree with that.

Anyway no point to this, I suppose it just helps getting it off my chest. I sometimes wish mum was very old. Not that it would make it easier but I can't stand the thought of years of suffering for her.

 

[Dazmum]

I'm sorry to hear this AG, what a worry for you. It could be a UTI as they suggest. I can understand you wanting to rush to her right now too, I'd be the same. xx

 

[Izzy]

I'm sorry to hear that CG. No matter how much we know or prepare ourselves it's always hard.

 

[Anongirl]

I have been thinking about what Lyn T posted about her husband and how he was affected by the Trazadone. She wasn't a wanderer before. I don't know what to think really.

I guess first thing is to rule out infection.

I'm at a loss. Not for the first time and certainly not the last.

 

[CollegeGirl]

I'm so sorry, AG. What a worry, and such sadness. Big hugs xx

 

[Anongirl]

I feel quite numb CG. Numb, sad and helpless. **** isn't it.

 

[2jays]

Seem to be in the same place as you anon

Mum has started pacing apparently and GP has prescribed

It all seems to be happening too fast all these downturns mums having.... First downturn nighttime bed wetting.... now pacing.... I'm not ready for them....

Hugs and chins up.... We can do this..... We can do this.... Little steps...... xxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[CJinUSA]

I'm sorry this is happening for you, AnonG. Funny how we can sense, without being told and outside of rational logic, that things are amiss.

My mother (who lives with us and whom I monitor through every night) woke up last night tugging and tugging at something. I thought it was the little gadget doggie we use for her, for comfort, and I thought she was pulling it apart or something. She was tugging at her nightshirt to her pajamas, a pj top that was unfamiliar, because, she said, she wanted to get the collar up, because she wanted to be ready for the bus tomorrow.

That was at midnight.

At 3 AM, she was restless again, and so I went down, and she was thinking that she needed to be outside. "Mom, it's still night-time, so let's go to the toilet." So there we went.

By 7 AM, she had her pj bottoms off and in the trash can to her bathroom.

It all happens in an instant, it seems. There's no uti here, no other illness that can be blamed. Just delusions from Alzheimer's.

I am very sorry you are facing this. If it's any consolation, you are def not alone.

 

[LYN T]

I have been thinking about what Lyn T posted about her husband and how he was affected by the Trazadone. She wasn't a wanderer before. I don't know what to think really.

I guess first thing is to rule out infection.

I'm at a loss. Not for the first time and certainly not the last.

I know medications affect everyone differently at different times but in Pete's case the Trazadone had an INSTANT reaction. If I remember correctly others gave positive opinions about the drug. Pete also has Bipolar 1 with mixed episodes so we shouldn't really compare.

However, Anongirl I'm very sorry that your Mum is not eating and wandering. IMO those things are more worrying than refusing the shower. When you visit this weekend could you take a little something for her to eat that you know she really likes-strawberries or other fruit cut up small. Or some chocolate-any treat will do

Does your Mum like music-do you think she would settle a bit if you played her favourites in her room? Or read to her, or gave a hand massage

Oh dear-I'm rambling. I'm out of ideas but some of these things have worked for Pete.

Maybe she needs her meds reviewed-aggression can be controlled up to a certain extent. I hated it when Pete endlessly wandered round so you really do have my sympathy

Please let us know how your Mum is when you next see her

Take care

Lyn T

 

[starryuk]

Any news on your mum this morning, Anongirl?

I will keep my fingers crossed that it is a uti and that the antibiotics kick in soon. When did they start them?

 

[garnuft]

Sorry to hear about your Mum, AG. I know it's been said and I know it seems to be said all the time but whenever my Mam had sudden downturns like this, it always turned out to be some sort of infection, with Mam it was usually her chest, she very rarely had a UTI.

I hope the abs work their magic. xxx

 

[Ann Mac]

So sorry to read this about our Mum AG - I hope it is an infection, and that the anti biotics kick in quickly to help. Thinking of you hun xxxxx

 

[LadyA]

Sorry to hear about the downturn in your mum AG. Garnuft has a point though - William is the same as her mum was. Any sudden downturn like you describe, in William has so far invariably meant an infection lurking somewhere, usually respiratory.

 

[angecmc]

So sorry to hear about your Mum, really hope for some improvement for you soon. It is just such a battle, never know what to expect with my Mum these days, hugs for you (()) xx

Ange

 

[CJW]

So sorry for you. My mother too is on an increasingly steep slippery slope and I too know intuitively when she isn't right. The CH seem on the ball and I hope the antibiotics help. the different stages are so hard to cope with and upsetting for her and you. I would ask the GP re drugs to alleviate her distress. Is she sleeping properly? My mother gets very distressed when she is over tired. keep strong.....

 

[Anongirl]

Thank you all so much.

Mum was quite anxious and confused and got emotional when she saw me. She was convinced something awful had happened to my brother so I rang him so they could have a chat and she seemed to calm down a little.

I managed to convince her to eat half a sandwich but she had very little interest in the food. I tried every trick in the book, I even told her I made the sandwich myself and would be very upset if she didn't eat it! It worked for a couple of mouthfuls. I took her to her room and she let me brush her teeth.

Then disaster struck She started pulling her trousers down, she said she needed the toilet. Before I could stop her she had done a number one and two all over the floor. It was everywhere, all over her and she was standing in it. Just a nightmare. I ran downstairs for help and two carers came to my aid! I felt traumatised for both me and mum to be honest. Dementia takes every shred of dignity. She seemed to know afterwards that it wasn't the right thing to do and was embarrassed. The carers dealt with the situation amazingly and before long mum's room was clean and mum was being showered by a carer who was so kind and patient to her (I listened at the door to check ). Afterwards I told the carer she was worth her weight in gold. I meant it.

So in a very roundabout way I managed to get her to eat and shower. A very roundabout way though

I honestly can't decide if this is deterioration or something else going on. She is definitely worse than last weekend though. She's on day three of antibiotics so I guess we wait and see. X

 

[garnuft]

Oh AG, what an awful time for you and your Mum, as you say every shred of dignity robbed.
I'm glad you felt happy with how the carers treated your Mum.

Such sad times for you, I hope the abs do help your Mum and I hope you're able to sleep OK tonight. x

 

[Ash148]

Thinking of you AG and hoping for better news tomorrow. Cannot fathom the depths to which dementia is taking mum on a weekly basis now - there is no reason to it.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Oh AG, my heart goes out to you both. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry xxx

 

[Anongirl]

There are no words really are there? I don't think many people would understand all this if I told them. I would never have believed a few years ago that we could be in this position. I keep thinking of mum on my wedding day in 2005. Stood there in her beautiful trouser suit and hat, looking so glamorous and sophisticated.

She's now reduced to this.

It's like a bad dream.