She's gone!
- Thread starter yorkieinlincs
- Start date
I'm so sorry to read this Dennis
I hope, amongst the feelings of loss, that you come to realise that Ann is now at peace.
Go steady and be kind to yourself in the times ahead.
Lyn T
I hope, amongst the feelings of loss, that you come to realise that Ann is now at peace.
Go steady and be kind to yourself in the times ahead.
Lyn T
Ann
LynT and all
Thank you so much for your kindness and support at this very difficult time.
Despite family and TP members being so attentive, it is now very lonely.
Denis xx
LynT and all
Thank you so much for your kindness and support at this very difficult time.
Despite family and TP members being so attentive, it is now very lonely.
Denis xx
Oh Dennis. I have no magic words to help ease that lonely feeling. I so wish I did.
I can only imagine what that lonely feeling feels like.
Take each day at a time, take little steps, one by one.... and hopefully one day the loneliness won't be so raw and painful.
Be kind to yourself. Allow your grief to be as it is, not as others expect it to be... There are others on TP who do know exactly how you feel, so keep in touch with us and I hope it helps you through this difficult oh so difficult time xxxxx
I can only imagine what that lonely feeling feels like.
Take each day at a time, take little steps, one by one.... and hopefully one day the loneliness won't be so raw and painful.
Be kind to yourself. Allow your grief to be as it is, not as others expect it to be... There are others on TP who do know exactly how you feel, so keep in touch with us and I hope it helps you through this difficult oh so difficult time xxxxx
My sincerest sympathies at your loss. You both had a long struggle and loved each other throughout. Although she is gone she is still there in your heart and you in hers. You have not lost anything, remember the love and memories you share. The pain will ease and the memories will stay. Remember that love ad laughter forever.
Maureen
Maureen
Denis,
When I visited hospital patients, sometimes, one would tell me of the passing of their spouse. I always encouraged them to remember their loved one by talking to friends/family about them so that their memory could be kept in the hearts of those who loved the person.
Never be afraid or embarrassed to speak of Ann to anyone who will listen, and love and strength to you.
With respect and sympathy, Jen
When I visited hospital patients, sometimes, one would tell me of the passing of their spouse. I always encouraged them to remember their loved one by talking to friends/family about them so that their memory could be kept in the hearts of those who loved the person.
Never be afraid or embarrassed to speak of Ann to anyone who will listen, and love and strength to you.
With respect and sympathy, Jen
Ann
Thank you once again for all your kindnesses and advice; it was Ann's funeral on Tuesday, a day I had been dreading since she passed away. the building of a new life without my partner and wife of 48 years seems such a mountain in front of me. Despite family and friends, the house is so empty without her, coming home to emptiness and quiet is the worst part of it so far.
I know many of people on TP have been in this situation; I would love to know how you coped with the sadness?
Any advice would be most welcome.
Denis x
Thank you once again for all your kindnesses and advice; it was Ann's funeral on Tuesday, a day I had been dreading since she passed away. the building of a new life without my partner and wife of 48 years seems such a mountain in front of me. Despite family and friends, the house is so empty without her, coming home to emptiness and quiet is the worst part of it so far.
I know many of people on TP have been in this situation; I would love to know how you coped with the sadness?
Any advice would be most welcome.
Denis x
I haven't got to that bit yet. Gotta be honest, I dread it. I see you wrote that last message a couple of days ago, Denis and couldn't run out without wishing you strength for the days ahead.
Just wishing you strength and peace, Denis, because I have little more to offer you than to tell you that you will get through this and out the other side. It is not time for me to have this experience yet, but it will come, as it does to all of us who give ourselves to another. All the helping things people tell you at this time hold true, of course, but it's all down to you at the end of the day. My Mother used to say that you never get over it, but each day you learn to cope a little bit more until one day you feel the sunshine on your back again and you can remember the good times with only joy in your heart. I hope that day comes very soon for you, Denis, and it will with your dear one's hand firmly in yours. Loving thoughts. X Shelagh
Denis-you sound so sad and lost, and why wouldn't you?
You have lost your beloved wife and that alone is so hard for you to bear. The silence when you come home must be terrible-I feel so inadequate as I have no suggestions but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Many people on this forum have experienced what you do now.
So sorry
Lyn T
You have lost your beloved wife and that alone is so hard for you to bear. The silence when you come home must be terrible-I feel so inadequate as I have no suggestions but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Many people on this forum have experienced what you do now.
So sorry
Lyn T
Denis, I hope you will not think me presumptuous. Whilst not in your position, I have spent the last two years alone, and so do have some slight idea of what you are facing.
As we have all seen you have an enviable talent. Would it not help you and benefit the rest of us if you put it to good use, describing your present situation?
Ann.
I am reminded of a quote I read many years ago though I cannot recall the author:
When a heart breaks, it screams out in pain. You may not hear a plaintive cry, but the silence is deafening.
This is what life (and the house) feels like now; I have faith in myself and the love that Ann gave me that I will have the strength and fortitude to come through this sad loss eventually.
I spent this afternoon at my daughter’s with her family; her husband and two of our wonderful grandchildren. It helps, but somehow there is the sadness that on such a day at another time both Ann and I would be spending this quality time together with them.
Mike and all, your support is most welcome.
Denis x
I am reminded of a quote I read many years ago though I cannot recall the author:
When a heart breaks, it screams out in pain. You may not hear a plaintive cry, but the silence is deafening.
This is what life (and the house) feels like now; I have faith in myself and the love that Ann gave me that I will have the strength and fortitude to come through this sad loss eventually.
I spent this afternoon at my daughter’s with her family; her husband and two of our wonderful grandchildren. It helps, but somehow there is the sadness that on such a day at another time both Ann and I would be spending this quality time together with them.
Mike and all, your support is most welcome.
Denis x
Hi Yorkieinlincs
I too am going through this although now I have started to fill my life a little again. I lost my hubby in February this year but had been apart for 10 months previous.
I can only suggest at the present that you look on the Dementia dealing with loss section to see how others are coping. I will however get back to you again
My very best wishes
Benjie
I too am going through this although now I have started to fill my life a little again. I lost my hubby in February this year but had been apart for 10 months previous.
I can only suggest at the present that you look on the Dementia dealing with loss section to see how others are coping. I will however get back to you again
My very best wishes
Benjie
my apologies for not getting back to you sooner. My "taken my "new" life has taken me along different stages from being so sad after all the usual procedures of arranging the funeral etc when I was so busy and still in shock but maintaining a degree of balance to after the event when things finally hit me and I couldn't be bothered to do a lot of things (our home was on the market at the time and still is so I had all that to deal with). I had already started some volunteer work but felt unable to return, luckily my superviser was very understanding and after several months I came back to it. it was only 2 hours a week but am now finding it satisfying again. I also found after the event that I was shutting myself off from old friends as I needed to find my own way through it all whilst still maintaining small contact with them. Eventually I took myself off for a 4 day break away from everyone I knew on my own and came backe ready to move on.
I decided that I needed to put something back by trying to help people in our situation and have arranged to attend an Alzheimers show in Manchester to gain more information. As circumstance3s would have it I had a telephone call from a long standing friend whose husband was going through extremely bad patch which I told her was the signs of dementia. I have been able to help her through a DST meeting at the hospital and she now has some other support in her area. I can only thank my luck (if that is the word) that I could help her through the initial stages. They have never had a day apart in their 68 years of married life and this came out of the blue. They are only in the early stages of getting him out of hospital and into a home.
Believe me you have a great deal to offer. If you can find your local carers association they would be only too appreciative of your knowledge and support for others.
I hope you will be able to move forward again in the near future.
My very best wishes for your future.
Benjie
I decided that I needed to put something back by trying to help people in our situation and have arranged to attend an Alzheimers show in Manchester to gain more information. As circumstance3s would have it I had a telephone call from a long standing friend whose husband was going through extremely bad patch which I told her was the signs of dementia. I have been able to help her through a DST meeting at the hospital and she now has some other support in her area. I can only thank my luck (if that is the word) that I could help her through the initial stages. They have never had a day apart in their 68 years of married life and this came out of the blue. They are only in the early stages of getting him out of hospital and into a home.
Believe me you have a great deal to offer. If you can find your local carers association they would be only too appreciative of your knowledge and support for others.
I hope you will be able to move forward again in the near future.
My very best wishes for your future.
Benjie
I am so sorry to hear of Ann's passing. I have lost two husbands by death, and now I am watching my third decline because of this terrible disease. Absolutely nothing could be worse, but I know you all feel this. There is one thing that hopefully you will soon realize and there is a great difference between being lonely and being alone. The void is a really bad phase to go through, so any time you need to vent your emotions, there are so many here that will listen. As I read all of these replies for all entries, I am amazed how many wonderful people with helpful comments are there....and they become friends with one another. Bless you as you grieve. Ann was lucky to have you caring for her.
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