A life in the day of.........................

[Grannie G]

It`s OK now thanks, Kathleen and Jan, he has come out of whatever it was.

He was `strange` all morning, building up to this statement of being frightened of me. Now he has just offered to make me some dinner, but we`ve settled for a cup of tea.

I asked why he was frightened of me and he didn`t know what I was talking about. He said why should he be frightened of me when I do everything to help him.

He wanted a packet of crisps, but couldn`t find them. I took him to the kitchen, opened the cupboard, and there they were. He said `Now I know. I have been to this cupboard so many times, but my memory has gone. `

I need to learn how to be unaffected by these hurtful comments. I KNOW it`s the illness, but................?

 

[Kathleen]

Glad things are back to normal for you.

Kathleen
x

 

[Norman]

Sylvia
it is so hurtful when a loved one says nasty things to you.
At times my Peg told me I was cruel,wicked ,a ******* (she never swore )why didn't I clear out.
The only way to deal with it to know that they do not mean it,it IS the illness talking.
I used to wait and in due course she would tell me that only wanted me and that was all she cared.
Now she has gone and the pain of not having her anymore outweighs all the insults.
love
Norman

 

[BeckyJan]

Oh Norman, your post makes me feel sad. But some comfort to me - the photo sorting session has ended on a bit of a sour note - but I should not heed the insults - as you indicate the pain of losing him sometime in the future will be far worse.

What a wretched disease. Beckyjan

 

[Grannie G]

Oh Norman, I know everything you say is true, and I know you would have all the insults plus, to have Peg back.

But however much I tell myself it`s the illness, I can`t stop being hurt. I`ll get there one day.

Even though he is OK now, he isn`t really.

He is friends now, but so confused. He is talking in riddles, confusing people and places, our son is his brother, when we go to Manchester next week, he`ll see all his family, he`ll stay with them for a few weeks, etc. Now it remains to be seen if this phase is temporary or permanent.

Thank you.

 

[jeanierec]

Hello Sylvia

Having a really nightmare week with mum so much so I don`t feel able to post at the moment but keep checking in to see whats happening to my friends so I just want to send you lots of love and hugs which aren`t going to make a lot of difference but at least you know we`re thinking of you.

Jeanie x x

 

[Grannie G]

Sorry about your mum Jeanie. We all know about nightmare weeks, don`t we.

Sorry it`s too distressing for you to post. Posting is my outlet, but we all have different ways of coping.

I`m glad you still login though. Take care and chin up.

Love xx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Norman,

Just to say - You are not an ex-carer, you are and will always be a carer.

Joanne

 

[Nell]

Norman,

Just to say - You are not an ex-carer, you are and will always be a carer.

Joanne

Hear! Hear!

 

[connie]

Sylvia, Lionel was lost in his own world yesterday.

However, later in the afternoon I said "Shall I make you a nice cup of coffee"

Out of nowhere came the reply:"No, let me do that"

This from a man who has not been out of his chair for over 4 months. (The only words he had uttered all day other than yes/no.)

 

[gill@anchorage5]

lovely thought

Hi Connie

How lovely to know that the thought was still there - Lionel wanting to look after you.

When Dad was last at home - even when he was quite poorly, from nowhere he would suddenly ask Mum "can I do anything to resist you?" - which was always his phrase for "can I do anything to assist you" when talking to my Mum.

Always made us smile....

Love

Gill x

 

[Grannie G]

It`s amazing isn`t it Connie.

It just shows he is still there, with the basic good manners he always had. After all your really sad posts lately, this shows how important it is for you to be there with him.

Strange, as we have had such a good day today, I was just about to post. What a coincidence...........

We have had a really good day today. I post so often about the bad days, I feel I must give recognition to the occasional good days too.

Nothing mind blowing happened, but I wouldn`t say no to more days like this.

Our son came this morning to watch the football with him. Manchester United are doing a pre-season tour, our son is on sick leave following laser eye surgery, so they had some quality time together.

Paul said he seemed remarkably `with it` today, so he noticed it too.

This afternoon, we went for eye tests, had a coffee whilst we were out.

Came home, prepared dinner together, he was interested in what we were doing.

And we have had a most uneventful evening.

Wonderful.

Connie,
I wish I knew what happened to make it better. I`m sure you would like to know if there would be anything you could do for a repeat of yesterday.

Answers on a postcard please............

 

[Brucie]

This from a man who has not been out of his chair for over 4 months. (The only words he had uttered all day other than yes/no.)

I think of these moments as times when dementia nods off, allowing the person to break through for a moment.

Strange, as we have had such a good day today

I'm so pleased!

 

[Skye]

Hi Connie & Slyvia

I'm glad you both had good days yesterday. It's amazing what a boost they give us, isn't it?

John had a good night last night, and is much happier now he has peace and quiet in his own home. We'll have a quiet day today.

I'm afraid holidays are off the agenda for us now, I wouldn't want to go through that again.

Hope we all have a good day today.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

It was short lived...........

In preparation for our trip to Manchester on Monday, Dhiren wants to phone an ex-neighbour and friend to ask if she knows of any accommodation for him, in our old area.

 

[Skye]

Just for him, I presume?

It's so sad.

 

[Grannie G]

Just for him.

I managed to distract him, but next time he asks, if I have the courage, I`ll give him the phone number and see what happens.

I wouldn`t mind, but he had very little to do with our neighbour/friend when we lived there. Now she has become his saviour.

 

[BeckyJan]

A (birth) day in the life of .....

Its my birthday - not a special but how sad - the first time David has forgotten it - well nearly - I have just been given my card (after a reminder) at 5.30 pm. To make a bit of an event of it I am taking him to our local Italian this evening. I bought my own pressie a couple of weeks ago and I have reminded and shown it to him nearly every day. 'I have not got you a present' - yes you have its here - a HANDBAG!! I guess that bag is going to be with me for the rest of my life - not really special, but IT IS cos I think it may be the last given with any understanding at all.
Best wishes all Beckyjan

 

[Skye]

Jan, happy birthday! I hope you have a lovely meal out tonight.

And cherish that handbag. Even if David didn't buy it, at least he knows it's your birthday. That means nothing to John now, so make the most of it.

Here's a cake for when you get home.

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

Thank you

8 x 8 = 64 + 3 = ?? Guess what a few candles short!!!!
Thank you that has made my day and a cake too (no-one ever has sent me a birthday cake!!! so that is special.
Hope you feel better now following your return, but comfort of your own home.
Best wishes Beckyjan