Poor Piedsmum is poorly again.
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Fifi, do you think because Mum's so emaciated that her body is unable to metabolise morphine? I do wonder. It doesn't seem to have made any difference to her at all x
I don't know how she is standing it. I'm just stroking her head, saying, "We're looking after you. Everything's all right. You're safe. Try and let go. We love you." I keep saying there, there, there.
I read her that poem about resting your weary head - don't know how I got the words out. Thanks for those. Rest your weary head has been added to my little repertoire of phrases.
I'm sure that will be comforting her, your familiar soothing voice. Stay strong xxx
Dear Pied,
Gosh, M is so right. There may be a struggle at the very end, and the cheyne stoking is not easy to watch but if you picture her on the other side, breathing peacefully, having arrived, and her wondering why she hadn't done this sooner, it will get you through the toughest part. Though, sometimes I wonder which part id the toughest? Perhaps you've already had it.
She was also right that you will feel a strong sense of her watching over you. I didn't feel it immediately, perhaps it was the surreal shock of finally having lost mum, but with both parents, I found myself saying their names to the point of almost ridiculous! I needed to keep them alive... Every other sentence, for weeks and weeks, was "...this was Grandma's favourite...", "...my mum used to say..." "...mum would have loved this..."
I think maybe because you can no longer say "mum" to their face, you say it to anyone you see, just to be able to say it.
Another day, Pied. Face it with the incredible strength of spirit that you've shown so far. Let love hold you up, xxx
Gosh, M is so right. There may be a struggle at the very end, and the cheyne stoking is not easy to watch but if you picture her on the other side, breathing peacefully, having arrived, and her wondering why she hadn't done this sooner, it will get you through the toughest part. Though, sometimes I wonder which part id the toughest? Perhaps you've already had it.
She was also right that you will feel a strong sense of her watching over you. I didn't feel it immediately, perhaps it was the surreal shock of finally having lost mum, but with both parents, I found myself saying their names to the point of almost ridiculous! I needed to keep them alive... Every other sentence, for weeks and weeks, was "...this was Grandma's favourite...", "...my mum used to say..." "...mum would have loved this..."
I think maybe because you can no longer say "mum" to their face, you say it to anyone you see, just to be able to say it.
Another day, Pied. Face it with the incredible strength of spirit that you've shown so far. Let love hold you up, xxx
Dear Pied, you and sis are doing all you can for your mum. The staff sound so kind and understanding and are doing their best for your mum too.
It must be a great comfort for her to hear your reassurances as she slips into sleep.
Wishing you all a peaceful day.
Jan xx
It must be a great comfort for her to hear your reassurances as she slips into sleep.
Wishing you all a peaceful day.
Jan xx
Gosh! Just sitting here and a huge gust of wind blew in the window and knocked the window off its hinges! Do you think it was an angel flying in? 
Thanks
The carer just brought us a tray. Two plates of steaming steak & kidney pie with croquettes and veg and the tastiest gravy ever. I put a little gravy on Mum's tongue. Just a dab on the end of my little finger.
Mum's breathing seems weaker now. She is very grey and drawn but appears totally out of it. Hopefully euphoric and talking to the angels about changing her mind!!!!
The carer just brought us a tray. Two plates of steaming steak & kidney pie with croquettes and veg and the tastiest gravy ever. I put a little gravy on Mum's tongue. Just a dab on the end of my little finger.
Mum's breathing seems weaker now. She is very grey and drawn but appears totally out of it. Hopefully euphoric and talking to the angels about changing her mind!!!!
Well Mum is due morphine in an hour and I am convinced that in the last hour she's been oblivious to the two of us.
The door just opened and closed but there's no one there. I said to Sis, it's Aunty, she has just popped to the loo be auss she is tired of waiting for Mum to decide what she wants to do.
The door just opened and closed but there's no one there. I said to Sis, it's Aunty, she has just popped to the loo be auss she is tired of waiting for Mum to decide what she wants to do.
It's relaxing just being with mum when I'm convinced she's "asleep" which I know by whether her eyelids flutter when I pop my hand on her forehead. But then I keep getting attacks of severe butterflies. It's weird. I feel calm but scared.
Bless you College Girl. I know - there are no words for an experience like this! I expect Mum might sit up and ask where her trifle is at any minute.
Bless you College Girl. I know - there are no words for an experience like this! I expect Mum might sit up and ask where her trifle is at any minute.
I know what you mean. My mind was playing tricks when I sat with my dad.
Dear Pied,
You describe just how it was for me in the last hours... I was happy to sit, in silence, with mum, just enjoying the peace. Then the butterflies as something pops into your mind to remind you why you're there. Unnerving, yet ok.
I'm glad your mum seems oblivious, and that she's in a deep sleep. It's an intensely private time, and a lovely way to say goodbye, so I hope it stays this way til the end.
Don't give anything else a thought, just focus on the moment you're sharing with mum, xxx
You describe just how it was for me in the last hours... I was happy to sit, in silence, with mum, just enjoying the peace. Then the butterflies as something pops into your mind to remind you why you're there. Unnerving, yet ok.
I'm glad your mum seems oblivious, and that she's in a deep sleep. It's an intensely private time, and a lovely way to say goodbye, so I hope it stays this way til the end.
Don't give anything else a thought, just focus on the moment you're sharing with mum, xxx
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