Dear Pied,
Gosh, M is so right. There may be a struggle at the very end, and the cheyne stoking is not easy to watch but if you picture her on the other side, breathing peacefully, having arrived, and her wondering why she hadn't done this sooner, it will get you through the toughest part. Though, sometimes I wonder which part id the toughest? Perhaps you've already had it.
She was also right that you will feel a strong sense of her watching over you. I didn't feel it immediately, perhaps it was the surreal shock of finally having lost mum, but with both parents, I found myself saying their names to the point of almost ridiculous! I needed to keep them alive... Every other sentence, for weeks and weeks, was "...this was Grandma's favourite...", "...my mum used to say..." "...mum would have loved this..."
I think maybe because you can no longer say "mum" to their face, you say it to anyone you see, just to be able to say it.
Another day, Pied. Face it with the incredible strength of spirit that you've shown so far. Let love hold you up, xxx